


Secret Craving

by catmilla



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, F/F, Student!Laura, teacher!carmilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-08 11:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 71,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3207140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catmilla/pseuds/catmilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla Karnstein is the new history teacher at Silas High. Laura Hollis is the overly enthusiastic senior that is VERY excited to "get to know her". Appearances made by the ginger squad and puppy kirsch. Slight Danny/Laura. Laura/Kirsch brotp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello Darling

**Author's Note:**

> (Please do yourself a favor and picture Carmilla with glasses because she has them)  
> Carmilla is human. Everyone is human.  
> For right now this is all her POV. Eventually Laura's will be thrown in.  
> (This isn't going to be like 500 parts I promise I just haven't worked out how many I'll need yet)

Carmilla nervously dug through her purse to find the keys to her classroom. Room 307 at Silas High. It was finally the first day of school but she’s been stressed out for at least a week. She had just turned 24 a few weeks prior and she’s only been out of college for a little over a year, taking substitute jobs every now and then around the area until a full time position actually opened up. Luckily for her it was a history class which is what she had chosen to major in. She wasn’t entirely sure she was ready to be in charge of and _educate_ a room full of teenagers.

She finally got the door open and walked in. She had been in here a few times over the past month, trying to make it less painfully bland and so… _high school._ But there’s only so much you can do to a classroom that is in fact a high school classroom. There wasn’t much room to hang up any posters or anything either, the room looked like it had been intended for a science room. There were a lot of cabinets and a sink in the back and one of those chemical shower things. And one wall was a bunch of windows.

She frowned as she sat her bag on her desk and sat down. She pulled out her teacher’s edition books that had the start of some lesson plans in them. She wanted to make sure she was ready. Two World History classes, two Geography classes and one AP World History class. There was another teacher that taught US History and Government and all that other boring stuff. The only reason she was interested in history was because she was interested in other parts of the world and their history.

US History was boring.

She sighed and dug further through her bag, finding a list of the students in her classes. The fleeting thought of making a seating chart quickly made an exit out of her brain, remembering how much she hated them in school. Always getting stuck next to everyone she didn’t like made school suck even more. Come to think of it she thought it was kind of ironic she ended up being a school teacher since she was the indifferent, broody teen that would rather have been anywhere else. Maybe being on the other end of the totem pole would be better.

She pushed her glasses back up her nose and began getting all of her stuff organized on her desk. With a quick glance up at the clock she realized she probably came in a little early. It was barely 7am now. She rearranged a few more things before giving up and logging into her computer.

After several minutes trying and failing to get on websites like Facebook and Twitter and even some “news” sites, she realized that the school Ethernet had pretty much everything blocked. She hoped that wouldn’t get in the way of any future projects or homework she might assign as she gave up and signed in to check her email. Nothing new there either.

She rolled her eyes and sighed again as she browsed through the school’s website. The lunch menu looked absolutely revolting. Mystery Meat Friday? That’s an actual thing?

She skimmed over the school newsletter, nothing important there. After a few minutes she realized she was no longer sitting in silence as some bustling was coming from the hallway. She looked up at the clock again and it was almost 7:30, which was apparently when the school busses started to arrive. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to the door and propped it open for when her students decided they wanted to come in. Before she sat down again she hesitated at the board, wondering if she should write her name on it. That’s a thing teachers do right? So she did.

She made a face at it before she finally sat back down. Miss Karnstein. _Miss_ Karnstein. That sounds way too formal for her but it’s not like she’s going to let them call her Carmilla. She would rather be too formal than too personal.

She blindly clicked around on her computer more, seeing what programs were installed and such until she heard someone clearing their throat to her side. She glanced over and saw a tiny brunette getting herself situated in the front and middle seat. The girl smiled at her and she smiled back, noting it was about 10 minutes before class was going to start.

Teacher’s pet.

The girl glanced to Carmilla’s left for a split second before looking back at her, “Good morning, Miss Karn-Karnstein? Am I saying that right?”

Carmilla nodded, “And good morning to you too…”

“Laura. Laura Hollis.” She smiled.

“Laura.” Carmilla added.

“So _you’re_ the new teacher everyone’s been talking about. I mean…not like _talking about_ talking about. I just mean that you’ve been mentioned a lot…I guess.” The younger girl rambled and Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her.

“That would be me.” Carmilla confirmed.

“I guess I just didn’t expect someone like you to be the new history teacher. I mean I don’t really know what I expected but…not you I guess. I mean you look so young, you’re probably like twenty-five or something right?” Laura continued rambling.

“Hey don’t push it,” Carmilla chuckled, “I just turned twenty-four thank you very much.”

“Oh, sorry,” Laura looked down, blushing slightly, “So did you like just graduate or…?”

“Last year actually.” Carmilla said.

“Oh, cool, where did you go to school? If you don’t mind me asking I mean.” Laura asked curiously.

“Miami University…Go RedHawks.” She feigned enthusiasm as she threw a weak punch in the air.

Laura snorted, “That’s in Ohio right? How did you end up here?”

Carmilla shrugged, “I actually grew up not far from here so…I guess I just unfortunately ended up back here somehow.”

“Oh, so you went away for school. That’s good I guess, I mean, I’d hate to have a teacher from _Ohio.”_ She teased, adding a weird emphasis to Ohio.

Carmilla laughed, “Understandable.”

“Was being a history teacher actually your goal or did you want to do something else?”

“I mean…It’s not like, the dream job or whatever but…I’ll take it. Why do you ask?” Carmilla asked.

Laura shrugged, “I mean, you don’t seem like the history teacher type I guess. Kinda like I mentioned earlier.”

“Well,” Carmilla started, “I minored in Art if that makes more sense to you.”

Laura looked at her for a moment and tilted her head, “Yeah I can see that…You kind of have that, artistic-vibe I guess you could say.” She smiled.

Carmilla chuckled, “I would’ve taught art but the position wasn’t available. But you know I like history and stuff and it made more sense to me to major in that instead. You know what everyone says about art majors.”

“Yeah,” Laura laughed, “That makes sense. But so, like are you actually really good? Do you draw or paint?”

“You’re just full of questions aren’t you?” Carmilla smiled at her.

Laura just shrugged, “I’m kind of into journalism and I’m naturally curious so…I can’t really stop myself sometimes.”

Carmilla nodded, “Well, I do both. It depends on what I’m in the mood for but I usually like painting the most. The way the brush feels gliding across the canvas is weirdly relaxing,” She explained.

“Maybe you could share with the class one day.” Laura suggested.

“Maybe,” Carmilla shrugged, “Also, I can already tell by your personality that you’d make a good journalist someday.”

Laura beamed, “Thank you! I’m seriously considering majoring in it, if I can figure out which school I wanna go to.” She explained before a trio of redheads entered the room.

“Hey, Laura!” One of them exclaimed.

“Oh hey guys,” She said, tearing her gaze away from Carmilla, “This is Danny, LaFontaine and Perry.” She said and Carmilla just nodded her head at them.

“And please call me LaFontaine, not Susan. They/them.” LaFontaine said, pointing at themselves before sitting on one side of Laura. Perry sitting down next to them.

Carmilla smiled and gave them a thumbs up, “Noted.”

“Why do you always have to sit in the front of the class, you know people like to bitch about me being in the way.” Danny complained as she sat on Laura’s other side.

Laura rolled her eyes, “I can barely see over average-sized people okay? When there isn’t a seating chart I’m going to take advantage,” She explained, “There isn’t a seating chart right?” Laura quickly turned to Carmilla who shook her head.

“Not as long as you all behave.”

Laura smiled and looked relieved before turning back and continuing her conversation with Danny as the room started filling up with more students.

The bell rang and Carmilla waited for the announcements to end before standing up and addressing the class, “Good morning everyone,” She said, earning a few ‘good mornings’ along with a few groans, “I know I know, the last time you’ve been awake this early was probably the last day of the last school year. _Anyway,_ I’m Miss Karnstein and this is AP World History. Exciting, I know.” She said, the only one even remotely amused was Laura. Not surprising.

“So, I know I’m the new teacher and whatever but I’m not gonna do any of that ‘let’s get to know each other’ crap or anything so…for today, I just need you all to sit still while I take attendance, do you think you can handle that?”

Laura’s hand raised in the air, “Yes, Laura?”

“Are we going to be signing out books or anything?” She asked.

Carmilla shook her head, “We only have enough copies for one class so they need to stay in here. There are a few extras if you ever need to borrow one but none of the homework should take longer than the time I give you at the end of class so…”

Laura’s hand raised again, “ _Yes?”_

“What’s the difference between the other World History classes and this one?” She asked.

“Honestly,” Carmilla started, “If you’re in this class it’s because you didn’t take World History last year and have a higher grade point average. That’s literally the only difference. And don’t ask me why it’s like that because I honestly don’t know.” She explained and Laura pouted a little, “Sorry if you thought you were a special bunch here, sweetheart.” She said with an amused look.

A kid in the back of the classroom raised his hand and began speaking before Carmilla even said anything to him, “Can Laura just shut up now so you can take attendance and get this over with?”

Laura’s head whipped around with an annoyed look on her face, “Shut up, Michael!” She hissed.

Carmilla snorted, “Okay, let’s stop telling people to shut up,” She said, “And yes, I will take attendance now and ‘get this over with’.” She mocked as she walked to her desk and picked up the paper and began rattling off names, waiting for a response. Surprisingly everyone was there.

“Okay, before you start talking and whatever I have a few things to say. One, I don’t care if you cuss or anything in here just refrain from the ‘f-word’ and don’t call each other names. I don’t care if you help each other with homework but keep in mind the keyword _help._ Do _not_ just copy off of each other. And the last thing, I know I’m just a few years older than you guys but I know how you high schoolers like to be little pricks sometimes, trust me I used to be one, so just treat me with respect and I’ll do the same, got it?” Carmilla asked.

A few of the girls snickered and glanced back at the guys in the back of the classroom who probably did fit the description of a prick. Not that she would admit that. That wouldn’t be very professional.

“So next time be prepared to actually do something. A notebook and pen and whatever else you think you’ll need, okay? Now you can go ahead and talk amongst yourselves or whatever.” She said, waving her hand dismissively before sitting back down at her computer.

A few minutes later when the bell rang, she turned her attention to the students nearly running each other over to get out of the room. She rolled her eyes but she didn’t miss the smile Laura gave her before she followed them out of the room.

* * *

 

By the end of the first week she was already exhausted. She had about 100 student’s faces and names to piece together to remember, 100 papers to grade, more lesson plans to sort out…she was beginning to wonder why she ever thought this would be a good idea. And it’s a blessing she hasn’t already killed one of the teenage boys that painfully remind her why she quickly lost an interest in an entire gender because of them early on in life. It’s also a blessing she hasn’t been late yet. Waking up before 6am every day wasn’t really her thing either.

She adjusted the light on her desk over the papers she was trying to grade when she heard a knock on the doorframe. Upon glancing over, she saw Laura leaning against it with a small smile on her face, “I hope I’m not disturbing you or anything but, I have some homework from yesterday I need to finish if that’s okay?” She asked as she slowly inched into the room.

“That’s fine.” Carmilla said, “Did you need any help?”

“Oh no,” Laura said quickly, “I just-I kind of got distracted talking to Danny, I just have like two or three left to do and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Okay,” Carmilla said, “Wait, did you eat lunch?” She asked, realizing it _was_ her lunch period too.

“On Mystery Meat Friday? No thanks,” Laura laughed, “I brought a snack though, if that’s okay?” She asked, pulling a package of cookies from the vending machine out of her bag.

Carmilla shook her head, “That’s fine, just don’t get crumbs everywhere.”

“Well I’m not _usually_ a messy eater,” Laura shrugged, “But if I make a mess I always clean it up.” She said and Carmilla could’ve sworn she saw a smirk flash across her face before she popped a cookie in her mouth and turned her attention to her homework. Carmilla narrowed her eyes but returned her attention to the papers that needed grading.

They sat in mostly silence, just the sounds of their pens scratching across the paper and the occasional crinkle of Laura’s cookie package before a faint crunch of her chewing. After a few minutes, she heard Laura gathering her things. She didn’t look up until she saw her approach her desk.

“Are you usually in here during lunch?” She asked.

Carmilla hasn’t exactly hit it off with any other teachers at the school. They were all at least 15 years older than her. So yeah, she would prefer spending lunch in her classroom, “It seems like I will be.” She said, “Why?”

“Oh, I just…Sometimes I used to hang out in the band room when I just wanted some alone time or to catch up on homework and stuff…or read you know, just…not wanting to be in the cafeteria and it’s too hot to go outside. Anyway, the middle school rearranged their schedules for some reason so now there’s a class in there when we have lunch…I was hoping maybe you wouldn’t mind me coming here sometimes? I mean it won’t be all the time just like once, maybe twice a week. Tops.” She rambled.

Carmilla couldn’t help the smile on her face, “I think that’ll be fine.” She said.

Laura smiled in relief, “Thank you! I mean if you really don’t want me to its fine I-“

“Laura, its fine. I promise.” Carmilla said again, reassuring her.

“Okay, thanks.” She said again, still smiling.

“So…the band room huh?” Carmilla smirked, “Are you a band geek?”

“Wha- _no_.” Laura said, “The atmosphere is very relaxing in there is all.”

“If you say so.” Carmilla said.

Laura frowned, “Whatever, I bet you actually _were_ a band geek.”

“Can’t say that I was,” She said, “However, I can play piano. And I wanna play drums but, I’ve tried. I don’t think I’m coordinated enough for that.”

Laura smiled now, “Well if you can play piano I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard for you to learn. And you draw and paint so…sounds like you’re pretty good with your hands to me.” She said slyly.

Carmilla snorted but before she could respond, if she could even figure out how to, Laura was already speaking again, “I should get going, but thanks for letting me borrow your room. You can have these if you want.” She said, placing the rest of her cookies on Carmilla’s desk in front of her before bounding towards the door, leaving Carmilla to watch after her with narrowed eyes.

That couldn’t have been what she thought it was, right?

* * *

 

“Alright guys, pass up your homework from Friday, front and center aka to Laura.” Carmilla instructed, “And start reading the last section of the chapter.” She added as she walked slowly towards Laura’s desk while she collected the papers from both sides and quickly tried to shuffle them together neatly.

Once she held out the papers she smiled at her, “You look very nice today, Miss Karnstein, I like your skirt.” She said quietly, looking her up and down, her gaze lingering on her legs before looking back up with a smile still on her face as Carmilla grabbed the papers from her.

Carmilla gave her a tight lipped smile, “Thanks.”

She rolled her eyes when she turned away from the class. _That_ certainly wasn’t helping anything. She spent more time than she would care to admit over the weekend trying to analyze what exactly had happened during lunch on Friday. Laura seemed like a sweet girl, maybe she just says things without really thinking and then fails to hear how they sound to other people? She surely couldn’t blatantly say things like that on purpose. To her _teacher._

Maybe she just has a kind of flirty personality? She sees the way she talks to Danny sometimes, how she’s always getting her to smile.

Maybe her mind is just always in the gutter and is taking things the wrong way.

Maybe she should just stop worrying about it. Laura is a smart girl, even if she did have a crush on her there’s no way she would ever act on it or anything right?

She sighed and pushed her glasses up her face a little bit to squeeze the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes for a minute. No, she was just overreacting.

She chanced a glance over at Laura who was giving her a mildly concerned look but quickly tried to recover herself by glancing around the rest of the room to see if they were done reading yet. It wasn’t a long section. A few students were doodling or staring off into space so she figured if they aren’t done, they’re close to it.

So she stood up and made her way over to the screen that was projecting the notes she had typed up on her computer. The end of this chapter was leading up to the next chapter about the Industrial Revolution. Super exciting.

She cleared her throat and asked the students to begin copying her notes as she started asking questions about what they had just read. Laura of course, raised her hand first every time. To the point where she actually had to ask someone else that wasn’t Laura to raise their hand. She hated it because she hated when teachers randomly called out students to answer a question but it was pretty hard to get much class participation when Laura was the only one willing to answer questions and everyone else seemed okay with letting her do it. Eventually Perry and Danny joined in. That was it.

After about a half hour she glanced up at the clock and realized they were running out of time, “Okay, if you don’t have the notes written down, finish them up. We’ll start the next chapter tomorrow and please be a little more willing to participate. We don’t want Laura to throw out her shoulder from putting her hand up all the time.” She said, giving her a small grin, earning a smile in return.

The bell rang as she returned to her desk. They’ve gotten better about not acting like they were a part of a bull run trying to get out. At least she won’t have to worry about someone injuring themselves.

Her eyes somehow managed to find Laura behind the crowd, standing at her desk, gathering her things.

She quietly scoffed at herself. This was ridiculous. Even if Laura was actually showing an interest in her, she’s thinking about this way too much. She just needs to brush it off, let her know she’s not reciprocating the feeling.

Not even a little bit.

But of course she realizes she’s still looking at her throughout this thought process when Laura turns to her and smiles again. And she gives a tiny grin in return before she turns her back and walks out the door.

* * *

 

The next day in class she succeeded in getting more than three students to participate. She also succeeded in failing to pay no more attention to Laura than necessary. Meaning she also succeeded in catching the girl staring at her a lot more than the rest of the students were. Even the guys.

Thursday in class they were working with partners on a project she assigned at the end of class on Tuesday. No issues there.

Friday she waltzed in during lunch with two sodas and a snack cake in her hand. She walked over to Carmilla’s desk with a smile and extended the grape soda to her, “I noticed you drink these during class sometimes, and I thought I would bring you one.”

“Thank you.” Carmilla said, taking it from her before she grabbed a chair from next the corner of the room and brought it over to Carmilla’s desk. Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her.

“Obviously I remembered you said you stay here during lunch and I haven’t really seen you interact much with the other teachers. I just figured you might get lonely sometimes, I imagine being at school seven hours a day with no one to really talk to must get a little boring.” She said, avoiding eye contact as she opened up her snack cake.

Carmilla thought about it for a moment as she took a drink of her soda, “I guess so.” She said.

Laura gave her a look so she elaborated, “I mean, I’ve never been the social butterfly or whatever. I almost prefer to be by myself most of the time.”

“Oh,” Laura said, looking down again, “I can go if you want.”

“No you’re fine.” Carmilla said, a little quicker than she would’ve liked.

Laura looked back up and smiled, “Want one?” She offered the second snack cake in the wrapper to her.

“No thanks.” Carmilla said.

“I have some brownies too, I made them myself.” Laura said, digging through her bag for them.

“I definitely don’t want any of those.” Carmilla said, making a face before turning her attention to the test she was trying to make up for her Geography class.

“Hey!” Laura said, sounding offended, “I’m a good baker, just ask my dad.”

“I wouldn’t trust a parent’s opinion on stuff like that.” She chuckled.

Laura scoffed, “Well _I_ like them. Just try a bite.” Laura said, breaking off a piece and holding it in front of her.

Carmilla side-eyed her but turned her head and opened her mouth, allowing Laura to pop the brownie in it. Laura beamed as she waited for Carmilla’s reaction.

Carmilla shrugged and looked back at her paper again, “Not too bad I guess.”

“Wha-I,” Laura stuttered, backhanding Carmilla’s arm, “Oh my God, I’m sorry.” She said quickly.

Carmilla looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “Its fine.”

“Anyway, what I was going to say was,” Laura continued, “ _Not too bad?_ Really?”

“That’s what I said.” Carmilla said, with a grin playing on the edge of her lips.

“But it’s so moist! And I even put chocolate chips in it. Maybe you didn’t get any in that bite.” She said breaking off another piece and examining it to see if there were any in it.

Carmilla finally laughed, “I’m just messing with you, it was good.”

Laura gaped at her, “Good?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “It was the best brownie ever, it was so moist and the chocolate chips were a nice touch.” She said in a monotone.

“Thank you,” Laura said, sounding pleased now, “I happen to think I’m very good at making things moist.”

There it was again. Carmilla nearly choked to death on the drink she was taking.

“Oh my God are you okay?” Laura asked, standing up and putting a hand on Carmilla’s back as she coughed.

“I’m fine.” Carmilla struggled to say through coughs.

“Are you sure?” She asked, moving Carmilla’s hair away from her face so she could see her better.

“Yeah, yeah.” She said, waving her off with her left hand, effectively knocking her hand away from her. Laura took the hint and sat down again.

They sat in silence for a few moments while Carmilla coughed randomly, trying to settle herself down. She finally opted to try to take another drink, hoping to God or whoever was listening, for Laura to keep her mouth shut this time. It worked.

“I can bring some each time I plan on coming in if you’d like. I mean, if you still don’t mind me coming in. Or if you would prefer I actually brought something to do from now on.” Laura finally said.

Carmilla shrugged, “I guess as far as company goes, you’re not so bad.” _God, I really should just tell her to stop._

Laura snorted, “Thanks, I guess?”

They looked at each other for a moment before Carmilla broke the silence, “Okay, do you think you can ‘keep me company’ in silence for a few, I really need to get this test ready for next period.”

“Of course.” Laura smiled and watched her work as she continued munching on her brownie. Carmilla reached over and wordlessly snuck one out of the bag to snack on while she worked. Laura smiled even more.

A few minutes later the bell to signal the end of lunch rang. Laura finished her last brownie and drink before reaching beside the desk to throw them away. She sat her bag next to the trash can, standing up to move the chair back from where she got it before walking back over and picking up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder just as Carmilla finished writing out the last question of the test. She stood up to follow Laura out the door. She needed to make copies before class started.

“I’ll see you in class on Monday, Miss Karnstein,” Laura said, reaching out and touching Carmilla’s arm. Carmilla glanced down at her hand on her arm, “Have a good weekend.” She smiled and gave her arm a light squeeze before turning around and walking out of the room. After she was gone she glanced down at her arm where she could still feel the tingling sensation of her hand. _Shit._

Again, Carmilla spent more time during her weekend thinking about what the hell Laura Hollis was doing. And again during class she caught Laura staring at her several times. She knew she was the teacher but most of the kids “listened” to her while doodling or staring off into space or something. Not usually looking right at her for a significant amount of time. Especially when she makes eye contact with them. That’s usually when they look away. But not Laura. She just smiles at her until Carmilla is the one to look away.

That’s pretty much how it always goes during class. Lots of staring. She hasn’t come in so early since the first day and she’s usually accompanied by Danny when she walks in the room. So week three went by a little smoother. However she was noticeably absent from lunch Friday which she later found out was because she went home early. Something about not feeling well or something. Whatever. It’s not like she wondered if she was okay or anything.

It’s not like she let out a sigh of relief when she saw her walk in Monday morning. She didn’t look like she felt too hot though. Danny was carrying her things. She sat them down while Laura walked over to her.

“You feeling better?” Carmilla asked in a tone that sounded like she knew she wasn’t. But she wanted to make sure.

Laura shrugged, “Just tired,” She said, “I really wanted to stay at least until after lunch Friday but, I didn’t think throwing up all over you would leave a very good impression.” She chuckled.

Carmilla snorted, “Probably not, but don’t worry about it.”

“Well,” Laura said, bringing a hand from behind her back, “I owe you some brownies. I promise I made them Thursday night before I felt sick so hopefully they’re not contaminated.”

Carmilla took the bag from her with a smile, “Thanks.”

Laura smiled back, “No problem.” She said before making her way back to her desk.

Most of the class she was resting her chin in her hand, halfway sprawled across her desk. When Carmilla was done with the lesson, she straightened out her arm and laid her head on it.

Not that she kept glancing at her to make sure she was okay or anything.

When the bell rang, Danny nudged her. She must have actually fallen asleep. Her head shot up and she looked over at Danny with one eye half open and the other one squeezed shut. It was cute.

In theory.

People are always cute when they wake up right?

Carmilla rolled her eyes at herself and turned her attention away from them and to her computer.

* * *

 

Laura was out of sorts for the rest of the week. Carmilla wasn’t entirely sure she should have even been back on Monday when she came back but, it probably killed Laura to miss the latter half of the day on Friday. She wasn’t going to miss a whole day. When she came into lunch this Friday she offered Carmilla a tired smile before walking to her own desk, “I would’ve brought you brownies but-“

“Its fine,” Carmilla interrupted, “I’ll try to be quiet, just rest.”

Laura smiled again before crossing her arms over the desk and resting her head on them. It wasn’t long before she heard a quiet snore coming from that direction.

She looked up at her, her face was hidden in her arms. Carmilla smiled.

And she sighed at herself.

What is it about her? She wouldn’t be so concerned if she didn’t catch herself thinking about her as much as she did.

Or stealing glances at her as much as she did.

Or feeling her stomach do a little flip when she steals glances at her and catches her doing the same.

But those things kept happening.

And they shouldn’t be.

She still wasn’t even entirely sure Laura had any ulterior motives with this ‘friendship’ thing she’s been somewhat forcing on her. Not that she minded. But she should.

But that made it even worse. What if Laura really did just say things without thinking, not realizing how they sound? What if she really did just wanna talk to her and be “friends”, well, as close to friends you can get with a teacher.

And here she was, thinking about her. Worrying about her.

_Fuck it._

She stood up and quietly made her way towards the door, walking out of the room and down the hall to the vending machines. She got a bottle of Sprite and browsed the vending machine for a snack opting just to get some baby Swiss Cheezits.

Once she got back to the room, Laura was sitting up looking a little confused, “I was wondering where you were.” She said tiredly as she stretched.

Carmilla held up her purchases, “I thought I’d get these for when you woke up. I know you might not be up to eating much but you might feel a little better if you had a little snack.”

Laura smiled as she took them from her, “Thanks. But if I start throwing up again I’m blaming you.”

Carmilla snorted, “Fair enough.”

Laura opened the Sprite and took a tiny drink before running her hand through her hair and leaning back in her seat with a sigh, “I hate when I get sick, I end up feeling worse the entire week after than I do when I’m actually sick I think.”

“I get like that too, it’s because it drains you of so much energy and then when you don’t eat it’s harder for you to build it back up as fast.” Carmilla said as she sat back at her desk.

Laura frowned, “That’s dumb.”

Carmilla shrugged, “That’s just the way the world works, cutie.” She said and immediately froze. An unreadable expression flashed across Laura’s face.

Should she correct herself? Should she apologize?

“I guess.” Laura thankfully interrupted the silence before she carefully opened the bag of Cheezits.

Carmilla let out a long, quiet breath as she turned her attention to the papers on her desk, which she realized she was done grading. She reached into her bag and pulled out a sketchbook, opening it up and starting to doodle around. She ended up drawing a rough sketch of a black panther. They were her favorite animal, so usually her go to when she wanted to draw but just didn’t know _what._

Laura must have caught on to what she was doing, “What are you drawing?” She asked curiously.

Carmilla held up the page and Laura narrowed her eyes, leaning forward a little to see better. It was dark in the room so it didn’t really help. She stood up and walked over and made a face once she realized what it was.

“Oh that’s really good. You drew that just now?” She asked and Carmilla nodded, “That’s impressive.”

Carmilla shrugged, “It’s just a quick sketch.”

“A quick sketch?” Laura scoffed, “What’s an actual drawing look like?”

Carmilla smiled, “Better than this.”

Laura gave her another look and the bell rang, “Well, _my_ favorite animal is an Ocelot. Wink wink, nudge nudge.” She smiled.

“ _What_ is an Ocelot?” Carmilla asked.

“You don’t-you don’t know what an Ocelot is?” Laura asked, sounding genuinely hurt and confused.

Carmilla snorted, “No, I don’t.”

Laura hesitated as she glanced at the clock, “I need to go, just…Look it up. I’ll see you Monday.” She said quickly. Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her but nodded her goodbye before she sped out the door.

So she gathered that she wanted her to draw her an Ocelot. Whatever the hell that was.

* * *

 

So, another weekend passed where she thought too much about Laura. However this time it was because she was drawing her a damn picture of a freaking Ocelot. A “dwarf leopard” as it was described. Tiny and fierce. Much like herself.

When Laura walked in Monday morning she was in a heated discussion with Danny. She huffed when she sat down and looked over at Carmilla who was looking at her with a raised eyebrow before jerking her head back slightly, signally for her to come see her.

Laura narrowed her eyes kind of confused but obliged. Leaving Danny looking after her incredulously for walking away in the middle of her sentence.

“Yes, Miss Karnstein?” She nearly smirked as she reached the desk.

“I have something for you.” Carmilla said. She was actually a little nervous, despite having no real reason to be.

Other than the fact that she kind of maybe wanted her to like it. And was afraid she wouldn’t.

“Oh really?” Laura asked curiously.

Carmilla nodded as she pulled out her sketchbook and slipped a page out of it, handing it to her quickly.

“What’s this?” She asked as she took it from her. She flipped it over and saw what it was and her face lit up, “Oh my God, you actually drew one for me?” She asked, excitedly, looking at her briefly with the biggest smile.

Carmilla shrugged, “I kind of guessed the ‘hint hint, nudge nudge’ was a not so subtle request.”

Laura smiled as her eyes flickered all over the page, “I didn’t-you didn’t have to. Is this colored pencil?”

“It was no problem,” Carmilla waved her off. That might have been a lie. It would have been easier to paint but she didn’t feel like getting set up for that, so she opted to color it in. And it was a bitch. Drawing fur definitely isn’t one of her favorite things, “And yeah.”

“It looks so realistic it’s crazy. If I tried to do this it would like a three year old did it.” Laura laughed.

“That’s why I’m the artist and you’re the journalist.” Carmilla pointed out.

Laura shot her a look over the paper but it softened, “Thank you so much, I love it.” She said.

“You’re welcome.” Carmilla smiled. Her stomach did a little flip when Laura’s smile grew even more.

“Do you think you could hold onto it for the day? I don’t want anything to happen to it. I’ll pick it up when school is over.” Laura said.

“Yeah that’s fine.” Carmilla said, taking it back from her.

“Awesome, thanks.” She smiled as the bell rang for class to start and she made her way back to her seat.

When she came in later to pick it up she was in a rush.

She nearly ran into the room after school was over, startling Carmilla.

“Sorry,” Laura said, a little out of breath, “I forgot my dad had to drive me to school this morning so he’s waiting to pick me up. He gets a little weird if I take too long. Something about how something could have apparently happened to me in the short distance from the school to where he’s parked. Or about me having a secret boyfriend. Which isn’t a thing.” She rolled her eyes.

Carmilla laughed as she pulled out her drawing, “There you go.” She smiled.

“Thanks again.” She smiled as she took it from her. She looked like she was hesitating before she took a step back, “I’ll see you in the morning.” She said before she turned around and left.

“Yeah,” Carmilla breathed out after she was already out the door. She sat back with a sigh.

* * *

 

Things continued the same for a few weeks. It’s been a little over two months since school started. However, if Carmilla thought she thought about Laura too much before…

Laura started coming in during lunch on Wednesdays too. So she saw her every day of the week, even when she didn’t have her in class. She liked it. Against her better judgment. Most of the time Laura came in just to chat with her, other times she actually did bring homework. Usually it was her Calculus homework which she would occasionally ask for help on. Math never really was Carmilla’s thing but she helped as much as she could. Usually ending with a “you should probably ask your actual Calculus teacher for help” but Laura always just shrugged. She hates math more than you so she’s “not too concerned about it” which she thought she should be but…apparently she gets a good grade anyway so…Carmilla didn’t question it.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Laura asked one Wednesday while they sat in silence together while Laura finished an assignment from the day before.

She stood up and walked over to Carmilla’s desk to hand it to her. It might have actually been due at the end of class but Laura might have convinced her to give her a little bit more time since Danny kept distracting her.

“Sure.” Carmilla said as she took the paper from her without looking up from the test she was grading.

Laura sighed and leaned down on the desk on her forearms, taking the pen out of her hand, making her look up at her, “I just need some advice I guess.”

“What kind of advice?” Carmilla asked, leaning back in her chair so she wasn’t so damn close to her face anymore.

“I think-I think Danny might like me.” She said.

Carmilla blinked at her, “And?”

“ _And,”_ Laura shrugged, “I mean…I used to kind of like her but like…we’re friends now. Isn’t that a little weird?”

_Not as weird as the fact that we’re “friends”._

“Well, if you like her and she likes you then…” Carmilla said.

Laura interrupted her, “I said I _used to._ I don’t think I do now.”

“Why?” Carmilla asked.

Laura shrugged, “I like someone else now.”

“Oh,” Carmilla said, “Do they like you?”

“I haven’t really figured that out yet,” Laura said, leaning a little further on her desk as she looked down at the pen she was twirling between her fingers. Carmilla glanced down too, failing to keep her gaze there instead of wandering to Laura’s chest that was probably way more on display than is appropriate. It was a shirt that had a wide neck to it, it was a little too big for her so she wore it like it was supposed to hang off one shoulder. Leaning over her desk wasn’t hiding much.

Laura seemed to have noticed as a small smirk started playing on her lips, “I kinda think she does though.” She finally added.

“Then I don’t know what you’re asking me.” Carmilla said, trying to maintain eye contact.

Laura shrugged, “I just don’t know for sure how she feels and well…if by chance she doesn’t reciprocate my feelings…if I like her more than I like Danny would it be fair to Danny if I went out with her anyway?”

Carmilla thought about it for a moment, part of her wanted to say no because part of her doesn’t want to see her with Danny. They just wouldn’t be right for each other you know? Obviously.

The other part of her wants to say no for the actual reason being that _no_ it wouldn’t be fair to be with someone if you like someone else more.

“I don’t think so,” Carmilla finally said, “Would you want to go out with someone if they like someone more than you?”

“I guess not…” Laura said.

“Okay then,” Carmilla said, leaning forward and taking her pen back from her, “Anything else?”

Laura looked into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity, lingering in her space before she leaned back, “Not right now,” She said, “But I like your perfume, what is it?”

“It’s a body spray from Victoria’s Secret, Pure Seduction or something like that I think.” She said.

Laura smirked a little and tilted her head, “Well, I think it’s working,” She said before going back to her desk and grabbing her things, “Have a nice Fall Break, Miss Karnstein.” She smiled.

“You too.” Carmilla responded as she watched her walk out of the room.

* * *

 

Thursday and Friday seemed to drag by so slow. It was weird not having class in the middle of the week. It was weird not seeing Laura.

She scoffed quietly at herself as she walked into the mall to Victoria’s Secret, they were having a big sale on their body spray and lotion. She needed some more. Because she was running out. Not because she remembered Laura said that she liked it and even said she thought it was working.

That would be wrong.

Almost as wrong as it was that she was literally hearing her voice in her head right now. _Miss Karnstein, hey Miss Karnstein._

Then she realized she was _actually_ hearing her voice. She turned around and saw the smaller girl walking towards her as she was sniffing the spray she just spritzed on her arm.

“Fancy seeing you here,” She smiled, adjusting her purse over her shoulder and shifting the _lacy hot pink bra and underwear_ she was holding to her left hand, “Taking advantage of the sale, I see.”

“Uh, yeah,” Carmilla said through a strained smile, “More like fancy seeing _you_ here.” She added.

Laura laughed, “What, I’m not allowed to shop here too?” She said, stepping forward and grabbing her arm to smell what she just sprayed, “Ooh, what’s this?”

“Such a Flirt.” Carmilla answered.

Laura looked a little taken aback, “I was just asking which one that was it smells good.”

Carmilla laughed, “That’s what it’s called, Laura.”

“Oh,” Laura said, looking at the bottle when Carmilla held it up for her to see, “Sorry.”

“I think you’d like this one better,” Carmilla said, reaching up and grabbing one called Secret Craving, “It’s vanilla-y but not like, super vanilla like Vanilla Lace.” She said, opening it and offering to spray it on her wrist to test out. She held her arm out and let her spray, giving it a second before she sniffed it.

Vanilla was always a safe fragrance to go with. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Carmilla has noticed several times that that’s the kind of perfume Laura wore. And that it smelled amazing.

“Oh, I do like that one,” She said, taking the bottle from her and looking it over, “Secret Craving, huh.”

“It fits you…the fragrance I mean.” Carmilla said.

Laura glanced back up at her with a smile playing at the edge of her lips, “Yeah, I think I’ll get it.”

“The sale is five for thirty if you wanna get that and the body butter and I’ll get mine.” Carmilla offered.

“Oh, sure,” Laura said, “So, I’ll give you like twelve dollars then.” As she followed Carmilla to the checkout counter.

Carmilla paid for that and then waited for Laura to pay for… _her purchase._ She didn’t have enough cash on her so she literally asked for $13 cash back. “For taxes” she says when she hands it over to her.

They walked out of the store and Carmilla dug through her back for Laura’s items, taking them out and handing them to her. Laura smiled as she just opened her bag for Carmilla to drop them into.

“I guess I’ll see you in class Monday then,” Carmilla said, “Thanks for saving me thirteen dollars.” She smiled.

Laura gave her a small smile, “I guess so, you’re welcome.” She said, looking down.

“What’s wrong?” Carmilla asked, sensing there was something up with her.

Laura shrugged and kept her eyes on the ground, “I just, I guess it would be weird to like…ask you to hang out right?” She said quietly.

“Hey,” Carmilla said, tapping Laura’s chin so she’d look up, “It’s not _weird_ it’s just…”

“I get it.” Laura smiled and started to walk away.

Carmilla rolled her eyes at herself. She really should let her go. She should.

“Wait,” Carmilla said, skipping forward and grabbing her free hand, “I mean, we’re already out right? We can get a pretzel or something.”

Laura beamed at her, “I think that’d be okay.”

They walked together to the pretzel kiosk across the mall while Laura talked animatedly about what she did with her extra two days off and what she had planned for tomorrow. Which wasn’t much more than a movie marathon with her dad by the sound of it.

“That probably sounds stupid to you.” Laura chuckled dryly after she explained she just likes spending some time with her dad.

“No, it doesn’t.” Carmilla reassured her quickly as they reached their destination and fell in line.

Laura shrugged, “Just, after my mom died…I don’t know. He seems so lonely. I hate seeing him like that.”

Carmilla studied her face for a moment, she knew her mom wasn’t around because her dad was the only contact she had listed, but she didn’t know it was because she passed away, “I’m sorry for your loss.” She said quietly. She didn’t really know what else to say.

Laura shook her head, “It was a while ago but still…I think as the time goes on it gets worse for him. He expected to spend his life with her, you know?”

Carmilla nodded but didn’t respond, “I think that’s why I was so drawn to you…I mean…part of why. That sounds weird. I’m not _drawn_ to you I just…I mean, I hate seeing people lonely. I’m not saying that you were lonely or anything but...Like you know when you’re out to eat and you see an old person sitting in a booth eating by themselves?” She asked hypothetically, “It breaks my heart. I just want people to be happy. I can’t imagine being lonely makes anyone happy.” She shrugged.

“Maybe they aren’t lonely.” Carmilla suggested.

“Maybe,” Laura shrugged again, “They just like being alone like you? But yet you’re still here with me.”

“Maybe I like spending time with you.” Carmilla said before she could even think about stopping herself.

Laura turned her head to her quickly with a smile spreading across her face, “Yeah?”

Before Carmilla could respond, thankfully, they were the next in line so the pretzel guy interrupted them with a “What can I get for you ladies?”

They both got a pretzel with cheese and bottles of water, taking them and finding a bench not far away to sit at. Laura sat cross legged, facing Carmilla, setting her cheese on the bench in front of her. She tore off a piece of her pretzel, dipped it and popped it in her mouth before speaking again.

“How do you like being a teacher?”

Carmilla snorted, not expecting such small talk.

“It’s fine, at first I thought I was going to end up killing someone but…I’m used to it now.” Carmilla said.

Laura chuckled, “I think you’re a great teacher.”

“Thanks.” Carmilla grinned before taking another bite. _You’re a great student._

They sat in silence for a few minutes, finishing eating.

“This is awkward, I’m sorry. You didn’t have to do this.” Laura finally said once she finished.

Carmilla turned slightly to face her, “No, its fine. I don’t mind the silence.”

Laura snorted and rolled her eyes, “Of course you don’t,” She glanced down at her lips and saw she had a little bit of cheese sauce in the corner of them, “You have a little…” She pointed at her own lips so Carmilla would get the hint and she did.

She tried to look down and see it but she couldn’t so she blindly stuck licked at the corner of her mouth, but she couldn’t quite reach it all.

Laura watched her and giggled, “Here,” She said, grabbing a napkin and scooting a little bit closer. She bit at her own lip while she reached forward and wiped it away for her. Carmilla watched her intently the whole time, “There.” She said, looking back up and meeting Carmilla’s eyes.

They looked at each other for what seemed like forever before Carmilla finally snapped out of it, “Um, I should-I should probably get going.” She said, standing up quickly, grabbing her bag.

It took Laura a second but she stood up too, “Yeah, um, thanks for spending a little more time with me. I told my dad I wouldn’t be gone long though so I should probably get going too.”

“It was no problem,” Carmilla said, “Have a good weekend.”

“You too.” Laura smiled and they both started to walk away. In the same direction.

Laura laughed a little awkwardly, “Guess we’re going the same way.”

Carmilla snorted, “I guess so.”

Thankfully it wasn’t a long walk to the exit, “I parked over there so…Bye for real this time.” Carmilla laughed.

Laura chuckled, “Bye.” They started walking away from each other before Laura bounded back, grabbing Carmilla’s hand, “Wait.” She said quietly.

Carmilla whipped around, glancing down at their still conjoined hands before looking back up at her with a raised eyebrow. Laura hesitated for a moment before finally speaking, “I um…Would you…I don’t know how to ask this because you said it wouldn’t be weird but I kind of feel like maybe you were just trying to make me feel better,” Laura said quickly and sighed when Carmilla just looked at her expectantly, “I just…Was wondering if maybe we could…like hang out again sometime maybe?” She spat out quickly.

“Laura…” Carmilla started.

“No I know, that was stupid, I’m sorry.” She said, closing her eyes tightly, dropping her hand and shaking her head.

“It’s not stupid,” Carmilla quickly reassured her, “It’s-I’m your teacher…The school kind of frowns upon personal relationships with students.”

“I’m asking like, just as a friend though.” Laura said quickly.

“Wha-No, I know that,” Carmilla said. Of course she knew that, “I-“

“I don’t see what it would hurt, honestly.” Laura said.

_Say no, Carmilla. Say. No._

“I mean, I don’t either I guess.” Carmilla said, mentally cursing herself.

Laura smiled as she bit her lower lip, “Like, maybe just coffee after school or something sometime. I don’t see why that would be a problem.”

“Yeah, me neither.” She said against her better judgment. She knew they both knew what this was actually about.

“Cool,” Laura smiled and bit her lip again, “See you Monday, Miss Karnstein.” She said and skipped away.

Carmilla closed her eyes briefly as she turned around and walked to her car. There is no way this is going to end well.

She should just act like she forgot about this conversation, hope Laura never brings it up again and just go on about her life. She just needed to make it through the next 7 months of school and hope Laura would eventually get the hint about everything.

That’s exactly what she was going to do.

Nothing serious ever happened. Laura just spend a lot of time with her during her lunches, flirted sometimes…Sometimes she _might_ have flirted back. But that’s kind of just how she is. She flirts. So it’s okay. In a sense.


	2. Secret Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which there is a lot of talking and a lot of feelings and things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their feelings got in the way of the original premise of this stupid thing

Carmilla sat on the floor between her couch and coffee table, the local news playing on the TV in the background as she was making up the syllabuses for her classes for the rest of the semester. She needed to fit in two more chapters in her classes before the semester was over and leave them enough time to review before finals. She had all of them figured up except her AP class. The last chapter they needed to go over was a long one that would be cutting it close if they started after Thanksgiving Break yet she didn’t want to start it _before_ Thanksgiving Break for obvious reasons.

And the one they were starting tomorrow wasn’t really long enough to last between tomorrow and Thanksgiving Break.

She sighed as she repeatedly tapped the heel of her hand against her forehead. Well, the chapters didn’t really coincide with each other much. She could argue it would actually make more sense to switch them around, not that it would _actually_ matter…But if someone made her give a reason. Then they would have enough time to make it through them both comfortably.

So that’s what she decided to do. She saved the document and printed out a copy just in case, put it in her bag, and closed out of all the school related windows she had open. She had enough of that for one Sunday.

She opened up Facebook and checked her notifications rolling her eyes at all the stupid game requests. No friend requests (rude.). But a couple of messages. She opened them up. One of them was from some dude who would not stop bothering her in college. He was nice enough but you know, one of those guys that only wants to talk if it’s trying to convince you to give him a chance. He apparently has not gotten the hint that she is A. very gay, and B. several states away. She just deleted it.

The next was from…Laura Hollis. Seriously.

_L: Hey, Miss Karnstein! I was wondering if it would be weird to be friends with you on here. I thought I’d ask before I sent a request :)_

Carmilla snorted. As if being Facebook friends could be as bad as where she felt this was going to end up. But there was a rule about it. She was going try to follow _some._

_C: Yeah, actually there’s a rule about being Facebook friends or anything like that with students. Sorry._

The art teacher was kind of old. She figured he could be retiring soon right? She could take over his position, not have Laura in class anymore and none of this would be a problem anymore. She liked art much better anyway. Like she told Laura she only minored in it because majoring in it would likely get her not far in the real world. She needed to be smart about it. As if history is any better though really.

_L: Oh…but I wanna talk to you :(_

_C: You’ll see me tomorrow, cupcake_

_L: I know…but like…outside of school you know  
L: If I gave you my number would you text me?_

Holy shit.

She really does like Laura. Outside of all the other stuff, she likes talking to her. She has her moments but she’s a lot more mature than her age would suggest and honestly she hasn’t had a good conversation with anyone but her in a long time. But that’s mostly her fault. Kind of.

_C: Are you sure that’s a good idea?_

_L: Why, is it a bad one?_

Carmilla laughed. _Is it a bad one_? Kinda.

_C: What do you have to talk about that can’t wait until we see each other?_

_L: Just say no if you don’t want to, it’s fine.  
L: I kinda thought I was getting somewhere though_

What?

_C: What?_

_L: With you._

_C: What do you mean?_

_L: Honestly?  
L: Actually, never mind. I’ll see you tomorrow, have a good night :)_

Carmilla just shook her head and closed her laptop.

* * *

 

Apparently Laura wasn’t going to let the fact that Carmilla wasn’t super into the idea of exchanging phone numbers get her down. However Carmilla kind of thought so considering she was relatively quiet in class Monday and Tuesday but when she came in during lunch on Wednesday she was all smiles.

“I got a frame for the Ocelot you drew me.” She said as she pulled a chair up next to Carmilla’s desk.

“Did you?” Carmilla asked. She didn’t think it was _that_ great.

Laura nodded, “Oh yeah, it’s sitting on my nightstand.”

“I didn’t think you liked it that much. It wasn’t my best work.” Carmilla said, turning in her chair to face her.

Laura shrugged, “I think it’s really good…but even if it did suck I’d still love it,” She said and Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her, “Because _you_ drew it.” She clarified, tapping the toe of her shoe against Carmilla’s with a smile.

Carmilla blinked at her, “Well now I don’t know if I should believe you saying it’s actually good.”

Laura snorted, “It is, I promise. I showed my dad and he was impressed. Do you trust parent’s opinions now?”

“Well yeah, he’s not _my_ dad.” Carmilla chuckled.

“Oh, speaking of him, I was supposed to apologize for him about not showing up to that midterm thing last week for the teachers and parents. I totally forgot about it and so did he.” Laura said quickly.

Carmilla shook her head, “It’s cool, I weaseled my way out of it anyway.”

“Of course you did,” Laura laughed, “But he kinda wanted to meet you.”

“Why?” Carmilla asked.

Laura shrugged, “I might mention you every so often. He thinks you’re ‘cool’.”

“Oh really,” Carmilla said and Laura nodded. As if she needed this girl’s dad knowing anything about her at this point, “What do you say about me?”

“Nothing bad, obviously,” She answered quickly, “Just you know, like one of your snarky comments you made that day and stuff like that. How glad I am that you’re the new teacher…instead of some creeper or asshole or something you know.”

“Mhmm.” Carmilla said just looking at her.

“What?” Laura asked, “I obviously really like you why would I say anything bad?”

“That’s not…” Carmilla started. That’s not what she was worrying about, “Okay.”

“What?” Laura asked.

“Nothing.” Carmilla said.

Laura pursed her lips and looked at her for a moment before she scooted a little closer, resting her hand on Carmilla’s knee, “I know what you’re thinking, I didn’t say anything that would make him think anything.”

Carmilla narrowed her eyes, “Think anything like what?”

Laura gave her an incredulous look, “I know at the mall you were a little weird about things so I-“

“There’s not anything for anyone to think.” Carmilla spoke again, interrupting her.

“If you say so,” Laura said after a moment, squeezing her knee before she pulled back and stood up, “I promised Danny I’d help her with some homework so I’m gonna go. I’ll see you in the morning.” She said as she scooted the chair back to where she got it. Carmilla rolled her eyes, there is no way this girl was going to give up. She may act like she’s just being friendly but when it gets down to it she’s starting to make her intentions very clear.

* * *

 

Carmilla has never had much luck with her relationships. She was a bit of a loner in high school, not many people found that ‘alluring’ apparently. It also didn’t help that she doesn’t usually like people in general. Ever.

College was a little better. Mostly flings, but a few girlfriends that never worked out. She likes to blame them because there is obviously something wrong with them for not wanting to be with her. But, she knows it’s actually because of her. She was never interested in them passed the physical aspects and that was always a problem for her. It’s not very often that she lets people in like that, _that’s_ not really her fault. She always has a wall up and very few people have ever been willing to try to break it down and let themselves in. And that’s usually how she decides whether or not they’re really worth her time.

And then Laura came along and pretty much inserted herself into her life.

The problem is Laura is 17 and Laura is her student. She does not need to be letting a 17 year old into her life like she has. She hasn’t even graduated high school yet. Carmilla has been out of college for over a year.

Laura still lives with her dad. Carmilla has practically been on her own since she was 15. Her mother didn’t have the greatest reception to her coming out. She stayed with her friend Will. He lived across the street and they practically grew up together. He was the only one she actually trusted and that’s how they got even closer. But even so, his parents didn’t just _give_ her everything.

Laura has such a naïve, optimistic view of the world. She may even go as far as to say an _innocent_ view of the world. Carmilla has seen how the world can truly be and she hopes Laura never has to.

The age difference honestly is not what bothers her. What bothers her is that Laura isn’t 18 yet. That Laura has barely experienced _life_ yet. If they were both a few years older it would be an entirely different story.

She sighed and rolled over in her bed, readjusting her pillow under her head to get more comfortable so she can try to go to sleep and stop fucking over-analyzing this.

There is such a stark difference between them in every aspect she can think of. Yet she can’t help but just think:

Opposites attract, right?

She turned her face into her pillow and groaned. No.

Laura is clearly under the impression that Carmilla has some sort of…not teachery feelings for her. That much is obvious. To be fair she honestly gave her no reason to think that she _didn’t._ She continues letting her flirt with her, she continues to even do it back, she continues talking to her even though she knows at this point she needs to stop; it needs to stop before something happens.

It needs to stop before Laura gets hurt. It needs to stop before they do something stupid.

It needs to stop.

* * *

 

Carmilla is pretty sure every sort of interaction spurs Laura on even more. Even if she does try to tell her this is not a thing. Probably not in a very convincing way but…

There were several times she would turn around and see Laura’s eyes dart back up to her face with a smirk across her face. There were several times when she would wear a skirt that a similar incident to the first time she wore it would happen. A few more innuendos snuck in here and there.

The worst part is, Carmilla _still_ did nothing to discourage her. Most of the time she would acknowledge the way Laura was looking at her with a raised eyebrow, sometimes even a quirk of her own lips.

It was absolutely ridiculous how often she would tell herself that she needs to put her foot down and then see Laura walk into the room and just completely drop the thought from her mind because she is like _really_ fucking cute. Pretty…Gorgeous, really.

It was absolutely ridiculous how she ended up making her feel like she was 17 too. It was so easy to talk to her and her stomach would do a little flip when she would smile or laugh. She was even kind of excited when she knew she was going to see her.

Honestly ridiculous.

She was 2 seconds away from just jumping through the window and running away for good when she heard _that_ voice interrupt her thoughts. She glanced up and Laura was at her seat with her hand raised, “Can you come here for a sec?” She asked sweetly.

Carmilla sighed but walked over and stood in front of her desk, “What’s up?”

“Well, the instructions for this map are a little confusing. Are we doing this based on the map on this page or this page?” She asked, pointing toward the two pages open in her book.

Carmilla moved towards the side of her desk and rested her hand on the paper, turning it to her so she could see it better. After she studied it for a few moments she said, “Both actually, the maps represent two separate things so the map on your homework is asking about both of them.”

“But they’re from different years.” Laura pointed out.

“I don’t make the rules, sweetheart.” Carmilla said and Laura brought her hand up to the inside of Carmilla’s wrist and danced her fingers up her forearm before Carmilla tried to ignore her and walk away. Laura tightened her grip and Carmilla shot her a look.

“What are you doing?” She hissed, yanking her arm away and looking around and making sure no one else was paying attention to them.

Laura looked at her innocently but she had that twinkle in her eye, “You tried to walk away but I wasn’t done yet.”

“ _What?”_

“Can we do this in different colors or should we just do it in pen?”

“Seriously?” Carmilla asked.

Laura shrugged and grinned, “Just wanna make sure I’m not breaking any rules.”

Carmilla chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment while she looked at her incredulously, “I really don’t think that’s stopped you before.” She whispered before she finally walked away.

Laura wasn’t going to get bored with this. _She_ probably wasn’t going to get bored with this. If they were in any other situation _something_ probably would’ve happened by now. And she doesn’t really know how that makes her feel. She knows how it _should_ make her feel though.

She is her teacher and she is 17.

A few minutes later the bell rang and as usual lately, Laura is taking her sweet time gathering her things. Her skirt was _very_ short today. She wondered if maybe it was breaking the dress code violation. They had to go to your knees right? Hers was most definitely not that long. Carmilla chewed at her bottom lip for a moment as she watched her. She needed to do this. Now.

Once most of the students filed out of the classroom, Carmilla called out to her, “Laura can I see you for a moment?”

She saw her smirk before looking up at Danny who was waiting for her, “Go ahead, I’ll see you in Calculus later.” Danny smiled and nodded before walking off when Laura walked towards her, “Yes, Miss Karnstein?” She said innocently.

“This needs to stop.” Carmilla said.

Laura’s face fell, “What are you talking about?”

“This, you doing that just…stop.” Carmilla blurted.

“I thought-“

“It doesn’t matter what you thought, Laura. This is wrong.”

“Miss-“

“No, Laura listen to me. I have acted like I’ve been oblivious to what you’re doing long enough and have even played along with it. I know you know this and I know you know it needs to stop.” Carmilla explained quickly.

Laura looked at her for a moment, “What’s so wrong about it?”

“Are you kidding me?” Carmilla asked.

“What? I’m almost eighteen. I’m literally turning eighteen in January, that’s like a little over two months away.” Laura said.

“That’s only half the problem, Laura, I am your teacher. It’s not just ‘frowned upon’ okay? People go to jail for crap like this.” Carmilla hissed.

Laura pursed her lips together and shifted her weight from one leg to another, “So what exactly are you putting an end to? I thought you said there wasn’t anything for anyone to think or whatever.”

“Because there’s not but that doesn’t change the fact that you shamelessly flirt with me all the time and I don’t do anything but encourage you.” Carmilla said.

Laura looked at her for a moment, “Fine, but who even said I was being serious?”

Carmilla tilted her head and gave her a disbelieving look.

“Fine.” She finally said again.

“It’s just a crush, Laura. I’m sure you’ll be over it in no time.” Carmilla said. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince her or herself.

“Yeah, just a stupid crush,” Laura rolled her eyes, “I guess it was ridiculous of me to actually expect something out of somebody feeling the same way I feel about them.”

“Laura that’s not-“

“You can pretend all you want okay but I know you feel _something_ or this conversation wouldn’t even be happening.” Laura interrupted her.

“Laura,” Carmilla started again.

“No, I get it. I need to get to class. Have a good day, Miss Karnstein.” She said before she stormed out of the room.

She pushed her glasses out of the way and squeezed the bridge of her nose. Why did she feel like she just broke up with someone she was never even seeing in the first place?

* * *

 

Laura unsurprisingly didn’t show up for lunch Wednesday. She almost thought she wasn’t going to come to class Thursday before she stormed in at the last second and threw something on Carmilla’s desk before walking to her own seat and sitting down. Danny looked concerned and started trying to talk to her.

Carmilla looked down at the sheet of paper and flipped it around to read. It was a request to transfer out of the class. Her reasoning being “an environment unsuitable for a proper education” and Carmilla rolled her eyes. There was no way she was signing this without talking to her first.

She stood up and started class, Laura didn’t participate _at all_. In fact, she just sat in her seat with her arm crossed over her chest, staring at anything but Carmilla the entire time.

After class, she walked up to Carmilla’s desk and held her hand out. Carmilla ignored it.

“I didn’t sign it and I’m not going to.”

Laura scoffed, “Come on, you want me to leave you alone and unless I’m out of your class I’m not gonna be able to like…get over you or whatever.” She mumbled the last part.

Carmilla pursed her lips and looked up, “Laura, you are an amazing student and I’m not going to let you mess it up because you have a little crush on me okay?”

“That’s-“ Laura huffed, “A _little_ crush, really?”

Carmilla sighed, “Laura, you’re seventeen. I don’t know how comfortable you are with your sexuality or anything but I’ve been in your shoes. You see somebody older, attractive, and they give you a little attention and suddenly you feel like you have the biggest crush in the world on them.”

Laura just stared at her for a moment, “So you think I just fall for anyone who gives me a little attention, is that what you’re saying?”

“That’s not-“

“You know what,” Laura interrupted her, “You’re right. You _don’t_ know about any of that. I know to you I probably just seem like this sweet, dorky, little girl but I got over that ‘desperate for attention’ thing a long time ago when I dated the biggest jerk in the whole freaking school and stayed with him for like, a year, because he pretended to care about me. Every single sign in the world was there that he was just stringing me along and seeing other girls behind my back, that I wasn’t even you know, that _interested_ in him yet I still stayed with him because he was a manipulative jerk and knew all I really wanted was his attention and just a tiny bit of proof that he cared about me. I’m not falling for that again so that’s certainly not why I’m interested in you.”

Carmilla blinked at her, yeah she probably didn’t know as much about Laura as she assumed.

“And don’t tell me that’s why I ‘think’ I’m into girls now because that’s absolutely ridiculous, I’ve had a girlfriend and plenty of crushes on girls. Even before him.” Laura added.

Carmilla shook her head, “That’s not what I was going to say.” She didn’t know what she was going to say actually.

“Oh, does it surprise you that I actually have some experience with stuff like this?” Laura asked when Carmilla didn’t continue, “That I’ve had a _serious_ boyfriend and girlfriend? That I’m actually aware of my feelings and know what I want? That I don’t have such an innocent view of the world after all? I kinda don’t know how I should feel about the fact that you’ve just assumed I’m some dorky, naïve, innocent, impressionable little girl based on how I look and how little you actually know about me and my life prior to you showing up.”

“Its not-it’s not that I just,” It kind of was that actually, “Teachers don’t really think about their students like that I guess.”

Laura scoffed, “Teachers don’t really flirt with their students or talk with them every freaking day like they’re best friends either and then get scared and back out when they finally acknowledge the fact that they have feelings for each other.”

“What makes you think I have feelings for you?” Carmilla asked.

“Are you really being serious about that?” Laura asked in disbelief, “If you don’t then you’re a gigantic bitch that really needs to stop flirting with everything that gives _you_ attention and leading them on if you have no intention of following through with anything.”

Carmilla’s eyes widened slightly as she chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment. She probably deserved that actually, “Laura, you’re a smart girl. You can’t honestly think, hypothetically, that getting into a relationship with a teacher is a good idea.”

“You can’t honestly think I would care whether or not you’re my teacher if I was so sure that this was what I wanted and what I thought felt right.”

“Nothing about whatever this is feels right, Laura. Do you realize how much trouble I would get in?” Carmilla asked.

“That’s the only thing stopping you and you know it.” Laura said confidently.

“For someone calling out someone for thinking they know more about you than they do you sure are being awfully presumptuous.” Carmilla said.

Laura shook her head, “Just sign the stupid paper, I’m already late to class. By the way I hope none of your students heard what we’ve been talking about.”

“I’m still not signing it.” Carmilla said glancing around behind her. All of them seemed to be preoccupied talking amongst themselves thank god.

“Oh my god, why?” Laura sighed, frustrated.

“I’ll tell you what,” Carmilla said, “There’s like seven weeks left in the semester, just stick it out okay. And if you still feel like transferring out next semester you can.”

Laura was giving her an annoyed look while she thought for a moment, “Fine. But don’t rip my head off if I accidentally look at you or something.”

“Just stop acting like I’m the worst person in the world okay? I’m just thinking about your education.” Carmilla said.

“Yeah whatever,” Laura rolled her eyes before she walked out of the room. So it turns out maybe they do have little more in common than she previously thought.

* * *

 

Towards the end of November, Laura hadn’t let up on the angry five year old act. She barely participated in class and avoided looking at her at all costs. She shouldn’t be so worried about this but it was actually kind of causing a pang in her chest every time she would see her look away when her gaze would land on her or just her not looking at her at all.

A smile barely crossed her face unless she was talking to Danny. Even then it barely seemed to reach her eyes. Maybe Carmilla underestimated how much of a crush the girl actually had on her.

“Laura,” Carmilla said, just loud enough to get her attention. She looked up, “Can I see you after class?”

That earned a few ‘ohhhh’s which she quickly shut up, “Shut the hell up, assholes.” She said sternly, making LaFontaine laugh. Carmilla tried not to chuckle. It was her fault she was acting like that but hearing her actually say something like that was a little humorous to be honest.

It seemed like it took forever for the bell to ring but it finally did. She walked over to her desk, “What?” She asked.

“Are you ever going to stop hating me?” Carmilla asked.

Laura scoffed, “What makes you think I hate you?”

“Oh, I don’t know, probably the shitty attitude you’ve had in class since the last time we had a little talk.” Carmilla said.

“You know, you are very presumptuous and possibly a little too narcissistic, what makes you think my attitude has anything to do with you?” Laura asked.

“I just assumed-“

“Yeah, you assumed. You know what they always say about that, it makes an ass out of you and me. I think that’s been made very clear. For both of us.” She interrupted her. She doesn’t recall ever seeing Laura so feisty. She almost likes this side of her.

“Excuse me for thinking it had anything to do with me since you’ve been indifferent, unparticipating, and dare I say a little _broody_ ever since I put an end to that little ‘flirtationship’ we had going on.” Carmilla said.

Laura snorted, “Flirtationship? Really? That’s what you’re going to call it.”

“Calling it anything else would be a little inappropriate don’t you think?” Carmilla asked, raising an eyebrow, “Nothing even happened.”

“Nothing even happened, okay so you ‘unintentionally’ lead me on for _weeks_ and-“

“I’m not having this conversation again.” Carmilla interrupted her.

Laura sighed and flailed out her hands a little like she didn’t know what to say.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Carmilla said, “Do you think I really like seeing you moping around during class when you used to be way too excited to be here and answer every single question I asked at eight in the morning? Do you really think I like seeing you do everything you can to ignore my existence? Hanging out in my room during lunch isn’t really the best thing in the world anymore either.”

Laura just looked at her and still didn’t say anything.

“Look, regardless of whatever you or I thought was going on here, it still feels like I lost a friend during this whole thing. I know I shouldn’t feel like that because I’m not here to make friends with my students but…” Carmilla added, a little quieter, “It’s not easy on me either.”

“I’m sorry,” Laura finally spoke, “I just…I guess after what you said I didn’t think it would matter to you. But I mean, if you weren’t lying about how you felt about me I guess it would still feel pretty sucky.”

Carmilla just nodded.

“Okay, I’m gonna go to class,” Laura spoke again, “Have a good day.”

“You too.”

* * *

 

“Knock knock,” Carmilla heard, followed by footsteps towards her desk. She looked over and saw Laura slowly walking into the room, “I um-is this still okay?”

No.

“Yeah.” Carmilla answered quietly. Laura gave her a small smile and grabbed her usual chair, but put it across from her desk instead of next to her.

“I really want to apologize for acting like…a child, for the last few weeks.” Laura said, digging in her bag and pulling out some brownies, setting them on her desk.

Carmilla chuckled as she looked down at them, “If these are your peace offering then I accept your apology.”

Laura smiled and looked down, “And for calling you a bitch.”

Carmilla laughed this time, “I deserved that, its fine.”

Laura snorted, “I’m still sorry.”

They sat quietly for a moment while Carmilla grabbed a brownie and began munching on it.

“You have Kirsch in one of your classes right?” Laura asked.

“The beefcake that refuses to acknowledge your existence if you call him Brody, yeah,” Carmilla said and Laura snorted, “Why?”

“We’re pretty good friends actually, he mentioned to me one day that when he came up to ask you something he saw you drawing a turtle with a shark fin sweater on,” Laura started and Carmilla hummed, waiting for her to continue, “So, I was just wondering…if you maybe were drawing Clyde?”

Carmilla snorted, “He watches Elementary?”

“No,” Laura laughed, “He just thought it was funny that you were drawing that. I do though.”

“Really,” Carmilla said and Laura nodded, “I sort of pegged you as a Sherlock kinda girl.”

Laura pulled a face, “No way, that show is way too misogynistic for my taste. Plus it doesn’t have Lucy Liu,” She said, “Do you have it with you?”

Carmilla laughed, “Very true, have you been keeping up with it?” She asked as she dug through her bag for her sketchbook.

Laura sighed, “Not this season, I kept forgetting it was on and then I got behind and now I have a lot to watch and I just…you know,” She explained and Carmilla nodded, “I do know about Kitty though, she’s cute.” Carmilla found it and handed to her.

“Aw, it’s so cute!” Laura added as she looked over it.

“Thanks,” Carmilla grinned, “Well would you like me to fill you in?”

Laura smiled, “Yeah sure! I can’t believe you watch it.” She said as she handed it back to her.

Carmilla just shook her head and went on a long, detailed explanation of what has gone on this season so far. Saying she watched it would be kind of an understatement, it was one of her favorite shows. Laura, surprisingly, let Carmilla do most of the talking, only interrupting here and there to ask a few questions. Not a lot has gone on this season but she somehow managed to end up talking about it through the entire lunch period.

The bell rang and Laura frowned, “Thanks for filling me in,” She said, “I might try to catch up with it over Thanksgiving Break.”

“You should,” Carmilla said, “Just so I don’t have to keep telling you what happens.

Laura laughed, “It didn’t seem to bother you that much.”

Carmilla just shrugged.

“So…” Laura started off as she stood up and scooted the chair back to its spot, “It’s okay if I start coming in during lunch again?”

“Are you sure you want to?” Carmilla asked.

“I-yeah,” Laura said, “I mean…I still, you know, but…I kinda miss talking to you and stuff. Like, all that other stuff aside. If you don’t want me to its fine, I understand.”

“No, its fine,” Carmilla said, despite herself, “I mean…I didn’t come here to make friends, especially with my students but…”

Laura smiled, “I know.” She said before she started towards the door.

“Have a good day, Laura.” Carmilla said.

Laura looked over her shoulder before she walked out the door, “You too.”

Carmilla looked at the doorway, even after she was gone, and just thought for a moment. It’s been a couple of weeks since they’ve spoken without spitting out harsh words at each other. Well, Laura spitting them out to her. She thinks this will be okay.

* * *

 

The next time Laura came in at lunch after Thanksgiving Break she asked Carmilla about the other shows she watched. She explained that she doesn’t watch a lot of TV but other than Elementary she likes Orphan Black, American Horror Story, How to Get Away With Murder, Lost Girl and some of those trashy reality TV shows.

So they talk a lot about Orphan Black and Lost Girl since Laura watches those too. Laura likes a _ton_ of TV shows and Carmilla thinks it’s no wonder she kept forgetting about Elementary being on. She also likes a few reality TV shows. Mostly the Kardashian shows and Total Divas. Because her dad likes wrestling and she thinks the girls are hot.

After they made their way through talks about TV shows they went through music. Carmilla is absolutely appalled that Laura likes One Direction and Taylor Swift and the likes of them. Laura thinks she’s a giant dork for liking classical stuff and at the same time liking bands like Fall Out Boy.

Eventually, after having discussed their likes and dislikes, they made their way to talking about themselves. They’ve spent a majority of the last few weeks getting to know what each other _is_ _like_ but never really anything _about_ them. At this point they were a lot more comfortable talking to each other than they had been before they even had that little falling out. Laura went into a little more detail about her “jerk face ex-boyfriend” and told her about how Kirsch caught him on a date with some other girl while they were still dating and ended up punching him in the face the next day at football practice.

And how Kirsch came over with her favorite take out almost every day after school after she broke up with him to try to help cheer her up. He even watched Glee marathons with her. Season one and two only. Once they made it through season two he wanted to start season three and she then went on a long winded rant about why the show sucked so bad after season two. Which she didn’t just _say,_ she felt the need to repeat it to Carmilla.

Carmilla then asked why she kept watching it if she hated it so much and then she received an even longer winded rant about that.

After being fairly certain she lost a few years of her life listening to that, in an attempt to distract her from ever talking about Glee again, Carmilla asked, “So you and Kirsch are pretty close?”

Laura nodded, “My dad is friends with his dad so we’ve known each other for a while,” She explained, “He actually hangs out with us at lunch sometimes too, the days when I’m not in here. I don’t know about the days when I’m not there, he and Danny don’t really get along,” She laughs, “But yeah, I’d maybe even say we’re better friends than Danny and I are.”

“I never would’ve guessed you’d be friends with him,” Carmilla said, “He’s so…he’s just like a giant puppy.”

Laura laughed, “He’s sweet.”

Carmilla was glad she had a guy like Kirsch in her life. Someone to watch out for her and stuff. Not that she needed it, apparently her dad forced her into a bunch of self-defense type classes so she was pretty sure she could handle herself. But just, things like that. Having someone to be there for her like he’s always been.

Carmilla is also glad her ex was a year older and no longer went to school or had her class because she’s not entirely sure she wouldn’t find any reason she could to fail the asshole. He took advantage of her and used her and she’s almost disgusted to think about the fact that Laura…did _things_ with him because she thought she was in love with him and he pretended to be in love with her too. Laura of course didn’t outright admit this to her but it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together.

Putting that aside, Carmilla ended up telling her, amongst other things, a little bit about her parents and Will and how he was practically her brother. Laura seemed a little upset about that tidbit of her past but she didn’t push any further on it which she was thankful for. Knowing Laura she would’ve asked 900 questions, 899 of them being ones she shouldn’t have. Over the last couple of weeks she must’ve have caught on to certain things that told her whether or not she was actually comfortable talking about something.

By the time finals week rolled along they _had_ gotten to know each other a lot better. And thankfully, Laura laid off the innuendos and flirting more and more as the days went by. She had a few moments though.

_During_ finals week, Carmilla was going crazy. They had a few closings due to snow the week prior and Monday and Tuesday had delays. Technically there was enough time for the test but she knows how damn long some students ended up taking. Plus she had to get them all graded by Friday at 4 so she could get their final grades on time. Laura, also thankfully, must’ve spent her lunches that week studying with her friends or just giving her time to actually do her teachery duties without any distractions.

She managed to keep up with her Tuesday/Thursday classes and already had their final grades ready to turn in. She had one class that needed to take their test after lunch Friday and then she needed to get those graded and the final grades done and she would be done for the semester. Thank god.

Laura did walk in during lunch on Friday though, “Are you busy?” She was actually just taking a reading break.

She put her book down after she marked her page and shook her head, “Nope, are you?”

Laura chuckled, “No. Sorry I’ve been MIA, I actually needed to study a lot.”

“I’ve been busy too,” Carmilla said, “Don’t need to study for the rest of the day?”

Laura shook her head, “It’s just English and Psychology.”

Carmilla just nodded and Laura brought the chair over, as she has done so many times, and sat down. Next to her.

“So, did you get ours graded? How’d I do?” She asked, her eyes scanning over the desk for any traces of their grades.

“How do you think you did?” Carmilla asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A+?” Laura asked, biting her lip anxiously.

Carmilla snorted, “Not quite.” She actually did very well. B+. Which left her final grade an A-. But she technically wasn’t supposed to disclose the information before the report cards were out.

“A?”

“Laura…”

“B?” She asked, sounding a little worried now.

“I’m not supposed to tell you.” Carmilla finally said.

“Oh my god did I fail?” Laura asked, her eyes widening.

“You didn’t-you did great okay, not an A+ but not bad either.” Carmilla said.

Laura let out a sigh of relief, “Oh good, why didn’t you just say so?” She asked, backhanding her arm lightly.

Carmilla shrugged, “Its funny watching you slowly freak out.”

Laura scoffed, “That’s rude.”

“Sorry, cutie,” Carmilla said and Laura looked at her for a moment. She may or may not have still been using those nicknames with her every once in a while, “So, do you have any plans for the break?”

“Um-no,” Laura said, looking away finally, “I mean, we’re going to my grandma’s for a big family dinner on Christmas Eve but…nothing super special.”

“Does she live out of state?”

Laura shook her head, “She actually lives like three streets away from us,” She chuckled, “What about you? Do you have any plans?”

Carmilla shook her head too, “Will wants me to come out and stay with him for a few days while he stays with his family.”

“Are you going to?”

“I might,” Carmilla said, “I don’t really have anyone else to spend the holidays with so…”

Laura frowned, “You should go then. Has it been awhile since he’s seen you? He probably misses you.”

“We talk a lot but yeah, it’s been awhile.” Carmilla said.

“You should go,” Laura said again, “I’d hate to think about you being all alone while I’m with my family.”

“Then don’t think about it.” Carmilla chuckled.

Laura gave her a look, “How could I not? You know me.”

“I know, I know,” Carmilla said, “I’ll go.”

“Text him right now and tell him so I know you’re not just saying that to appease me.” Laura demanded.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her, “Seriously?”

Laura nodded and looked at her phone sitting next to her keyboard, “Seriously.”

Carmilla pursed her lips but picked it up and opened their conversation.

_C: If it’s still cool with you guys, I’ll come stay for a few days._

She pressed send and waited for it to go through before she turned her screen to Laura for her to see. It vibrated in her hand as Laura smiled.

_W: Of course! Can’t wait to see you!_

“See, he misses you.” Laura said.

“Yeah yeah.” Carmilla said as she locked her phone and put it back down.

They sat silently for a moment, Laura looking like she was trying to find the courage to say something. She finally does.

“Are you still adverse to the phone number thing?” She blurted out, Carmilla gave her a confused look, “I mean, the break is like a little over two weeks long and I just…you know.”

“Aw, are you gonna miss me too? Carmilla teased and Laura just glared at her.

She doesn’t really think this is the best idea in the world but, she’d be lying if she said she wouldn’t miss her too.

“Get out your phone.” She said and Laura beamed.

She dug it out of her bag, “Really?”

Carmilla told her her number and she texted it to make sure it was the actual number.

“Do you really think at this point I would lie to you?” Carmilla laughed.

“Never know.” Laura chuckled with a shrug.

The bell rang, interrupting them.

“I’ll uh, I’ll text you sometime,” Laura smiled as she stood up, “Have a nice break, Miss Karnstein.”

“You too, Laura,” Carmilla smiled.

* * *

 

She didn’t get a text until Christmas Eve.

_L: Hey :)_

Carmilla wasn’t sure why she was surprised but she was.

_C: Hey. Don’t tell me you’re ignoring your family in favor of texting me._

_L: I might be. We already ate. Everyone is opening presents now._

_C: Get anything good?_

_L: No :( A little bit of money from my grandma and my aunts. That’s it. The kids are getting a lot of stuff though_

_C: You don’t classify as a kid anymore? You still have a month left._

_L: LOL I stopped classifying as a kid at 16_

_C: Sounds like a sucky deal_

_L: It is  
L: How’s it going over there?_

Carmilla was actually sitting on the couch in the living room by herself watching the news. Will was out getting some stuff for dinner before all the stores closed and his mom was preparing what they already had.

_C: Just watching tv right now_

_L: What?_

_C: The news. So much happiness on Christmas Eve._

_L: I can practically hear your sarcasm from here_

_C: You know me so well_

_L: :)  
L: Ugh, I’m being summoned to help clean up everything. I’ll talk to you later?_

_C: Have fun, cupcake :)_

The next time she got a text was the next morning.

_L: Merry Christmas :)_

Carmilla smiled.

_C: Merry Christmas_

Laura actually didn’t text her as much as she had anticipated. She thought maybe she might be a little anxious about annoying her or something. On New Year’s Eve she sent the first text.

_C: Any fun plans tonight?_

_L: Kirsch is having a party. I guess I’m going with Laf and Perry. What about you?_

_C: Hanging out with Will and his mom B)_

_L: LOL, I knew you were a dork_

Carmilla scoffed to herself.

_C: Whatever, I told you I’m not a social butterfly. Parties aren’t really my thing.  
C: Speaking of, be careful_

_L: I will :) We’re actually leaving soon so, I’ll talk to you later yeah?  
L: Maybe like later later if it’s boring_

_C: Sounds good, cutie. Have fun._

Carmilla had quite a few beers over the course of the night. She and Will kept making fun of everyone singing on Ryan Seacrest’s show and everyone that was actually there. She’s actually always wanted to go see the ball drop but it’s always so fucking cold and there are so many people there. She imagines she’d end up hating it rather than enjoying it. So she happily opts to watch it in the comforts of her own home. Or someone’s home.

Around 11:55 her phone vibrates.

_L: You ecxited about the new year???_

_C: 2014 wasn’t the best, so yeah. You?_

_L: Idk I met you so it wasnt so bad.  
L: But yes! I’m alwys pumped for a new yaer!!_

11:57. Carmilla chuckled. Laura doesn’t usually make typos. She must’ve been drinking a little.

_C: Have you been drinking, cutie?_

_L: …Mayve a few_

Carmilla snorted. She imagines a drunk Laura is a very entertaining Laura.

_C: How many is a few?_

_L: IDk like 5 maybe_

_C: Laura please be careful_

_L: I am! Perry dosent drink so shes takign care of us :)_

11:59

_C: Ok…_

_L:It’s almost time!_

_C: Can’t wait_

_L: :P  
L: I wish I was there tho_

_C: I’ve always wanted to go too_

_L: No. I mean with you._

Carmilla’s breath kind of catches in her throat. She must just be saying that because she’s drunk. She hasn’t said anything remotely…more than friendly in a while.

_C: Why? Aren’t you having fun?_

12:00

_L: I’d be having more fun kissing you right now instaed of watchign everyone else kiss who they liek  
L: Happy new year :)_

Yeah, happy fucking new year. Will glances over at her when he noticed she didn’t shout “happy new year!” with them.

“You good over there?” He asked. She glanced over at him.

“Yeah.”

“Who are you texting? Your girlfriend?” He teased, “Why didn’t you invite her over?”

“Shut up.” She said and he just smirked before taking a shot of whiskey.

_C: Happy new year, Laura_

_L: Did you kiss Will lol_

_C: Ew no_

_L: Kircsh kissed my cheek  
L: How boring_

Carmilla snorted.

_C: I’m gonna go and let you have fun, ok? Be careful._

_L: :( ok_  
L: Goodnihgt ;)  
L: Oops I didn’t mean to wink at you :)

Carmilla shook her head and put her phone on the table next to the couch and took the bottle Will just drank from, taking a shot herself.

The next day Laura texted her again.

_L: I’m so sorry about last night._

Carmilla stares at her phone for a second, not really knowing how to respond.

_C: It’s ok_

_L: No its not, I crossed the line again and I shouldn’t have._

_C: its fine, I promise. You were drinking its cool._

_L: That’s not why I said it though…_  
L: I mean I was kinda drunk but I remember everything that happened  
L: So it wasn’t just like…a drunk text or whatever

Carmilla sighed. Even if she didn’t mean to send it in any state of mind, drunk words are honest words. She didn’t need to hear, or read, that Laura wants to kiss her. She definitely did not need to think about that happening. But it might have anyway. She should have known Laura wasn’t actually getting over her and she should’ve been more aware of the fact that the more she got to know Laura, the more she started to actually _like_ her too.

Before it was sort of like…some weird attraction she couldn’t quite explain. Mostly physical she assumed. Which she thought should be a little weird all things considered. But now she actually knows her. At least a little more than she did then.

_L: So I’m sorry._

_C: Laura, it is fine. Don’t worry about it._

_L: I don’t want you to make things weird between us again._

_C: That’s not going to happen_

_L: How do you know?_

_C: Because I do  
C: If I had an issue with it I would tell you. You should know that._

_L: I guess_

Carmilla knew Laura was probably way more concerned about this than need be. Considering the way things were now though she wasn’t exactly sure why _she_ wasn’t freaking out.

Maybe it’s because she had wished she was there too.

_C: So did you have fun?_

_L: I guess…could’ve been better_

_C: Did it suck?_

_L: Kinda. Mostly because of what I’ve profusely apologized for._

_C: I swear to god, Laura_

_L: No I mean…I always get bummed out on New Year’s because I never have anyone to kiss.  
L: I mean…people kiss randoms all the time I guess but…I only wanna do it with someone I really care about._

Someone she really cares about.

_C: Me too_

_L: What about your night?_

_C: Could’ve been better_

_L: Boring?_

_C: You could say that_

_L: :(  
L: I’ll let you go now. I just wanted to apologize. _

_C: Ok, have a good day_

_L: You too :)_

She didn’t get another text from her for the rest of the break.

She walked into the classroom Monday morning with a smile on her face, setting her stuff at her desk and walking over to Carmilla.

“Good morning.” She beamed.

“Good morning.” Carmilla smiled back at her. Laura just kind of looked at her for a minute and Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her, “You good there, cupcake?”

Laura nodded quickly, “Yeah I just, yeah.”

“Are you sure?” Carmilla chuckled.

“I just,” Laura started, “Missed you. Kind of.” She said quickly.

“Me too.” Carmilla admitted quietly.

Laura bit back another smile, “Yeah?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Carmilla rolled her eyes, trying to play it off.

“Sure sure, Miss Karnstein.” Laura said, giving her another smile before walking back to her desk and talking to the ginger squad. As she has so ‘affectionately’ coined them.

She clicked through her email as she waited for class to start and when the bell rang she let out a sigh. One semester down, one more to go.

* * *

 

“So when is your birthday?” Carmilla asked that Friday.

“The 27th,” Laura answered as she finished her homework, “Why?”

“Just wondering.” Carmilla said.

Laura hummed, “Gonna get me anything?” She shot her a smirk.

“If I got you a birthday present, I would have to give everyone a birthday present,” Carmilla said, “However I may start a new birthday tradition for my classroom.”

“Oh god,” Laura looked up at her, “What?”

Carmilla shrugged, “Well, it’ll have to be a surprise.”

Laura pursed her lips and tilted her head at her, “I swear if you do something embarrassing to me I’m never speaking to you again, I’m dropping your class, and you’ll never see me again.”

“Are you trying to convince me?” Carmilla smirked.

Laura scoffed, “You’re so rude.”

“I like to think its part of my charm.” Carmilla said proudly.

“A lot of things are a part of your charm, that is definitely not one of them.” Laura rolled her eyes.

“Care to elaborate?” Carmilla smirked.

“ _No.”_ Laura said, turning back to her homework.

Okay, she might have been lying. She might be getting her something for her birthday. Or making something…whatever.

Carmilla just smiled and shook her head.

Laura bounded into the classroom Tuesday morning, all smiles as she immediately walked to Carmilla’s desk.

“Happy birthday,” Carmilla smiled back at her, “You feel any older?”

Laura snorted, “No.”

Carmilla hummed, “Any plans?”

“Not today,” Laura said, “Saturday the gang is gonna hang out. It's a surprise for me though so…I’m a little afraid.”

Carmilla laughed, “Are they all eighteen yet?” Laura just shook her head, “I think you'll be safe then.”

“Maybe.” Laura said, shifting her weight to her other foot.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her and pulled open her desk drawer, pulling out a pink envelope and handing it to her.

Laura beamed as she took the card from her and opened it, reading it.

“So _I'm_ your favorite student huh?” She asked as she put the card back in the envelope and into her bag.

“Maybe,” Carmilla grinned, “Don’t tell though.”

Laura shook her head, “Thank you, this was sweet.”

“There’s more,” Carmilla said and Laura gave her a questioning look, “But you have to come in after school to get it.”

Laura narrowed her eyes but agreed to. Not without saying, “I thought you weren't getting me anything.”

“Technically I didn't.” Carmilla said.

Laura blinked at her, “Okay…Well, I'll see you then, then.” She smiled before walking to her seat.

Carmilla is pretty sure Laura may have been hanging outside her room waiting for all the students from her last class to leave because as soon as the last one left, she walked in with the door falling shut behind her and nearly skipped to Carmilla’s desk.

“Someone’s excited.” Carmilla said as she gathered everything into her bag.

“I’ve been wondering all day what it could be,” Laura started, “I mean, what’s the protocol for this kind of stuff? It’s obviously nothing expensive so that narrows it down a little bit but then like-“

“Laura,” Carmilla interrupted her rambling as she stood up, “Close your eyes…and turn around.”

Laura bounced a little but did as she told with a smile plastered on her face. Carmilla reached under her desk where she had it hidden all day and sat it on the chalkboard tray before stepping over to stand next to Laura.

The ‘it’ being what Carmilla had worked on the majority of the weekend after she found the perfect picture for reference. Laura mentioned during one of the few times she spoke about her mother that when she was alive, she and her dad would take her to Niagara Falls every summer. Ever since her mom passed away and she got older and couldn’t get the cheaper children’s tickets for stuff anymore, her dad couldn’t really afford to go. Laura had insisted she didn’t need to do any of the activities they needed to pay for but, her dad still didn’t want to do it. Which she kind of understood.

It was something she always looked forward to, especially seeing it lit up at nighttime. And it was something that gave her some of the best memories of her mom and her family being together.

So she found the best picture she could of The American Side lit up at night with pinks and blues. And painted it.

She was a little afraid to show her though. She didn’t know how she was going to react or if she was going to like it.

“Turn around but keep your eyes closed.” Carmilla said and Laura turned around, her eyes closed tightly as she continued smiling.

“You’re making me nervous just let me see!” She exclaimed.

“Fine,” Carmilla said, “Go ahead and look.” And Laura’s eyes flew open immediately and landed on the painting in front of her.

Her smile was replaced with her opening and closing her mouth a couple of times as she stepped forward to get a closer look, “Oh my god.” She finally said quietly.

Carmilla stood in the same spot behind her, her hands behind her back as she watched Laura look it over.

“You painted this?” She asked, not turning around.

“Yeah.” Carmilla answered quietly.

Laura silently looked over it for at least another two minutes before she turned around and looked at Carmilla with watery eyes.

“Thank you so much,” She said, launching forward and wrapping Carmilla up in a hug, “It’s beautiful.” She mumbled into her shoulder.

Carmilla hesitated for a moment before wrapping her arms around the smaller girl, “You’re welcome, cupcake.” She said quietly. Laura continued to hug her and she felt the slight tremble of her shoulders from crying. She rubbed her back with one hand and figured it was a little less about the painting now and a little more about something else.

She finally pulled back and wiped at her eyes, turning away from Carmilla fast, “I’m sorry.” She said quickly.

“You don’t need to apologize.” Carmilla said softly.

Laura sniffled and shook her head, “This was her favorite view. We talked dad into going to the Canadian side to see it better at night one year. I just-it’s beautiful, she would’ve loved this.”

“I remember you told me you missed going there and all the happy memories so I just thought maybe you’d like having something like this for your room.” Carmilla shrugged.

“That’s sweet.” Laura said quietly, turning to look at her again.

“No biggie.” Carmilla chuckled quietly.

Laura shook her head with a soft smile, “So you gave me a present, are you gonna start painting stuff for the rest of the class now? I mean you did say…” She said, trying to lighten the mood a little now.

Carmilla snorted and looked down, shaking her head, “Just you.”

“Well that doesn’t seem very fair,” She started out, “It’s almost like you _are_ picking favorites.”

“You _are_ my favorite,” Carmilla said softly, looking up again, “You saw the card.”

Laura chuckled and nodded, “Yeah,” she said, inching a little closer, “And I won’t tell.” And Carmilla was suddenly very aware of how close that actually was when she saw the speckles in her brown eyes and caught a wiff of that stupid body spray and-

Those eyes she was looking into flickered to her lips and back up and she subconsciously licked them before mimicking the action. Her brain was telling her to step back and leave or make her leave or something but she couldn’t move. She was just stuck staring at her.

In hindsight maybe a gift like this wasn't the best idea considering how thin the line of their 'friendship' is. 

Also in hindsight she thinks she might have known that the whole time.

After a moment, when Laura realized she wasn't going to say or do anything, she brought her hands to Carmilla’s face and pulled her in for a kiss.

Carmilla sucked in a quick breath in surprise and moved her hands around at her side, not knowing what to do with them. She needed to push her away, she needed take a step back, she needed to not being doing this but she found herself kissing her back and wanting to pull her closer but before she even knew what happened, Laura pulled her face back and looked at her for a long moment.

“I’m gonna go now.” She said quickly, sounding a little breathless as she pulled back her hands and took a step back.

Carmilla let out the breath she had taken in what seemed like _minutes_ ago and she just silently nodded. Laura hesitated a moment before picking up her bag and slinging it over her shoulder before grabbing her painting.

“Thanks again.” She said quickly with a smile before walking out of the room.

Carmilla stood there for another moment before finally moving and making her way to her chair again, flopping down in it with a sigh.

She was so fucking screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize if this chapter seemed rushed at all but i ended up wanting to give them a little more time before anything happened and in order to do that i would've had to have written like 100000000 words or do it like this so...i didn't wanna separate it into a bunch of smallerish chapters. but i still hope you enjoy :)


	3. Fearless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which some more talking and feeings happen. unfortunate appearances by danny accompanied by more sassy teacher carmilla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> laura gets pretty gross just fyi

Carmilla spent the majority of the rest of the day Tuesday and the first half of Wednesday doing everything she could to not think about what happened before Laura left.

           

The key word there was _trying._

Part of her was obviously freaking out. Her student Laura had kissed her and she _kissed her back._ What if someone had seen them? What if they did and what if they told someone?

 

The other part of her was…happy?

 

No, happy isn't the right word.

 

But the thing is she admittedly _enjoyed_ it. And maybe she wanted to kiss her. Maybe it was a fleeting thought in her mind whenever this whole thing started and maybe that _‘maybe’s_ meaning increased a little bit throughout December when they got to know each other so well.

 

Maybe that's about how Laura felt too.

 

She wouldn't know though. Laura didn't come into lunch Wednesday and she hasn't texted her or anything. Carmilla briefly considered texting her but what would she even say?

 

_Hey why aren't you talking to me? Is it because you kissed me?_

_Hey so about Tuesday…_

_Hey you really shouldn't have kissed me but you probably know that since you're avoiding me…_

_Hey so I really liked kissing you, you don't need to keep avoiding me._

_Hey…_

 

So she decided against it. But when she didn't show up then, she spent the rest of Wednesday wondering what Laura must've been thinking.

 

Thursday she didn't say anything in class. Carmilla kind of wanted to talk about it but she guessed since _Laura_ kissed _her_ and she was the one seemingly avoiding her she'd just…let her come to her when she felt like it.

 

But it turned out she wasn't going to have to wait as long as she thought.

 

She had been outside aggressively resisting the urge to ask for a smoke from the English teacher standing a few feet away from where she sat on a bench. She started a few months into college when she was super stressed about finals and finally kicked the habit after she graduated.

 

Right now she was pretty stressed and could use it. But she still refrained herself. So sitting in the cold for a few minutes during her free period into lunch seemed like a good idea. But it was colder than she thought it would be.

 

So after a few minutes she went back in and opened the door to her room, closing it behind her and rubbing her hands up and down her arms as she turned around. She almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Laura sitting in her chair, spinning it around.

 

She stopped when she saw her standing there, “Oh hey, I didn't mean to scare you,” She said quietly, “I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come in or just leave yourself to freeze out there.”

 

Carmilla shrugged, “I needed to clear my head.”

 

“Did it work?”

 

“No.” Carmilla answered. Laura just stared at her for a moment.

 

“I've been afraid of how you were going to react to seeing me after what happened the other day,” Laura started slowly, “Are you mad?”

 

“Why do you think I need to clear my head?” Carmilla asked.

 

“So you are.” Laura said, tapping her hand against the desk and looking down.

 

“I'm not, actually,” Carmilla started and Laura looked back up, “That's the problem.”

 

“Oh…” Laura nodded slowly.

 

Carmilla stood there for another moment and looked down at the floor. Laura didn't say anything else, “So what are you doing here?”

 

“I thought we should talk.” Laura answered.

 

Carmilla nodded.

 

“And if you're looking for an apology you're not gonna get one,” Laura said and Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her, “I’m not sorry for kissing you. I _am_ sorry for screwing up whatever we had but…I've wanted to do it for a while so…”

 

“I wasn't looking for one actually…but okay.” Carmilla said hesitantly. She didn't know where exactly this was going.

 

Laura glanced down at her hands in her lap, “So, you're not mad though.”

 

Carmilla just shrugged and shook her head.

 

“Why not?” Laura asked.

 

Carmilla silently repeated the action.

 

Laura chewed on the inside of her cheek while she looked at her, “Really.”

 

“I don't know what you want me to say.” Carmilla said.

 

“I'm trying to figure out where you stand here.” Laura answered, sounding a little aggravated.

 

“You know where I stand, Laura.” Carmilla sighed.

 

Laura huffed and rolled her eyes, “You're still gonna play that card?”

 

“We've discussed this several times.”

 

“Yeah and I'm eighteen now.” Laura pointed out.

 

“Congratulations, you're still my student.” Carmilla retorted.

 

“I'll drop your class, I don't need it anyway.” Laura said.

 

“I am still a teacher at your school, Laura, you're a smart girl why can I not get this through your head?” Carmilla raised her voice a little in frustration.

 

“Because I like you! I don't care about that!” Laura said, standing up now.

 

“Other people do, the school does and the law does. How would you feel if I got fired for this? Or arrested?” She asked and Laura just gave her a look, “Watch the news every once in a while. You see shit like this happen all the time, it doesn't matter if you're eighteen.”

 

“I'm a legal, consenting adult. Actually I have been, turns out the age of consent in New York is seventeen.” Laura said stubbornly.

 

“Oh my god, you are _so_ frustrating!” Carmilla exclaimed, flailing her hands a little, “Everything was fine the way it was, why are you doing this again?”

 

“Because I can't keep doing _this_ ,” Laura said, “I like you way more than you probably think I do and I thought I would be okay settling for being your friend rather than nothing at all but, I just _can't_ anymore.”

 

“Seriously?” Carmilla asked a little incredulously.

 

Laura nodded and looked at the desk where she was playing with the corner of a piece of paper, “If you don't want this then I'll stop bothering you. One hundred percent done. For good.”

 

“Laura…” Carmilla started and Laura just shook her head and walked over to stand in front of her, looking her in the eye.

 

“Before you say anything I want you to think long and hard about everything that’s happened, especially the last two months,” She said quietly, “I don't care what your morals are telling you right now, think about how you actually feel and look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me. That you don't want this.” She demanded, her voice cracking a little.

 

Carmilla stared back into her unwavering, progressively glistening eyes but didn't say anything.

 

Laura bounced on her heels for a moment before finally breaking the silence, “Fine,” She said, “You can't say it because you know it's not true. You can't tell me you don't feel something here. And you can't tell me this isn't what you really want when you freaking kissed me back and aren't even mad about it!”

 

Carmilla silently started chewing on the corner of her lip.

 

Laura shook her head, “Congratulations, you managed to ruin the possibility of a relationship _and_ a friendship for the sake of making sure you maintain your ‘morals’ and look good to everyone else.” She nearly spat out as she shoved passed her towards the door.

 

“I'm not the one ruining a friendship here.” Carmilla pointed out angrily.

 

Laura stopped no further than a few feet away from her, “Whatever,” Laura said, not turning around, “I’m gonna walk away and as soon as I'm out that door I’m done. I'm giving you the chance to choose between what you think you want and what you actually want.” She started walking slowly to the door and Carmilla watched her, sucking her entire lower lip in between her teeth now.

 

She shifted her weight back and forth between her feet and looked up at the ceiling. She knows Laura isn't kidding this time. If she lets her walk out the door, she's done. Completely. For good.

 

Which is what she wants…In theory. It _should be_ what she wants. But everything inside of her was screaming at her to stop her from walking out of the room. She didn’t even know why but she just did _not_ like the thought of not having her in her life anymore.

 

Laura is still inching towards the door and Carmilla sighs. Laura glances around at her once she was standing in front of it. Carmilla was chewing at her top lip now and Laura closed her eyes and turned back around reaching for the doorknob and opening it.

 

_God damn it._

“Laura.” Carmilla said just loud enough for Laura to hear and she paused.

 

“You don't need to explain yourself for the nine hundredth time okay I-“ She sucked in a breath when Carmilla was suddenly in her space, grabbing the doorknob and pulling it closed again, “Understand.” She finally breathed out.

 

“What are you doing?” She asked when Carmilla didn't say anything.

 

Carmilla shrugged, “Stopping you from walking out the door.” Carmilla whispered.

 

A tiny grin played on the edge of Laura’s lips, “You sure?”

 

“I'm not…I’m not really sure of anything anymore. I just, I know that I don't want you to leave.” Carmilla said.

 

“If you don't want me to, I'm not going anywhere.” Laura reassured her.

 

Carmilla just looked at her for a moment until the bell rang and snapped her out it.

 

“Figuratively,” Laura rolled her eyes, “I need to go to class soon.”

 

Carmilla snorted, “Yeah.”

 

“Hey,” Laura stopped her from backing away, “It's gonna be okay, okay?”

 

She didn't believe her. So much could go wrong if this happened. But she’s almost entirely sure that Laura might be worth the risk. She nodded anyway.

 

Laura gave her a soft smile and leaned up to kiss her cheek, “Do you mind if I come by after school?”

 

“There's actually a faculty meeting after school today,” Carmilla said, “It’s not mandatory but I mean where else would they go.”

 

Laura snorted and nodded, “Okay…I'll just text you later then. I guess.”

 

“Okay.” Carmilla said.

 

Laura put her hand on her arm and leaned up to place another kiss on her cheek, “Have a good day.”

 

“Yeah, you too.” Carmilla smiled softly. Laura squeezed her arm and opened the door, leaving Carmilla standing there for a moment.

 

She saw the hallway filling up with students and went back to her chair and flopped down with a sigh. She can only hope Laura is right.

* * *

 

_L: On a scale of 1-10 how likely is it that you could save me from the birthday outing I'm currently en route to_

_C: Probably like 3_

_C: Why don't you wanna go?_

_L: So there is a tiny chance?_

_L: Apparently we’re going out to eat first. I'm sure some embarrassing birthday song will be forced upon me_

_C: Ohh, send pics :D_

_L: Further my embarrassment by showing you?? If you won't save me I'm afraid I can't do that_

_C: How exactly am I supposed to save you?_

_L: Kidnap me_

_L: Something_

_C: You probably shouldn't make jokes about me kidnapping you_

_L: Seriously_

_L: I'm not a kid_

_C: You could pass as one_

_C: You're pretty tiny_

_L: YOURE LIKE AN INCH TALLER THAN ME_

_L: shut up :P_

Carmilla snorted.

_C: Whatever, cutie_

That's the first time Laura had texted her that weekend. So Carmilla had a little more than 24 hours without a distraction from her to try and make herself feel better about…whatever this was. She had a pretty long list. Of pros and cons. About even.

 

Pros:

Laura is cute.

Very cute.

18!!

Graduating soon.

Easy to talk to.

She makes her smile.

Also cute.

 

Cons:

?????

 

So it kind of evens out since its… _Illegal._

But like…if they don't get caught…it'll be okay right? And it's not like she's some 40 something creepy old guy hooking up with her or anything. In fact, Laura initiated the whole thing and in her defense she tried to fend her off when push came to shove.

 

But she felt so…Connected to her. Kind of. It was hard for her to explain to herself. Like in no world would she have chosen one of her students to like…be someone she would totally open up to like she has started to with Laura but…

 

She makes it so easy and she can tell she actually cares so…

 

It just kind of happened.

 

_L: Don't whatever me. It's true._

_L: Cutie_

_C: I'm not cute_

_L: Yes you are_

_C: No_

_L: ???????_

_L: I said you are so you are_

_C: But I'm not_

_L: Why???_

_L: Are you too cool to be cute or something?_

_C: Maybe_

_L: Ugh_

_L: We’re at the stupid Mexican place now so I'll text you later_

_C: Have fun :))_

Carmilla distracted herself by finding a movie to rent on her TV. That one with Scarlett Johansson, Lucy. About an hour into it, Laura _did_ send her a picture.

 

She opened it and burst into laughter. She was sitting in the corner of a booth with a giant sombrero on her head with a look of something between sadness and annoyance on her face.

 

_C: Now THAT is cute_

Yeah, this girl is just going to keep finding ways to make her fall harder.

_L: Shut up_

_L: I got free ice cream so it's cool…I guess_

_C: Anything for free dessert right?_

_L: Of course :)_

_L: What are you up to?_

_C: Nothing really, just watching that Lucy movie_

_L: Isn't it weird??_

_C: Getting there yeah_

_C: What else do they have planned for you?_

_L: We’re just going bowling lol_

_C: Wild night then lol_

_L: Mhmm_

_L: Are you a good bowler?_

_C: The best ;)_

_L: HAHA so you suck then_

_C: Hey_

_C: Probably better than you_

_L: I'll have you know the last time we went I broke 100_

Carmilla laughed and shook her head. Dork.

 

_C: You do know that's…not good right?_

_L: Carmilla_

_L: Shut up_

_C: Oooh, Carmilla??_

_L: Am I supposed to keep calling you Miss Karnstein??_

_C: Maybe_

_L: Weirdo_

_C: There are worse things to be_

_L: Yeah yeah_

_L: I'm gonna go, idk how long it'll be so l’ll just text you tomorrow if that's ok?_

_C: That's fine, cupcake_

_C: Have fun and be careful_

_L: Ok :) Goodnight_

_C: ‘night, cutie_

She keeps thinking how wrong this should feel but…

 

It just feels so right. Or it would if she would stop stressing out about everything.

 

And Laura was right, this movie is freakin weird.

* * *

 

Laura walked into class Monday with her hair in a ponytail and a black sweater and a plaid skirt and black knee high socks and a smile plastered on her face as she nearly skipped over to Carmilla’s desk.

 

“What are you wearing?” Carmilla asked, trying to keep her eyes on Laura’s.

 

“Oh this?” She asked, raising her arms a little and looking down at herself, “You like?”

 

Carmilla just narrowed her eyes at her.

 

Laura smirked, “Just thought I'd change things up a bit. Would I still pass as a kid now?”

 

Carmilla scoffed, “You're literally ridiculous.”

 

“Thank you.” Laura smiled. Carmilla looked towards the door when she saw Danny walk through. Her eyes immediately landed on Laura, scanning up and down a few times.

 

Carmilla made a face and looked back up at her. Laura gave her a questioning look and glanced behind her, “What?”

 

“Your friend seems to like it.” Carmilla rolled her eyes.

 

“Danny?” Laura asked, “I told you she likes me.”

 

“I thought you were just being annoying.”

 

Laura scoffed, “Have I _ever_ been annoying?”

 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow, “Do you really want me to answer that?”

 

Laura narrowed her eyes, “Whatever,” She said and started to smirk again, “You busy during lunch?”

 

“I have a ton of papers to grade actually.” Carmilla said, gesturing to a large stack of papers on her desk. The latest assignment for her Geography class was a few pages long and currently taking forever to go through.

 

“Oh…” Laura said, sounding a little disappointed, “I could help you…If you wanted.”

 

“Up to you, cupcake.”

 

And of course she decided to come help.

 

“So what can I do?” She asked enthusiastically as she pulled her usual chair to her usual spot.

 

Carmilla placed a stack of papers in front of her and a red pen on top of them, “I made a copy of the answers, the first 5 are little maps which need to be exactly right, the next like seven or whatever are multiple choice which obviously need to be right and the rest are sentences which just need to be along the right lines okay?”

 

Laura nodded and she continued, “The grades are in the corner too.” She tapped her pen against it.

 

“Awesome.” Laura said, flipping through the first one sounding a little less excited.

 

“Very.” Carmilla said sarcastically as she turned her attention to the ones in front of her. She felt Laura staring at her for a moment before she started on hers.

 

After a few minutes Laura started humming. A few minutes after that she started swaying back and forth in her seat. A few minutes after that the humming got a little more intense and she started tapping her pen against the paper. A few minutes after that she still wasn't stopping and Carmilla would almost think it was endearing if it wasn't actually annoyingly distracting.

 

She herself started tapping her pen against her paper anxiously before finally whipping her head towards the younger girl, “Laura!”

 

Laura stopped immediately and looked up, “What?”

 

“Please stop.” Carmilla said.

 

Laura made a face but silently went back to work. Carmilla actually appreciates the silence when she finally has the chance to. Laura obviously doesn't. She began shifting around in her chair and sighing every few minutes. After a particularly loud huff Carmilla turned and looked at her again until she finally looked up.

 

“What?” She asked again.

 

Carmilla gaped at her, “Remember earlier when you asked if you've ever been annoying?”

 

Laura narrowed her eyes, “It's not my fault this is boring.”

 

“Are you forgetting that _you_ volunteered to help?” Carmilla asked.

 

“I didn't know we would actually be grading papers.” Laura said.

 

Carmilla shook her head and pushed her glasses out of the way to squeeze the bridge of her nose, “What else exactly would we be doing?”

 

Laura shrugged and turned Carmilla’s chair to her and stood up. She hesitated for a moment before straddling her lap, “Something fun.”

 

Okay she probably asked for that, honestly. Her arms remained at her sides as Laura’s wrapped loosely around her neck. She bit the inside of her cheek as Laura looked at her. With a lot of intensity.

 

She reached down and grabbed Carmilla’s hands, placing them on her hips, “I don't have cooties or anything, you can touch me you know.” She chuckled.

 

Carmilla left them there but didn't say or do anything else. Laura leaned forward and gave her a tentative kiss. And another and another until Carmilla started kissing her back.

 

“Is this okay?” She asked quietly.

 

Carmilla shook her head but kissed her again anyway.

 

“How do you feel right now?” Laura asked after a few moments, sensing something was up with her.

 

“Nervous.” Carmilla admitted.

 

“About what?” Laura asked.

 

Carmilla sighed and shrugged, “Everything?”

 

“Besides getting caught, what is making you nervous?” Laura asked, leaning back a little bit and moving one of her hands up to play with the hair on the nape of Carmilla’s neck.

 

The sun was shining bright today so the shades of the windows were pulled almost all the way down and literally the whole time Laura has been coming to lunch no one has come into the room to see her for anything. There really wasn't even much reason to be nervous about that at the moment. It was just them.

 

Carmilla just shrugged again, “That you’re a teenager and I shouldn’t feel this way about you regardless of everything else.”

 

Laura tilted her head and looked at her for a moment. Carmilla sighed and moved her hands to her arms for a moment before sliding them down to hold her hands between them. She looked down at them with a sigh, “Are you sure this is actually what you want?” She asked her.

 

“Of course.” Laura said.

 

“Why?”

 

Laura shook her head, “Why?” She repeated, “Because I…ever since I first walked into this classroom and saw you sitting there I thought you were beautiful and I just wanted to talk to you. So I did. And you act so nonchalant about everything but you're actually really nice and funny and sweet and…I don't know.”

 

“I said at the mall that I was drawn to you but it sounded weird because it is weird because I can't explain it I just…I know I'm supposed to be with you. I just…I _feel_ it. And I've never felt that feeling before.” She continued quietly, looking down at their hands as well, “And that's why I was so pushy about this because I didn't wanna throw it away without even giving it a shot.”

 

“And I'm sure I sound like a ridiculously teenage teenager right now.” Laura chuckled.

 

“Kind of,” Carmilla laughed and squeezed her hands, “But I understand.”

 

Part of her just wants to make sure Laura actually wants this. Not the physicality of it, because she’s pretty sure she got that message from the first day she knew her, but just that she feels the same. Carmilla feels like she’s the negative end of a magnet just continuously being drawn to Laura’s positive end and there’s nothing she can do to stop it even if she wanted to.

 

Which in the beginning she did want to. She tried. And she failed. And she feels so weird thinking this about someone so much younger than her.

 

She should be feeling like this with someone her age. Maybe someone a little bit older. She should not be feeling like her other half is the teenage girl currently sitting in her lap telling her the she feels the same pull towards her. Carmilla has definitely never felt this way before either and at a point before now she almost thought she’d never feel this way. And now that she does, she just doesn’t know what to do about it.

 

“Yeah?” Laura asked, looking down at her hopefully.

 

Carmilla nodded.

 

"Then that's what you should focus on right now. Close your eyes" Laura said, scooting a little closer and squeezing her hands, Carmilla raised an eyebrow but did it anyway, “Forget about that stupid law and forget about how young I am…Just, think about us. I mean I’m a little nervous about seeing someone older than me with more experience at like literally everything but…I just think about how you make me smile and laugh and the butterflies I get when you look at me or the ones I get when I’m walking to your classroom or the ones I get when I get a text from you.”

 

Carmilla started chewing on her lower lip to bite back the smile threatening to form on her face. She wants to open her eyes and see the look on Laura’s.

 

“I think about how you told me you’re not very sociable and all that stuff yet you let me see that part of you, anyway” Laura continued, “How you didn’t hesitate to tell me a little about your past and actually let me get to know you. How you seem so terribly indifferent and apathetic about the world yet it’s so easy for me to get you to smile or even laugh and how it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen and heard. I think about how even when we do talk so much we can also sit in the most comfortable silence and just do our own thing, just enjoying each other’s company. I just think about how you make me feel and it just makes everything seem and feel so right, regardless of anything else, even if the law and whoever else thinks otherwise. It just makes everything feel better.”

 

Carmilla knows she pretty much feels all of those things when it came to the younger girl but she realized she never really let herself actually think about it and let it sink in because of everything else going on in her mind. So she lets herself do it now. She forgets about the other stuff plaguing her thoughts and thinks about all the things she loves about Laura and about how she makes her feel. After a moment she opened her eyes again and Laura was still looking at her patiently.

 

“I’m not expecting that to just magically fix everything you know I just, I want you to be as happy as I am. And I can tell you’re not,” Carmilla started to argue but Laura cut her off, “You want to be, but you’re not. Because all the negatives things are deterring you.”

 

“Yeah you’re right.” Carmilla admitted.

 

"I kinda think we know each other well enough to not have to go through the awkward stage, right?” She grinned.

 

Carmilla snorted, “Probably.”

 

“But, that did help a little?” Laura asked.

 

Carmilla smiled, “Yeah.”

 

It did. That’s honestly probably part of what she needed. Just a moment to think about them. Forget about everything else and just think about what they had with each other. Even if it right now all it was just silly butterflies and smiles brought together by some silly connection they seemed to have. It was something. And it was enough for her to maybe realize this really is what they both want.

 

Laura smiled as the bell rang. Then she frowned as she went to stand up, “Just please stop stressing out so much about this okay? You won’t be any good to either of us if you end up having a stroke and dying or something.” She teased.

 

Carmilla snorted, “Okay, thank you.”

 

“Any time,” She smiled again, “Oh, and I’m not gonna be in class tomorrow. I have a doctor’s appointment so…I’ll just text you sometime.”

 

“Is everything okay?” Carmilla asked.

 

Laura nodded, “My dad is just…my dad. He makes me go every six months.” She rolled her eyes.

 

“Okay,” Carmilla chuckled, “Have a good day, Laura.”

 

“You too, Carm.” Laura smiled before she made her way to the door.

 

“Carm?” She called after her.

 

Laura turned around, “Is that okay?”

 

Actually she got annoyed every time someone tried to call her Carm. Mostly because she didn’t feel like she cared about them enough or felt comfortable enough with them to let them call her that. Turns out both of those things weren’t true with Laura.

 

“Yeah, that’s fine.” She smiled. Laura smiled and walked out the door.

 

 _Carm._ It actually sounded really cute coming from her.

* * *

 

“I was gonna come in this morning but freakin’ Mrs. Crazypants got on me about missing a ‘very important calculus lesson’ and that I'll be lucky if I catch up.” Laura said as she walked into lunch Wednesday.

 

She had texted her for the majority of the day before after letting her know everything went okay at the doctor.

 

Carmilla snorted, “I've always been under the impression she's a little dramatic.”

 

“A little?” Laura scoffed, “It's not even hard compared to the other crap she's been teaching. I think I'll be fine. She just gets mad when people miss her class.”

 

Laura pulled a desk forward and flopped down in it across from Carmilla’s, “So, what do I need to do?”

 

“Well,” Carmilla started with a sigh as she shuffled things around, trying to find what she needed. She handed her a sheet of paper, “I went ahead and just made you a copy of the notes so you wouldn't have to write them, they were kinda long…um, the homework in the book is written in the corner. And then there's this.” She said, handing her another paper to add to the homework.

 

Laura frowned, “You said I could easily catch up.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll be done in like twenty minutes.” Carmilla said.

 

“Mhmm.” Laura mumbled, disbelievingly.

 

After a few minutes, Laura huffed and shuffled the notes to the side and opened her book, “Do I really need to do this right now?”

 

“It was due at the end of class.” Carmilla informed her.

 

“Yeah and I wasn't here. Last time I checked I only had to get assignments from teachers the day I came back to class which means I-“

 

“Laura.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“ _Fine.”_

She finally started on the homework. Still sighing every 30 seconds, Carmilla was pretty sure it was exactly 30 seconds each time.

 

"Do you do this every time you have to do something you don't want to?” Carmilla finally asked.

 

“Do what?”

 

Carmilla gaped at her, “Huff and puff every five seconds until you annoy whoever’s making you do it to death so you don't have to finish it? I don’t recall you being so irritating before.”

 

Laura scoffed, “I am _not_ being annoying.”

 

“Yeah you are.” Carmilla said.

 

Laura just stuck her tongue out at her.

 

“Cute.” Carmilla snorted.

 

Laura scoffed and shuffled out of her seat and walked around the desk. Carmilla watched her with raised eyebrows. She rested her hand on the back of the chair and looked down at her for a moment, “May I?”

 

Carmilla pursed her lips but scooted back. Laura smiled and sat on her leg, throwing her own across Carmilla’s lap and wrapping her arms around her neck.

 

“You can still touch me you know,” Laura said, “I hope I’m not gonna have to keep reminding you of that.”

 

Carmilla side-eyed her but wrapped her arms around her waist. Laura smiled, “This is nice.”

 

"Yeah.” Carmilla sighed, allowing herself to rest her head against Laura’s chest. Laura brought a hand up to the back of Carmilla’s head and started half massaging half playing with her hair. Carmilla closed her eyes and just tried to relax.

 

“On a scale of one to ten,” Laura started quietly, “How likely would it be that we could do something together outside of school?”

 

“Zero.” Carmilla mumbled.

 

Laura scoffed, “We’re more likely to get caught here than we are out in public.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Carmilla said, tightening her arms around her waist. She kind of just wanted her to shut up so she could relax for a few.

 

“What about at your place?” Laura asked after a moment.

 

Carmilla sighed, she might be warming up to this more and more but she didn’t know if she was… _there_ yet, “I don’t know about that one, cutie.”

 

Laura sighed and rested her cheek against Carmilla’s head, mindlessly repeating the actions of her hand, “I was just wondering, don’t worry about it. I know you’re kind of worried about being seen here so…I just want you to be comfortable. I wouldn’t have to hang out in here so much if we had other chances to see each other is all.”

 

Carmilla smiled, “I know, Laura, I just don’t think that’s where I am right now.”

 

“Okay.” Laura laid off of it and remained quiet.

 

“Thank you.” Carmilla said.

 

“For what?” Laura asked.

 

“Just thank you.” She said again, quietly.

 

“You’re welcome.” Laura said, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

 

Carmilla was standing at her desk, gathering all of her things Friday after school when Laura charged into the room and made a beeline for her. She froze when she felt Laura practically on top of her but not saying anything.

 

“Is there something I can help you with, Laura?” She finally asked and continued what she was doing.

 

“Do you know what I just realized?” She asked. Carmilla just shrugged and shook her head, “Next Saturday is Valentine’s Day.”

 

Carmilla pursed her lips, “Good observation, cutie.”

 

“Okay, you've been a little better since that talk we had on Monday but the only way you're going to fully get over this… _thing,_ is if you see for yourself that when it's just us outside of this stupid classroom, it's going to be fine and amazing and like we’re the only two people in the world,” Laura said confidently. Carmilla gave her a questioning glance, “Okay that might have been a little dramatic but you know what I mean.”

 

Carmilla waited for a moment but Laura remained silent, waiting for her to respond, “So what are you suggesting we do then?” She asked, turning to her and realizing they were a lot closer than she expected. She took a tiny step back.

 

Laura just chuckled at her, “Well,” She drawled out, reaching and grabbing Carmilla’s left hand, “What better day to experiment with that than Valentine’s Day? So we are doing _something,_ I just need to think about it. But I'm not letting you say no.”

 

“Oh really?” Carmilla asked and Laura nodded, “What makes you think this is a Valentiney sort of thing here?”

Laura looked a little taken aback and struggled to say _something_ but Carmilla just laughed, “I’m kidding.”

 

Laura smacked her arm with her free hand, “You better be.”

 

Carmilla snorted, “So let's say, _theoretically_ , I agree to this,” She started, “What-“

 

“I just think we should meet at your place and go from there,” Laura interrupted in a low voice, moving a little closer, “I mean if you want to.”

 

“Hey, Laura?” Carmilla glanced over Laura’s head as the younger girl pulled away and turned around quicker than she’s ever seen anyone move in her entire life, “Someone said they saw you come in here…” Danny said from the doorway, looking at them with a slightly confused look on her face.

 

“Uh, yeah, here I am! What's up?” Laura asked with a very large smile, trying desperately to not sound nervous or anything.

 

“I asked you earlier if you would give me a ride home if it started raining. And it did.” Danny said.

 

Laura turned and looked out the windows, “Oh yeah, totally slipped my mind,” Laura laughed, “Sorry. Um thanks for the help Miss Karnstein, have a good weekend.” She smiled.

 

Danny smiled at Laura as she walked towards her but Carmilla didn't miss her eyes glancing over Laura’s head at her, her smile hardening a little bit.

* * *

 

_C: Did your obnoxiously tall friend happen to say anything to you yesterday?_

Carmilla went over that situation in her head about 500 times since yesterday. She somehow missed her walking into the room so god knows how long she had been standing there. They weren't really doing anything but Laura had been standing very close to her and holding her hand.

 

Plus she didn't miss the smiley glare she received from her before she followed Laura out the door.

_L: Like pertaining to us? No._

_L: At least not in so many words_

_C: What exactly does that mean?_

_L: She asked what I was doing and I told her I needed to ask about the homework_

_L: But then she was like “what did you need to ask, it wasn't that hard” and I tried to say it's because I was working on the assignment I missed when you assigned it which was true but_

_C: Anything else?_

_L: Idk she acted like she didn't believe me but she didn't say anything else_

_L: You don't think she heard me or anything do you??_

_C: Who knows, I somehow managed to miss her giant self walk into the room so I don't even know how long she was standing there_

_C: I just know I didn't receive the nicest look from her before she followed you out of the room_

_L: Oh…I’m sure we’re just overreacting right??_

_C: Maybe_

* * *

 

Carmilla unfortunately had decided on a small project for the class to do with partners that's due on Thursday. Danny of course immediately scooted closer to Laura as everyone else shuffled around the room. Carmilla explained the assignment and handed out the grading rubric she would be using so they knew what to include in it.

 

It was also one of the unfortunate occasions she had to take them to the computer lab to do research. So they all filed out of the room, Laura included, and she stayed behind for a moment to grab some quizzes she needed to grade for her next class to occupy herself while they worked.

 

They were actually working when she finally got there, loudly, but working. She sighed and sat at the table in the middle of the room, conveniently facing where Laura sat beside Danny in the corner of the room.

 

Carmilla would glance up occasionally and see Laura obviously talking while she showed Danny what was on her screen. Obviously because she was moving her free hand around a lot like she does when she's explaining something. And Danny was mostly looking at her face, not the computer screen.

 

Carmilla sneered and looked back down at her papers.

 

The next time she looked up, Laura was laughing and pushing her playfully. Carmilla narrowed her eyes but heard a commotion behind her and saw a few of the guys definitely not working on a history assignment. She rolled her eyes and walked up behind them.

 

“Whatcha guys up to?” She asked nicely, peering over their shoulders at the screens.

 

“Uh, just working on our assignment Miss K.” One of them smiled.

 

“Mhmm,” She smiled sweetly, “Looks like you're looking at a bunch of crap you shouldn't be so you should probably start actually working on it unless you'd like to have your computer privileges at school taken away probably resulting in the failure of this assignment and many more in different classes. You know since you're probably too cool to actually do it at home right?”

 

They just blinked at her and the other one finally spoke up, “Sure thing, Miss K.” He said and they closed the tabs they were on and started looking through the assignment.

 

“Thanks.” She patted them on the shoulders and decided she should probably walk around and see what everyone else was up to.

 

One of the things she liked most about being a teacher was that her classes did actually respect her most of the time. She wasn't strict with them so most of the time she didn't need to put her foot down.

 

Through her own personal experiences she realized the stricter the environment, the less likely she would get a room of teenagers to actually listen to her.

 

She didn't know if it's because they noticed she was checking to see if they were doing what they were supposed to or not, but they were actually working. Once she reached Laura and Danny, Danny suddenly stopped laughing at whatever Laura had said and looked up at her. Laura turned around looking confused at first but then smiled, “Oh, what's up?”

 

Carmilla smiled, “Just seeing what everyone is up to. I didn't think you two would find history so amusing.” She said, resting her hand on the back of Laura’s chair.

 

“Oh,” Laura chuckled, “Are we being disruptive?”

 

“Not yet,” Carmilla shrugged, “Just making sure you're actually working.”

 

“Well we are.” Danny said.

 

“Care to show me what you've done then?” Carmilla asked nicely.

 

“Sure!” Laura said, turning back to her computer and opening the word document she was working on. She pointed to Danny’s screen, “She has a timeline started. Here I have a sort of an outline started and links to good pages I found for future reference and to cite when we’re done. I also have a few pictures saved to print for the poster.” She explained, turning back to Carmilla with a smile.

 

“Looks like _you_ are doing a great job then.” Carmilla smiled back.

 

“Uh, what about me? I'm helping.” Danny said.

 

Carmilla looked at her screen, “You have about three things on your timeline,” Carmilla pointed out. She noticed Laura trying to bite back a laugh, “So, I would probably stop watching Laura here do all the work. I'll be taking notes on who I notice doing more work and who’s just sitting around.” She smiled at her.

 

“Whatever.” Danny turned back to her screen.

 

Laura shook her head but smiled at her before doing the same. Carmilla returned to her seat and didn't have any more problems during that class.

 

She ended up taking them back to the computer lab the next day so they could have a longer class period in there. What they did Wednesday was their business. And apparently Danny thought accompanying Laura to her room during lunch was a great idea.

 

Laura gave her an apologetic look as Danny flipped on the lights, “A little dark to be reading isn't it?”

 

“Kinda why I have this light on my desk.” Carmilla glanced over at her with narrow eyes.

 

“I hope we're not bothering you,” Laura said, trying to keep things calm, “But we just have a few notes to take from the book to add to our final project.”

 

“Go right ahead,” Carmilla said, standing up, “I was just about to go make some copies.” She held up a paper to show them.

 

“Okay…” Laura said cautiously before she gave her a reassuring smile and walked out of the room.

 

Thursday she let them finish during class and had them turn it in by the end of the period. Laura handed theirs in pretty early.

 

“What are we doing with the posters?” She held it up and smiled over the top of it.

 

Carmilla looked at it. Laura totally did all of it, the pictures were perfectly spaced apart, all of the writing was super neat and there was glitter all over it.

 

She smiled, “Grab some tape and hang it somewhere.”

 

Laura frowned and looked around, “What about up there?” She asked, gesturing towards the space above the chalk board.

 

“Seriously?” Carmilla asked. She smiled and shrugged, “Well I'm not putting it up there.”

 

Laura made a face at her, “Fine, then just get some tape ready.” She said, setting the poster on Carmilla’s desk, covering everything on it, including her hands and forearms. She grabbed a chair and brought it over, turned her poster over and grabbed the tape, “Thanks.” She said sarcastically as she began ripping off pieces and folding them over and sticking them all over the back.

 

 _All over_ it.

 

“Be careful.” Carmilla said as Laura finished and walked over to the chair, standing up on it.

_"Hold this.”_ Laura hissed, shoving the poster into her hands after failing to climb up on the chair without her hands free to balance. She finally climbed up. She signaled for her to hand it to her so she did and she reached up as far as she could with it, “Hold me.” She requested after a moment.

 

“Laura…” Carmilla said, glancing towards the class.

 

“For god’s sake just stand up and be prepared to save me if I fall then.” Laura huffed. Carmilla sighed but stood up and held up her hands up in the air around her. Laura readjusted herself on her tip toes and smacked the poster against the wall. Once she was sure it would stay, she brought her hands down and turned around. She grabbed one of Carmilla’s hands that she still had up just in case and used it for leverage as she hopped off the chair, “Thanks.” She smiled before walking back to her desk.

 

Carmilla narrowed her eyes but sat back in her own chair. Danny had been watching the whole time, apparently not concerned enough to help since she’s probably 50 feet tall and could have reached without a chair. They talked during the rest of the class while Carmilla discreetly played Candy Crush on her phone trying to ignore them. And probably just the whole class in general.

 

Yes she still played, she was pretty far along and pretty proud of herself for it.

Laura came in during lunch later that day, “Hey,” She said, “I need to talk to you about something.”

 

“What?” Carmilla asked, trying not to sound nervous.

 

Laura pulled up her chair and sat down, “Danny asked me to hang out with her Saturday…like, _hang out_.”

 

“What'd you say?” Carmilla asked.

 

“I said no,” Laura said, “Which prompted a very crappy conversation about how she thought I liked her too and stuff. So she asked why I wouldn't go out with her.”

 

Carmilla nodded for her to continue. She took in a breath and did, “I told her I was sorry she got the wrong impression but…yeah, so she asked why we couldn't just like hang out anyway because we've done that before when we didn't have a Valentine and I told her I was busy and she wouldn't lay off about it especially when I told her I wasn't going to tell her who you were and…”

_“And?”_ Carmilla pressed on.

 

“And…” Laura sighed, “She asked where I go during lunch because I have never told them even before it was in here so that they wouldn't bother me and she asked if it was here and I said maybe and she asked if the reason I won't say anything is because it's you and I tried to get really defensive about it but I don’t think she bought it and-“

 

“Laura, hey, calm down,” Carmilla said, grabbing her hand, “What exactly happened then?”

 

Laura took another deep breath, “I wouldn't say anything and so she said if she finds out for sure anything is going on between us she's not gonna hesitate to tell someone because it's ‘fucking weird’ that a twenty four year old would be with someone who just turned eighteen and that you're probably just secretly a creep or something and is just using me or whatever I don't even know I just, Carm I’m so sorry I’m so so sorry,” She said, her eyes were starting to get watery, “This is exactly what you didn't want to happen and I’m the one that told you this was going to be okay and I'm the one who messed it up. It’s been like twelve days and I already screwed it up.”

 

Carmilla shook her head, “Hey, you’re fine, okay? You didn't tell her anything so she has no proof, okay?” Carmilla stood up and glanced over to the door making sure she didn't follow Laura or anything and she wrapped the smaller girl up in her arms, “It’s gonna be fine.”

 

Laura buried her face in the crook of her neck and sniffled, “I probably shouldn't have come here but I just needed to tell you. I don't know what to do.”

 

Carmilla brought one hand up to her hair and the other rubbing up and down her back to soothe her, “No, its fine.” She reassured her.

 

Laura pulled back and looked up at her, wiping her eyes, “I messed it up.”

 

Carmilla shook her head and brushed the damp strands of hair away from her face, “No, you didn't. She has no proof okay? She doesn’t know anything. But I think maybe for now though you should maybe find somewhere else to hang out during lunch. Just in case,” She said and Laura frowned, “Don't just stop doing it because then she will get suspicious okay?”

 

Laura nodded, “Yeah, you're right.”

 

“It’ll be fine, cupcake.” Carmilla said. She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince. She was hiding the fact that she was internally freaking out because she just wanted Laura to calm down and stop crying.

 

But Danny _didn't_ have any proof. But Carmilla has seen enough of her personality to know she wasn't kidding when she said she would tell someone if she did get some. She thinks Laura can't think or do much for herself because she's so nice to everyone all the time.

 

Normally Carmilla would think this is true about someone but she _knows_ Laura and she knows Laura isn't a pushover and quite frankly she's a little offended on her behalf.

 

"I um, I'm hanging out with LaF and Perry tonight so I probably won't text you,” Laura said, changing the subject, “And I guess I probably won't be seeing you tomorrow so I guess I'll see you Saturday? If you still wanna?” She asked with a shy smile.

 

Carmilla smiled back, “Of course, cutie.”

 

Laura smiled wider, "Okay um, will you text me your address or something later then?”

 

Carmilla nodded, “Yeah.”

 

“Are we being watched?” She asked.

 

Carmilla snorted, “I don't think so.”

 

Laura leaned up and gave her a quick kiss, “I'll be careful about what I say to her okay? I'm not gonna completely mess this up.”

 

“I trust you, cupcake.”

 

Laura continued smiling, “I’m sorry again…And I’m sorry for crying I just don’t want anything to happen to you I’m starting to understand how you felt before,” She rambled again, “But I’ll go now…have a good day, Carm.”

 

Carmilla smiled, “You too, cutie.”

 

She watched Laura walk out of the room before she sat back down in her chair. She was amazed at how when push came to shove, _Laura_ was the one freaking out and _she_ was the one trying to calm her down when literally a week ago Laura was doing everything she could to get her to be more comfortable with this situation because of the possibility that something like this could happen.

 

She’ll be damned if she lets anyone fuck this up now and she will be _damned_ if that person is Danny Lawrence trying to be Laura’s ‘knight in shining armor’ just trying to look out for her and do what she thinks is best for her. Because apparently Laura being happy isn’t really what’s best for her. Unless it’s with her. Which is ridiculous. She would be terrible for Laura.

 

Not that she’s going to think about that at all. Laura _should_ give her a chance, Laura should have a chance to be happy with someone who can actually do things with her that they can’t do. And that irritates her a lot but it’s true. However on the other hand at this point she wouldn't want that person to be Danny. For sure.

 

But regardless, she knows if that’s what Laura cared about then they wouldn’t be where they are right now. So…she’s really not going to think about it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character development????? pretty much all this chapter was for. still sucked. the next one will maybe be better. and also will probably be in the tiny gay's pov finally :D thanks for you kind words


	4. Passion Struck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't hate this as much as i do

"Daddy, I’m going out with my friends, I’ll see you later.” Laura said as she walked briskly by her dad who was on the couch watching TV.

“Plural?” He asked when he looked up and saw the red short sleeved dress she was wearing that fell just above her knees with her hair in a side braid.

“Yes, dad, plural.” She said, giving him a look while she pulled her coat on.

He gave her a disbelieving look, “Yeah, well, be careful. Love you.”

“I love you too, dad.” She said as she went out the door. Okay that wasn’t as hard as she expected it to be. She checked her purse to make sure she had everything with her as she climbed into her car. She opened the text Carmilla had sent her with her address and copied it into her Maps app just to make sure she was going to the right place. She pretty much knew where it was but…just to be safe.

The plan was to be at her place by 3 which, in hindsight sounded fine, but she didn’t anticipate being this nervous so she hasn’t really eaten all day for fear of throwing up. So in addition to the bundle of nerves in her stomach, she was starving.

She plugged her phone into her radio and it started playing after her phone’s GPS informed her how to leave her driveway. Which she thought was entirely unnecessary.

She turned up the music to try to distract herself as she drove. It wasn’t a long drive but…anything to try to calm down. Carmilla lived in a loft above one of the antique stores in town and once she reached there, she pulled around back which was technically where she was supposed to go in…She thought. But once she parked and went to get out she decided it was increasingly creepy and sort of dingey and she decided to call Carmilla.

“Hello?” Carmilla said, sounding distracted.

“Uh, hey it’s me,” Laura said, “I mean I’m pretty sure I’m at the right spot but like it’s really creepy back here and also I don't see your car? So, I'm a little confused and a little worried and maybe a little worried for you if you live here and come out here at night? Anyway so I just wanted to make sure that I’m like not gonna get murdered or something because my dad told me to be careful and that would definitely not qualify as being careful so like-“

“Laura,” Carmilla interrupted her with a chuckle, “Look at the door.”

Laura looked up and Carmilla was standing there hanging up her phone and crossing her arms waiting for her. Laura smiled and threw her keys in her purse, getting out and locking her doors about 5 times just to be safe.

“You know there’s a place inside the store you can go in instead.” Carmilla said as Laura reached her and she held the door open for her.

“Now you tell me!” Laura scoffed as she climbed the stairs.

“Future reference.” Carmilla said and Laura smiled at the thought of coming back on a regular basis.

Once Laura reached the top, she waited for Carmilla to catch up to lead her to the right door.

She followed her down a hallway and through the door she opened and when she walked in it wasn’t like she pictured…like at all. The kitchen was in the back left corner with an island counter in it. The front left was where what she assumed the bathroom was, a few feet from that door was a small table and chairs. In front of her in the center of the room was a big TV hanging on the wall in front of a big couch with a coffee table. Between there and the bed that was in the back right corner on a kind of platform thing was where all of her art stuff seemed to be.

The last corner contained a piano that she wondered how anyone even got up here but…that would be a question for later since she turned back to Carmilla and she was looking at her expectantly.

“I tried to clean up a little bit but-”

“No it’s fine,” Laura reassured her, “I kind of always thought it was like…not an actual loft thing, you know?”

Carmilla snorted, “Not really?”

“Never mind,” Laura said, “I like it, it’s cool.” She said. It was actually very much Carmilla.

“Okay…” Carmilla said, “You wanna take off your coat or…?”

“Oh, right,” Laura laughed nervously, setting her purse on a table by the door before shrugging it off. Carmilla took it from her and hung it on a hook on the other side of the door, “Oh, before I forget,” Laura said, digging through her purse for the heart shaped box, “I got this for you…Well, technically I got it for myself but I refilled it for you. With a giant brownie.” She said, handing over the box to her. Carmilla chuckled and opened it.

“Thanks,” She smiled and looked back up at her, “I um, hang on a sec.” Carmilla said and walked across the room to her bed area and returned with something behind her back, “Here.” She said, thrusting it forward and Laura reached out and grabbed it. It was a tiny little pink dog holding a heart that just had ‘xoxo’ on it.

“Aw, thank you.” Laura smiled looking at it for a moment before putting it next to her purse.

Carmilla just shrugged and stared at her a little bit again until Laura raised her eyebrows, “Sorry,” Carmilla said, “You look…beautiful.” She finally said.

Laura blushed and looked down and the butterflies in her stomach re-exploded, “Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.” She said and she heard Carmilla snort. She wasn’t dressed much differently than what she wore to school; dark skinny jeans and a nice black top.

“So um, I actually ordered some food if that’s cool? I didn’t know if you actually had a plan so…” Carmilla said.

“Oh, thank god,” Laura breathed out, she didn’t know if she could wait much longer to eat, “I’m starving.”

Carmilla laughed, “Have a seat, I’ll bring it over.” She said, gesturing to the small “dining room” table. Laura kicked off her shoes by the door and made her way over.

She sat and continued looking around at everything while Carmilla dumped food from the takeout boxes onto some plates, “What do you want to drink?” She asked, interrupting her thoughts, “I have water and um…some Diet Coke.”

“Diet Coke is fine.” Laura chuckled, she clearly saw into the fridge from where she was and also saw some beer which she figured Carmilla didn’t want to offer since she’s not 21. Even though she clearly knows she’s drank before.

After a minute, Carmilla brought everything over, “I remembered what you said about Kirsch bringing your favorite food over so…that’s what I got.”

Laura smiled, “Thanks.”

Laura had calmed a little bit actually being around her so she didn’t have a problem immediately digging into her food. They ate quietly for a few minutes, Laura kept sneaking glances up at her. Something about her seemed a little off. She wasn’t very talkative…not that she usually is but…yeah. But she started thinking, this is the first time they’ve actually been like…alone. Maybe she’s nervous too?

“So…” Laura started off cautiously, “This is kind of like…our first date right?” She asked, smiling upon the realization but still nervous as to how Carmilla would react since so far the only thing she’s done is stop her fork halfway between her plate and mouth.

She finally looked up at her and grinned, “Yeah.” She said quietly before finally finishing her bite.

Laura beamed and continued eating her own food. In like, record time. She didn’t mean to but…she wasn’t kidding when she said she was starving. Carmilla was about half done with hers and Laura took a sip of her pop before putting her hands under her legs and looking at her expectantly.

“Can I help you?” She asked finally.

Laura scooted her chair a little closer to her and shrugged, “Just waiting for you to finish.”

“Well we don’t all inhale our food like some people.” She teased.

“I did not inhale it,” She scoffed, “I told you I was hungry.”

Carmilla just ‘mhmm’d and nodded as she continued eating and Laura did her best not to appear to be impatient. She’s learned that Carmilla isn’t a fan of fidgeting and all that all.

She kind of couldn’t believe she was actually sitting here with her. At her place. On Valentine’s Day. On like…a date.

Okay so things might not exactly be going the way she expected them to after she got Carmilla to give this a try. She doesn’t know why she expected any differently, Carmilla was never going to just fall into this with a beaming smile and open arms. She’s scared.

And now she understands why.

She doesn’t think she’s ever been more afraid in her entire life than when she was when Danny confronted her about her suspicions. She didn’t tell Carmilla the entire story. Danny had been standing in the doorway long enough that one day to see whatever they were talking about wasn’t between a teacher and her student.

So, essentially…she knows. But even so, she still doesn’t have proof. Like Carmilla said. So they need to be more careful for awhile. She wanted to tell her but she was afraid she would just call the entire thing off.

But she’s still afraid. She’s afraid of losing Carmilla. She’s afraid of Carmilla getting in trouble. She’s afraid of losing one of her best friends. She’s afraid of losing all of her friends. She likes to think that Danny would be respectful and keep this to herself rather than telling LaF and Perry…but she doesn’t know.

She doesn’t know why she’s so adamant about telling someone and getting her in trouble if she ever can. Carmilla hasn’t done anything wrong. Laura was the one coming onto her and Carmilla did her best to not give in. It’s not her fault she finally did. And if Danny wants to be a bitch and get her fired or maybe even arrested then that is entirely uncalled for.

“ _How do you know she isn’t just using you?”_

“ _What kind of 24 year old teacher hooks up with her students?”_

“ _Do you not realize how creepy that is?”_

Laura wasn’t lying when she said she denied it and didn’t tell her anything but Danny kept saying these things like Laura isn’t smart enough to know the difference between some creepy pervert that she wants nothing to do with and some amazing woman that she wants everything to do with even when said woman did everything she could to stop her advances.

If anyone is the “bad guy” here it’s her. She knows Carmilla wants this too, there’s no way everything that has happened between them would’ve happened if she didn’t, but on the same note if this isn’t really what she wants then she’s willing to give it up. She just wants to give it a chance first. That’s why she was so persistent.

“Hey!” Carmilla snapped her fingers in front her face to get her attention, “I said I’m done I’m just gonna clean up and we’ll do something else.”

“Oh, okay.” Laura smiled and Carmilla just shook her head at her.

She went over to rinse everything off in the sink. Laura walked over and stood next to her, “Can I help?”

Carmilla shook her head, “I’m just rinsing them off before I put them in the dishwasher.”

“Oh…” Laura said and leaned against the counter.

Carmilla looked at her after a moment, “You could help a little bit though.”

“How?”

“By moving so I can open it and put them in there.” Carmilla said, looking down. Laura followed her eyes and saw she was leaning against the dishwasher.

“Oh! Sorry,” She said, shuffling out of the way. Carmilla just chuckled at her and finished what she was doing, “So now what?”

Carmilla looked at her funny, “I thought you had a plan. I mean this was your idea.”

“Yeah but…we’re obviously staying here. I don’t know what there is to do.” Laura pointed out. Laura knows what she wants to do. Everything she’s wanted to do since like…the first day of school. Lots of kissing…and other things. But she thinks maybe Carmilla is barely comfortable with the kissing so maybe just…go with that first and see what happens.

But also she doesn’t want to seem like that’s the only thing she wants. She really does wanna spend time with her so…they can do that first. And maybe break the ice a little since they ate mostly in silence.

Carmilla just looked at her expectantly.

Laura turned and looked around the room. TV would be an obvious choice but they could do that later. Her eyes wandered to the bed for a moment. No, not yet. She sighed and looked between the two, “What about painting?” She asked, turning back around.

“Really?” Carmilla asked, sounding surprised.

“Yeah.” Laura grinned.

“Okay…then you should probably put something over your dress,” Carmilla suggested, “The dresser at the foot of my bed has some stuff I usually paint in in the bottom left drawer if you wanna find something while I get everything ready.”

“Okay.” Laura smiled and bounced across the room. She jumped up on the platform and opened the drawer. She rifled through it, looking for a big t shirt or something and finally found one. She threw it over her head, trying to ignore how much it smelled like her and how grossly happy it made her feel.

“This good?” She asked. Her dress still peeked out from under the bottom but when she got sat down she could pull it over.

“Perfect,” Carmilla nodded and gestured for her to sit on the stool next to her, “So, are you gonna paint or are you gonna watch me?”

“Maybe I should watch you first.” Laura smiled.

“Okay…but I’m not gonna let you see. It’s a surprise.” She smirked.

“Then what’s the point of me watching?” Laura scoffed.

“You get to look at me?” Carmilla pointed out.

Laura snorted, “Fine.”

Carmilla turned the canvas away from her so they were kind of facing each other. Laura was watching her intently. She was very cute when she was concentrating. Especially when she was adding detail and leaned super close to it with her tongue peeking out from between her lips.

“What are you painting?” Laura finally asked.

Carmilla glanced at her and smirked, “You.”

“Really?” Laura smiled, “You’ve barely looked at me.”

“I don’t need to.” Carmilla grinned. Laura smiled wider, she didn’t miss the implication.

"What do you like to paint most?" Laura asked curiously.

Carmilla shrugged, "Depends on my mood, I really like painting colorful things though. I like blending the colors together."

Laura smiled, "What do you like to _draw_ most?"

Carmilla shrugged again, "Animals, people, stuff like that."

"Do you do it a lot?" Laura asked.

"I haven't had a lot of time since school started."

Laura looked around, she didn't really see anything that looked like something Carmilla may have made, "Can I see some?"

Carmilla glanced over at her, "Maybe someday."

Laura made a face but respected her. After a few minutes Carmilla set her brush down and looked at her, “Ready to see?”

“That didn’t take long.” Laura said but nodded excitedly.

Carmilla picked it up and turned it to her with a grin. Laura gaped at it, “That’s a pie.”

Carmilla nodded, “Yeah, a _cutie_ pie,” She pointed at the word ‘cutie’ written in very fancy writing above the pie that had cute little eyes and a mouth, “This is my response to that ridiculous ‘Valentine’ you sent me this morning.”

Laura just shook her head and laughed. She had texted her a picture she found of a pretzel that said “you tie my heart in knots” and sent it to her with a “happy valentine’s day, carm :)” and she pretended it didn’t amuse her. Now she knows otherwise.

“You're a dork...And I hope you know I have about 20 similar pictures saved on my phone and now that I know you appreciate the cute humor you’ll be getting them sent to you randomly from now on.” Laura smiled.

Carmilla just narrowed her eyes at her before she tore off the page and set it to the side to dry, “Your turn.”

Laura frowned, “I don’t know what to paint, I don’t even know how to paint.”

“You suggested it.” Carmilla pointed out.

Laura frowned again as Carmilla turned the canvas towards her. She put red, blue and green paint on the thing next to where Carmilla had put hers. She dipped her brush in the green and made a straight line in the center of the page; the stem of a flower. She painted the flower and a butterfly before filling in the grass and sky and adding some yellow for the sun.

Once she was done she sat back and looked at it for a moment, “You done?” Carmilla asked.

She nodded, “You can’t make fun of it.” She said as she picked it up.

“I won’t,” Carmilla promised before she turned it around. Carmilla pursed her lips together as her eyes scanned over it, “It’s cute.” She said quickly.

“Noooo, its terrible,” Laura whined, “It looks like a five year old painted it.”

“Well-“

“Do not make a joke about me being small.” Laura interrupted her and Carmilla just chuckled.

“I like it,” Carmilla shrugged. Laura frowned not believing her, “If you don’t believe me I’ll hang it up somewhere then.”

“You will not.” Laura scoffed.

“Next time you come by just wait and see.” Carmilla said as she put it next to her own to dry.

“Next time, huh?” Laura asked.

“As long as you don’t annoy me to death.” Carmilla said, booping her nose with the paint brush she didn’t even see her pick up that still had a little bit of blue paint on it.

“Carm!” Laura jumped back and grabbed another sized brush that still had some paint on it and launched forward trying to get it on her nose. Carmilla threw up her arm though so she ended up with a streak of red down her forearm. Laura got closer and tried again but Carmilla grabbed her wrist and brought it in the air and held it there.

Laura pouted but reached up with her other hand to get the brush but she grabbed that wrist too and held them in the air, obviously being way stronger than Laura had thought, “That’s not fair.” Laura huffed, looking away from her hands and realizing how close they were because of them.

Carmilla shrugged, “Blue looks good on you.” She said quietly.

Laura leaned closer, “Yeah?” She asked, leaning closer. And closer and closer. She finally brought their lips together in a sloppy kiss as she tried to rub her nose against hers and her cheek as much as possible before she pulled back. Carmilla looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she shrugged, “I think it looks better on you.” She smirked as she saw the blue smudged across her skin.

Carmilla immediately dropped her wrists and brought a hand to her face and looked at it, “ _That_ was not fair.” Carmilla sighed and Laura just shrugged again, still smirking as she sat the brush in the little cup of water.

She looked down at it as she swished it around, watching as the water turned an even deeper color of…gray/brownish…

She let go of it and hesitated before looking back up at Carmilla who was still standing very close to her, “What now?” She asked.

Carmilla opened her mouth to answer her but was cut off by an annoying sound from across the room, "Crap, that's my dad." Laura sighed and briskly walked to the door and pulled her phone out of her purse, "Hello?"

"Whatcha doin'?" He asked.

"Watching a movie." Laura said quietly to convince him.

"Oh, which one?" He asked.

Laura did her best not to sigh as she rolled her eyes, "One of the scary ones that just came out on Netflix, I can't remember what it's called. It's kinda dumb."

She jumped a little bit when she felt hands settle at the top of her arms, pulling her back just a little bit and before she could turn around or anything she felt a kiss on her shoulder where the collar of her shirt was. Her mouth snapped shut along with her eyes as her dad said something else that she wasn't able to 100% process.

She cleared her throat, "Dad, they're side-eyeing me because they can hear you talking through the phone, I'll be home later okay?" She said quickly but not too quickly.

He was silent for a moment and Carmilla wasn't stopping making her way up her neck, "Okay have fun...not too much fun. And be careful."

" _Dad_...I love you," She waited for him to respond before hanging up and throwing her phone back into her purse, "What are you doing?"

"I kinda liked what we were doing a minute ago." Carmilla said in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine as Carmilla ran her hands down her arms and onto her waist.

Laura turned to face her, "Really?"

She was a little surprised to say the least, considering it always took her way too long to kiss her back and was weird about touching her which she was definitely doing now as her arms wrapped farther around her waist, pulling her closer.

"Did you not?" Carmilla asked.

"Wha-no, I did I'm just...kinda confused," Laura said. Carmilla gave her a questioning look so she elaborated, "I mean maybe its because we were at school but you never seemed super comfortable with the kissing and touching me thing."

Carmilla sighed, "That was part of it...I'm sure since you said 'maybe' you could figure out the other part but...I've been thinking, like a lot, about everything."

"And?"

"And," Carmilla started with another sigh, "I _did_ like kissing you its just a little difficult for me to process the fact that the one person I've ever really felt like this about is still in _high school._ I'm sure you can imagine that's not that's not the greatest feeling for someone who's going on twenty-five."

Laura made a face but nodded. She was tired of the teenager thing but she can't really see it from her side so she tries to understand.

"And since we are restricting ourselves to here instead of at school and not having to worry about all of the crap there...I just want to enjoy myself with you." She finished.

"Kinda wish this was your thought process like...five months ago." Laura chuckled.

Carmilla shook her head with a grin and brought her hands to Laura's face and in for another kiss. After a few moments she pulled back a little, "Do you maybe wanna actually watch a movie?"

Laura smiled and nodded and pulled the tshirt over her head and Carmilla grabbed her hand a led her to the couch. Laura settled against her side and Carmilla threw her arm around her shoulders as she pushed a bunch of buttons on her remotes to get to Netflix.

They did pick a "scary" movie but about a 1/2 hour into it Laura was sighing restlessly. It wasn't scary and it was incredibly boring. Which she found most "scary" movies to be like.

" _What_ is wrong?" Carmilla sighed, sounding annoyed.

"This is dumb." Laura whined and turned her face into her shoulder. She curled into her side, throwing her legs over hers and closing her eyes.

"Comfy?"

Laura mumbled a positive response.

"Would you like to watch something else then?" Carmilla snorted.

"Not really." Laura mumbled again.

"Then what?" Carmilla asked.

Laura lifted her head and looked at her, "I think maybe we should get the paint off our faces before we completely forget." She laughed.

"Right." Carmilla laughed and pushed aside Laura's legs to stand up and make her way to the bathroom. She came back out a few minutes later with a clean face and a wet wash cloth. She sat down next to Laura and grabbed her face with one hand as she started wiping at her nose.

"I feel like a child." Laura struggled to say since Carmilla was squeezing her cheeks as she held her still.

Carmilla pursed her lips and chuckled. She wiggled her head back and forth before she let go. Laura crinkled her nose and wiped at it, "Thanks," She said, "Um...I don't wanna seem like...pushy or anything but can we go back to doing that one thing again?" She asked, glancing down at her lips.

Carmilla tossed the cloth on the coffee table and nodded and Laura nearly launched herself at her. Carmilla scooted back, trying not to disconnect their lips and Laura followed, hesitating for a moment before throwing a leg over her lap and straddling her. Carmilla rested her hands on her waist and Laura threw her arms around her neck as she ran her tongue across Carmilla's lip. Carmilla parted her lips and Laura couldn't stop the quiet moan that came out of her mouth.

She had only been thinking about doing anything like this for... _months._ They've been in a situation like this before but certainly not _like this_ in which Carmilla's hands are roaming around her to her back and up and down her sides and her own hands are tangled in Carmilla's hair and she's struggling to keep her hips still.

When she needs a little air she moves away from her mouth and kisses along her jaw and down her neck as Carmilla tilts her head to the side to give her more room. She lightly sucks at her pulse point, "Don't leave a mark." Carmilla warned breathlessly and Laura sighed but placed a final kiss there.

Laura cleared her throat, "What exactly are we doing because I need to know if there's a line I need to not cross because I _really-"_

Carmilla silenced her by kissing her and laying down on the couch, pulling her down on top of her, "Okay then." Laura breathed out against her lips before Carmilla leaned up and started kissing down her neck, heeding her own warning about leaving marks apparently. Much to Laura's disappointment.

Laura shifted one of her legs between Carmilla's and Carmilla bent her leg up and pressed it against her center. Laura automatically grinded down against it and dropped her forehead against the couch beside Carmilla's head as she moaned. Carmilla brought her hands up and lifted her face back up to hers and kissed her again, pressing her leg against her again. Laura moaned into her mouth and rocked her hips again.

She suddently sat up and shook her head. Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her, "No we're not doing this like this just because I'm a teenager doesn't mean I want to act like one and... _you know,_ by grinding against your leg fully clothed." She blurted out quickly.

Carmilla snorted, "Fine," She said and reached for the zipper of her jeans. Laura looked down and watched as she unbottoned them and pulled the zipper down. She swallowed hard and Carmilla raised her hips and eyebrow, "Take them off."

"Um, okay." Laura said and scooted back, grabbing them and pulling them down her legs. She was like an inch taller than her but they seemed to be like miles long as she finally got them bunch up around her ankles before actually pulling them off. She was wearing _black_ lacy underwear of course and Laura's mouth went dry as she dragged her eyes back up her legs to them, then back up to her face.

"Are you just gonna stare all day?" Carmilla chuckled.

"I might." Laura said quickly.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to." Carmilla said softly.

"No no no no nonononono. No. Trust me," Laura chuckled, "I want to. I have wanted to for like...ever. But it's happening and-"

"You nervous?"

"Maybe."

"Laura, just because you've wanted to do this 'forever' doesn't mean we have to just because we're finally alone. I mean, technically this has only been an actual thing for two weeks..." Carmilla said.

Laura looked at her for a moment, "I know...but it feels like so much longer than that considering how the months before it went..." She said quietly.

"I know, that's my reasoning to convince myself it's okay to do this right now." Carmilla smiled.

Laura snorted, "If _you_ don't want to we don't have to."

"No, trust me, I want to too." She said.

"Okay..." Laura said.

"Okay." Carmilla repeated, looking at her expectantly.

"So like...as much as I have pictured our first time being like...on your desk or something since there's a bed like twenty feet away can we migrate over there?" Laura asked nervously.

Carmilla snorted, "After you."

"Okay." Laura stood up on somewhat shaky legs and walked to the end of the couch waiting for her. She stood up and looked ridiculously hot and her hair looked kind of messy and Laura was staring again and Carmilla just laughed and brushed by her, grabbing her hand on the way by and tugging her along.

Her eyes fell to her butt and _oh my god._ She looked up and tried not to trip up the stair to the platform her bed was on. Carmilla let go of her hand and climbed back on the bed. Laura stood there and watched her for a moment, fidgeting with the skirt of her dress.

Amongst other things, this was certainly not how she pictured this going. She was shaky and she felt like she might throw up and she couldn't stop staring at her like an idiot she was _so_ freaking nervous. How she ever managed to say such suggestive things to her and everything else leading to this point she has no idea because she thought she might die soon and all they've been doing is kissing.

She eventually returned to her position back on top of Carmilla and she ran her hand down her thigh and back up and up, going up her side until she reached the swell of her breast. She kissed her as she squeezed over her shirt and bra. Carmilla groaned and grabbed her hand, pushing back down and under her shirt. She pushed her leg back up against Laura when she pulled the cup of her bra down and squeezed her nipple. Laura moaned and rocked her hips, pushing her own leg against Carmilla.

Carmilla's hips bucked up as she echoed Laura's moan. Laura took a shaky breath and sat up, pulling Carmilla up by her shirt before struggling to pull it over her head and tossing it to the side. Carmilla's hands wandered under Laura's dress to her ass and squeezed as Laura rocked against her leg again a few more times.

"Carm," She breathed out as she repeated her motions. What she said on the couch suddenly wasn't an issue for her anymore considering this felt _amazing._ Carmilla hummed in response as she attached her lips to her neck again.

This is really happening, it's happening right now and she was a nervous wreck and Carmilla was making the most wonderful sounds and making her feel amazing and probably was not nervous at all because she probably does this all the time, "Laura," Oh god that sounded wonderful, "Laura, if you wanna stop we can." She said quietly.

Laura cleared her throat, "I'm sorry, I'm...I _am_ really nervous and I don't know why, it's not like I haven't done this before but like, it's you and you're... _you_ and-"

"I don't do this all the time like you probably think I do," Carmilla chuckled, "I'm a little nervous too, so it's okay."

"But-"

"No buts, Laura, I want this to be because you _really_ want to not just because you _want_ to...if that makes sense." Carmilla furrowed her brow at herself.

Laura chuckled, "No, I get what you're saying."

"So..." Carmilla looked up at her.

"So..." Laura started with a sigh, she can't do this if she's going to be this nervous. She felt like this, okay maybe not quite as bad, the first time with her ex girlfriend and it didn't go so well and she wants her first time with Carmilla to be as amazing as possible, "Can we just...nap maybe?"

Carmilla smiled, "Of course, cutie."

Laura climbed off her and made her way to the side closest to the wall as Carmilla reached over the side of her bed and grabbing a shirt to throw on before throwing the blanket over them as they snuggled up to each other.

"I'm so sorry," Laura said quietly, "I didn't think I would be this nervous, its absolutely ridiculous."

"You don't need to apologize." Carmilla said quietly, wrapping her arm over Laura's shoulders as she rested her head on her shoulder and threw her arm over her waist and tangling their legs together.

Laura just smiled as she closed her eyes and breathed her in.

It didn't take her long to drift off to sleep and she's not sure how long she slept for but she woke up in the same position she fell asleep in and took a deep breath, pulling herself in closer.

"Morning." Carmilla chuckled.

Laura made an incoherent noise and buried her face in the crook of her neck, "What time is it, really?"

"About seven thirty." Carmilla said, probably barely understanding what she even asked. Laura groaned again.

"When do you have to be home?" Carmilla asked.

"Not super late." Laura just shrugged. She could've sworn she felt Carmilla shiver when she felt her breath against her neck.

"Okay." Carmilla said.

"Did you sleep?"

"Not really," Carmilla answered, "What were you dreaming about?"

"What?"

"You sounded like a baby mewling in it's sleep." She chuckled.

"Oh..." Laura said, trying to think of what she was just dreaming about, "I don't remember."

"Probably brownies or something." Carmilla teased.

Laura snorted and hummed her response.

They laid silently, Laura trailed her hand up under Carmilla's shirt and was running it across her stomach. Carmilla sucked in a breath, "Your hand is freezing."

Laura giggled, "Sorry," But she didn't remove her hand, "You're very comfortable." She mumbled into her neck before placing a kiss on it.

Carmilla snorted, "Thanks."

Laura hummed again and kissed again, "You smell really nice too."

"I think you're a little delirious from your nap." Carmilla chuckled.

"I don't think so." Laura said, her hand trailing higher as she pulled Carmilla's ear lobe between her teeth.

"Laura-"

Laura shh'd her, "Don't give me a chance to overthink this." She said, looking in her eyes before kissing her and almost immediately deepening it. Carmilla let out a tiny noise as Laura scratched lightly down her stomach. She rolled over more on top of her and Carmilla's hands were wandering up and down her sides.

She sat up and started tugging on her dress, Carmilla sat up and helped her, "Are you sure you wanna try this again?" She asked as she pulled it over her head and tossed it to the side. Laura just nodded and pulled Carmilla's shirt back over her head.

For some reason she felt incredibly relaxed now. And still incredibly turned on from earlier. So yeah, she thinks she's ready.

She tried to not fidget under Carmilla's gaze, "You're gorgeous." She whispered.

"Thanks." She smiled and kissed her again, pushing her back down on the bed. She reached around Carmilla's back and undid her bra, pulling it off her.

She stared for a moment before she leaned back down and started kissing across her chest, "You're not so bad yourself." She said between kisses. Carmilla chuckled before Laura wrapped her lips around her nipple causing it to turn into a moan. Her hand flew to the back of Laura's head and Laura's other hand paid just as much attention to her other.

Laura kissed further down and wow her skin is so soft and the quiet noises she's making above her is driving her crazy so she keeps kissing and sucking lightly across her stomach. She reaches the top of her underwear and she kisses just beside her hip bone and Carmilla jerks her hips slightly so she sucks there, hard enough to leave a mark because if anyone is going to see a hickey there they're going to have to have a little talk about that but Carmilla didn't stop her.

She then kissed her way back up to her lips, shifting to the side slightly and running her hand down her torso. She stopped when she reached her panties and ran her finger along the waistband asking permission. Carmilla nodded against her mouth and she moved her hand to cup her through them. Carmilla moaned a little louder this time and rocked her hips against her hand.

She can't believe she's getting this sort of reaction out of _her_ and its kind of boosting her ego a little bit. However she's starting to get a little nervous again, mostly because she's afraid of not living up to expectations and disappointing her. So before she had a chance to fully doubt herself she shoved her hand down her underwear and ran her finger through her folds.

Carmilla's hips bucked up again, "Laura," She moaned quietly. Laura continued her ministrations around her clit, causing a string of incoherent sounds to come from Carmilla. She teased around her entrance, Carmilla bucking her hips again, "Please." She said and that's all Laura needed to hear. She pushed two fingers inside her, stilling for a moment before pulling back and pushing back in.

She kissed her, swallowing her moans as Carmilla's hips rocked in time with her thrusts. She curled her fingers and swiped her thumb over her clit and she already felt her tightening ever so slightly around her fingers. Carmilla pulled her face away so she could try to breathe better, her hands were gripping at Laura's ass, urging her to start rocking her hips against her leg. So she did.

She buried her face in the crook of her neck as she thrusted in Carmilla and rocked her hips against her, "Harder, please." Carmilla breathed out, Laura slowed down her thrusts but made them harder. Her moans were muffled by Carmilla's neck and Carmilla's were getting louder and louder as Laura kept going. She swiped her thumb over her clit a few times before pressing hard against it one last time and Carmilla's body stiffened accompanied by a bunch of "oh my god"s and "laura"s and one hand flew to hold onto the sheets and her other to Laura's back, scratching across it. All of that combined was enough for Laura to tumble over the edge as well.

She bit down on her shoulder as they both rode out their orgasms, Carmilla groaned and pushed her face away from her shoulder so she brought their lips back together.

"Carm." She mumbled against them as she finally stilled her movements.

Carmilla just hummed. She pulled her fingers out and brought them to her lips, Carmilla watching as she cleaned them off before reconnecting their lips when she was finished, "I don't know what you were so nervous about." She said when she pulled back again.

"Yeah?" Laura asked and Carmilla nodded, "I was hoping you'd enjoy it."

Carmilla snorted, "You're a dork."

Laura shrugged and scooted down slightly so she could rest her head on her chest.

"Don't get too comfortable." Carmilla said.

"Why?" Laura mumbled.

"Because it's your turn soon." Carmilla said.

"But I-"

"Nope," Carmilla interrupted her, "Your turn."

She quickly flipped them over and was hovering above her with a smirk on her face. Laura just shook her head and smiled. Yeah she really didn't know why she was so freaking nervous before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DONT HATE THIS AS MUCH AS I DO im so sorry it took me 10 years to figure out what to do and im still not entirely sure i like it (ALSO IM SORRY IF THE SEXY TIMES SUCKED IM NOT GOOD AT THIS)


	5. Forbidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> puppy kirsch helps laura and domestic hollstein times ensue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol the chapter titles almost have nothing to do with anything can u figure out what they're named after

“I'll see you Monday.” Carmilla mumbled against her lips as they kissed goodbye in the doorway of her building.

“Ugh, why can't it still be a three day weekend?” Laura groaned.

“That's what happens when school gets closed, cutie, you gotta make it up.” Carmilla chuckled.

“That's a dumb rule.” Laura said.

Carmilla shrugged, “I don't make them.”

Laura sighed and gave her another lingering kiss, “I guess I should probably go,” She said, taking a step back, “I had a really nice time.” She smiled shyly.

“So did I.” Carmilla smiled back.

“Okay...” She said, still smiling as she started walking to her car, “I'll talk to you later then.”

“Be careful.” Carmilla said as she waited for Laura to get into her car and safely drive away. They gave a little wave to each other as she drove by with a smile still plastered on her face.

She did have an _amazing_ time...not just because of the sex. Which was still amazing, but mostly because afterwards they laid there with each other and talked a lot more which was really nice.

Also it turns out her cousin or someone owns the store she lives above so they let her come and go through the store as she pleases so if its ever necessary for Laura to arrive or leave when it's already closed, she doesn't have to worry about being murdered around back. Which Carmilla reassured her several times wouldn't happen but she still wasn't so sure.

Her phone ringing interrupted her thoughts, “Hello?” She answered.

“Hey, lil nerd, what's up?” Kirsch asked.

She immediately smiled again, “I'm just driving home, what about you?”

“Oh cool, perfect timing. I was gonna ask if you wanted to chill for a few?” He asked.

She glanced at the clock on her radio, it was a little after 11 but she's sure her dad wouldn't mind...it was just Kirsch, “Yeah, that's fine. I'll probably be home in like, five minutes.” She told him.

“Cool, see you soon!” He said before they hung up.

His truck was already in the driveway when she pulled up, “Did you call me when you were already here?” She asked with a laugh as they both got out of their vehicles.

“Maybe.” He shrugged and smiled. She shook her head and gave him a hug. His hugs were always her favorite, she'd just rest her head against his chest while his arms like, completely enveloped her in the biggest, greatest hug ever. Once they broke apart he threw his arm around her shoulder and she kept hers around his waist as they walked up the sidewalk, “So did you have a hot date tonight?” She teased.

“Nah,” He said, looking down at her, “You look like you did though.” He said, squeezing her shoulders.

Laura shrugged and dropped her arm to unlock the door when they reached it, “I might have.”

“And you didn't tell me!?” He asked, sounding offended.

“I didn't tell _anyone_ , calm down.” She laughed as she pushed the door open. Her dad was asleep on the couch so she put a finger to her mouth to quiet Kirsch as they pulled their coats off quietly.

She pulled him to the kitchen and he sat down at the table, “Do you want anything?” She asked as she looked in the fridge.

“Uh, whatever pop you have is fine,” He said and she returned with a can of Coke for him and a juice pouch for herself, “So, tell me about this date.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

She rolled her eyes, “Kirsch, there's a reason I didn't tell anyone.”

“Why? Is it a dude?” He asked, “Oh my god, you're straight aren't you?”

“Kirsch!” She laughed, “No, she just...isn't, she's not really out yet.”

“Oh, that's cool,” He nodded, “So I suppose you're not gonna say anything about her.”

“Probably not.” She said, taking a sip of her juice.

He sighed, “That's cool, I get it. So you really like her then, huh?”

“Uh, yeah,” She said, “Why?”

He shrugged, “You've got a pretty dopey grin on your face which I think I've probably seen on like, two other occasions,” He said, raising an eyebrow, “Actually, this one might be dopier.”

“You're dopey, shut up.” She said as she took another drink and averted her eyes to the table. He just chuckled.

“How long have you been going out?” He asked.

“Technically about two weeks.”

“Technically?”

She looked back up at him and shrugged, “We talked for a few months before.”

He nodded, “Cool. How's Lawrence taking it?”

“Why would she care?” Laura asked quickly.

“It's pretty obvious she likes you, I was just wondering if she knew.” Kirsch shrugged.

Laura sighed, “She does...she's not thrilled.”

“She should be happy for you.” He pointed out.

“I'm not so sure it's because she likes me more so than it is because she _doesn't_ like her.” Laura said.

“How does she know who she is?” He asked.

“Just forget it.” She sighed, she didn't need to say anything else.

“If you're afraid I'm gonna go talk to her about it...have you considered the fact that we don't talk outside of our 'circle'?” He laughed.

Laura shook her head, “She's just Danny, she's overreacting. She thinks she knows what's best for me in a situation she knows absolutely nothing about.”

“I get that...but that didn't answer my question.” He pointed out.

“She just found out, I didn't tell her.” Laura finally said.

“And she's being a bitch.” He didn't really ask.

Laura nodded, “Yep.”

“Well, like I said, you'd think if she really liked you she'd be happy for you,” He said, “I mean it's pretty obvious whoever this mystery girl is, she makes you happy. And that's cool. _I'm_ happy for you.” He smiled.

“Thanks, Kirsch.” Laura smiled.

“Just promise me when she's ready, I'm the first one that gets to meet her.” He grinned.

“Of course.” Laura chuckled.

“Children.” Laura's dad greeted them as he walked into the room.

“Dad.” Laura rolled her eyes.

“Mr. Hollis.” Kirsch nodded and grinned at him.

“Whatcha been up to?” He asked as he grabbed a glass and started filling it with water.

“Just chillin'” Kirsch said.

“Uh yeah, we just got back a few minutes ago. Everyone else went home.” She said. Kirsch gave her a funny look and she widened her eyes at him.

“Oh, yeah. We're too cool for them anyway.” Kirsch added.

Her dad just snorted, “Right well, I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late.”

“Okay, 'night dad.”

“'Night, Mr. Hollis.”

“Goodnight, kids.” He said and exited the room.

“He doesn't know you're gay yet,” Kirsch remembered out loud, “So you probably lied about what you were doing then, huh?” He smirked.

“Shut up.” She hissed, afraid he might hear.

He laughed, “Relax. Why is it again you don't want him to know? So you can still have chicks over?”

“Shut up.” She chuckled.

“And how's that been going for you?” He teased.

“Shut up!” She laughed.

* * *

 

“So how was Valentine's Day?” Danny asked as she sat down next to Laura Monday morning.

Laura held in the sigh she desperately wanted to let out, “It was great, how was yours?”

Danny shrugged, “Just hung out with the track team. What'd you do?”

“I told you what I was doing,” Laura said, “I don't see how elaborating any further is any of your business.”

“Oh that's funny considering how you always use to ramble on and on about who you had crushes on and how great your exes were to me all the time.” Danny said sarcastically.

“And how long has it been since I've done that?” Laura asked, “Things change. And she's not ready for people to know about her so I'm not saying anything to anyone. Get over it.”

“That's your story, huh?” Danny scoffed.

“There is no _story,_ Danny,” Laura echoed her scoff, “Stop being such an asshole just because I wouldn't go out with you.”

“You really think that's what this is about?” Danny laughed humorlessly.

“What else would it be about?” Laura asked.

“Um, probably the fact that you're dating your fucking teacher.” Danny answered.

Carmilla happened to walk into the room when Danny said that and Laura glanced nervously at her as she tried to ignore them and made her way to her desk, “That is absolutely ridiculous and you know it.” Laura hissed.

“The only thing ridiculous here is that you actually fell for her.” Danny said, sending a glare towards Carmilla.

“Oh. My. God. I'm not talking about this with you anymore. I am not dating _her_ I am not dating _any_ teachers, you're being ridiculous.” Laura sighed and turned her attention to whatever Carmilla was writing on the board.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Danny said. Laura rolled her eyes but didn't respond. The bell signaling for class to start rang as Carmilla finished writing the instructions for class. She pulled out her book and opened it to the right page and started reading. Well, trying to read.

She doesn't understand what Danny's problem is. Sure, she would understand if it was like, some creepy old guy but it's just...Carmilla. There is nothing wrong with Carmilla. Carmilla didn't start this, hell, if she never started coming onto her she would probably just be another one of her students.

And don't even get Laura started on the moral dilemma Carmilla had for _months_ before Laura finally got her to give in.

“Danny,” Carmilla's voice broke her away from her thoughts, “Can I see you for a moment?”

Danny hesitated for a moment before she stood up and walked over to Carmilla's desk. Laura was watching them curiously, wondering what Carmilla was saying to her and how Danny was acting towards her. When she turned back around she quickly looked back down at her book as she returned to her seat with a sigh.

“What was that about?” Laura whispered, trying not to sound too anxious.

Danny was silent for a moment, “I bombed that quiz the other day, she was wondering why since that's the first bad grade she's given me.”

“And?” Laura asked.

“It was nothing, I just forgot to study.” She said.

Laura glanced over at her. _She_ didn't even study and she's pretty sure she got a good grade. Carmilla told her she's not playing favorites when it comes to grading her work so that's not why either.

“Laura.” Carmilla said and she looked up to see her gesturing for her to come to her desk.

She walked up with a grin, “Yes, Miss Karnstein?” She whispered.

Carmilla bit back a smile, “Congrats on the A.” She said, handing her the quiz.

Laura smiled, “Thanks.”

“I kinda think you're just about the only student that ever studies in this class.” Carmilla said.

Laura snorted, “I didn't even study for this one,” Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her, “I just have a very good teacher that I enjoy paying lots of attention to.”

“Charming,” Carmilla chuckled, “Too bad over half of the class seems to think otherwise.”

“I thought you didn't have trouble with them.” Laura said.

“I don't, they do fine on homework which makes sense and they behave during class but quizzes and tests...not so much.” She explained.

“What about extra credit?” Laura suggested, “They're not gonna be very happy with you if they fail.”

“I don't do extra credit,” Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her, “And it's not my job to make it easy for them to pass.”

“Would you do it for me?” She smirked.

“You don't even need it.” Carmilla pointed out.

Laura huffed, “Really.”

“Well, what did you have in mind?” Carmilla asked.

Laura looked at her for a moment and shrugged, “Stuff.”

“Stuff.” Carmilla didn't really ask.

“Yes...” Laura said.

“Like?”

“ _Miss Karnstein.”_ Laura sighed and Carmilla just chuckled.

“Off your game today?”

“Shut up.” Laura rolled her eyes.

“No one is getting extra credit,” Carmilla chuckled, “Not even you. _Especially_ not you.”

Laura narrowed her eyes at her and went back to her seat, “Same thing?” Danny asked. Laura just shook her head, “Of course not.” She mumbled.

Laura sighed and shook her head again but she didn't say anything. Continuing to argue might end up making things worse so she just kept her mouth shut.

Carmilla ended up having all the students go to her desk throughout class, probably under the guise of giving them a talking to but in reality she probably just didn't want to stand up and hand them all out to everyone.

Once class was over, Laura took her time gathering her things as everyone filed out of the room. Once she was sure Danny was gone, she walked up to Carmilla's desk.

“How can I help you, Laura?” Carmilla asked distractedly as she clicked around on her computer.

“Um,” Laura glanced around the room, it was still empty, “I was wondering if you were gonna be busy after school?”

She saw a smile playing on the corner of Carmilla's lips, “Not really, why?”

“Could I come over? And hang out and stuff.” Laura asked.

“More 'stuff' huh?” Carmilla chuckled.

“Carm.” Laura huffed.

She finally turned to face her, “When?”

“When do you usually get home?” She asked.

Carmilla shrugged, “If I'm in a hurry to get home, usually around four.”

“Okay so around four then.” Laura smiled.

Carmilla snorted and Laura heard the students starting to shuffle in the room, “See you then.”

Laura continued smiling as they said bye to each other and she walked out of the room.

Later at lunch, Laura took a snack from the vending machine to the library. She couldn't hang out in Carmilla's room with her anymore but she couldn't just suddenly stop disappearing at lunch so this is what she started doing. Technically students weren't supposed to be in there at lunch but they never locked the doors so some just went in there anyway.

She had been making her way through the DK Eyewitness Books so she made her way to that aisle and grabbed one about cats and sat down on the floor, leaning against the shelf. She opened her cookies and popped one in her mouth as she opened the book and began looking through it. After a minute she heard someone at the end of the aisle clear their throat and she jumped a little as she looked up and saw Danny standing there.

“Oh my god, you scared me,” Laura said, calming down, “What are you doing here?”

Danny just shrugged.

Laura looked at her for a moment, “Did you follow me here?”

Danny moved and sat across the aisle from her.

“Oh my god, you did! What the hell?” Laura exclaimed, closing the book and laying it next to her.

“You should be dating someone who isn't afraid to be seen with you. For whatever reason it may be.” Danny finally said.

Laura rolled her eyes, “That's incredibly insensitive.”

“Was she gonna meet you here?” Danny asked.

“What makes you think she goes here?” Laura asked.

“Technically she doesn't.” Danny said.

“I don't know why you're so intent on cracking down on something that isn't even a thing.” Laura said.

“Really, what would've happened if I didn't interrupt you two that one day?” Danny asked.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Laura said.

“Funny because she kinda looked like she was about to fuck you against her desk.”

“Danny!” Laura's eyes widened.

“I don't know why you think it's okay that she's into you, aside from the age difference, she's our teacher. History teacher. Not sex-ed.” Danny said.

Laura rolled her eyes and stood up, “We've talked about this enough,” She said as she picked up her things and put the book back on the shelf where she got it, “If you value our friendship at all I suggest you leave me alone about this.”

“You know, part of friendship is caring about the people you're friends with, I'm just looking out-”

“You don't know anything about this okay?” Laura interrupted her, “Whether I'm with her or not I think I'm smart enough to make that decision on my own, I'm not a freakin' doormat for everyone to walk all over. As if I would be with someone that's anything like you're making her out to be. I've been through that before I'm not going to do it again.”

“Laura-”

“No, listen to me,” Laura interrupted again, “Leave me alone about this or you can kiss this friendship goodbye. I have never wanted to lose friendships because of my relationships but if you're going to continue being an asshole when you literally have no idea who it even is that I'm seeing or anything about her at all then that's the way it's going to be. So just think about that before you open your mouth next time, got it?”

Danny stared at her for a moment but nodded.

“Okay.” Laura said and walked away. Really one of the last things she wants is to lose any of her friends due to something like this but Danny is pissing her off more and more each word that comes out of her mouth. She's glad she put her foot down but she also can't help but feel she may have just added more fuel to Danny's fire by not exactly denying it that time.

* * *

 

“Do you think she's gonna listen to you?” Carmilla asked, setting her empty takeout box on the coffee table and leaning back against the couch, putting her arm around Laura's shoulders. Laura shrugged and leaned into her as she picked around at the remainder of her own food.

“I don't really wanna talk about it anymore.” Laura said.

She felt Carmilla take in a deep breath, holding it for a moment before she blew it out, “Okay.”

Laura put her box next to Carmilla's and leaned back into her again, “I'm not gonna let her do anything don't worry about it.”

“Why? Are you going to kill her?” Carmilla asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Laura snorted, “ _No.”_

“Just checking,” Carmilla said, “But if you did I'd help you hide the body.”

“Carm.” Laura just laughed.

“What? I got you to laugh didn't I?” She squeezed her shoulder.

“Don't look so proud of yourself, its not hard to make me laugh.” Laura scoffed.

“Its not hard to make you do a lot of things like-”

“Are you trying to say I'm easy?” Laura interrupted with another scoff.

“I mean you did sleep with me on the first date.” Carmilla said.

“Carm!” Laura backhanded her thigh but laughed.

Carmilla smiled at her, “I'm kidding!” She kissed her temple, “I'm trying to cheer you up.”

“I'm sure you and Kirsch would get along fantastically.” Laura said.

“Seriously?” Carmilla laughed.

Laura nodded, “He enjoys teasing me just as much as you do. I'm sure you'd have a blast taking turns.”

“I certainly hope you don't mean physically.” Carmilla said.

“I'm leaving.” Laura snorted and started to get up.

“Calm down,” Carmilla chuckled and pulled her back down, “I'll stop.”

“Yeah yeah,” Laura said, “But really, he already likes you. Like as a teacher and from what little I've said about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I saw him after I left on Saturday. He knew I was on a date but I never told him it was you. But he said he can tell I really like you and that you make me happy. So whoever you are, he's happy for us and I have to let him meet you before anyone else does.” Laura explained.

“Really?” Carmilla asked quietly.

“Really what?”

“He can tell that just by hanging out with you?”

“First of all, he's more perceptive than people give him credit for,” Laura started, “Second of all, it can't be that hard to tell I'm head over heels for someone. You make me happy and considering I'm thinking about you the majority of the time...”

Carmilla was silent for a moment before she spoke, “You make me happy too, you know,” She said, “I know it may not seem like it considering all that's happened but...I want you to know that.”

Laura smiled and snuggled further into her side, “I know.”

Carmilla snorted, “Okay.”

“Can you change the channel now?” Laura asked, “I've seen enough news for the day and I haven't even been paying attention.”

Carmilla tossed the remote into her lap, “Have at it.”

Laura picked it up and immediately turned it to MTV and Girl Code was on, “Oh yay, I haven't seen this one.”

“Teenagers.” Carmilla grumbled.

“Hey!” Laura swatted at her leg again.

“Kidding, dear.” Carmilla snorted and Laura just smiled and shook her head.

* * *

 

Laura didn't go to Carmilla's again until Friday. And then on Saturday. Then a few days the next week. A few more days the next week. She went to her place earlier on Saturday and stayed all day until later that night.

It ended up being an every other day thing. Most of the day on Saturdays. The longer time went on, the longer she ended up staying. Their “dates” consisted of a lot of eating, a lot of sex, some TV/movie watching, sometimes painting, lots of cuddling, talking...anything you can do while being restricted to a single loft.

“Laura,” Her dad stopped her as she was walking towards the door grabbing her coat, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Yeah sure.” She said and put her coat on the back of the couch before she sat down next to him.

“What have you been up to for the last few weeks?” He asked.

Her stomach dropped, “What do you mean?”

“I just mean you've been 'hanging out' a lot more after school and you're gone almost all day and night on Saturdays. You've never spent so much time away from home before.” He explained.

She thought quickly as she shrugged, “I'm graduating soon...I don't really know what's gonna happen after that. I just kinda want to spend time with my friends while I still can.”

“Honey,” He sighed, “Don't lie to me.”

“I'm not lying, dad.” Laura sighed.

“Laura,” He warned, “After Valentine's Day you have been out _all_ the time and you can deny it all you want but I know you didn't just go out with your friends that night. If you're seeing someone I want you to tell me.”

“I'm not seeing anyone, dad, can I go now?” She asked.

He looked at her for a moment, “Fine, I'm not done talking about this though.” He said sternly.

She sighed and grabbed her coat as she stood up and put it on, “I'll see you later, I love you.” She said as she walked out the door.

She needed to figure something out. She wouldn't put it passed him to start calling her friends to see if she's really with them. He did it before when she was with her ex boyfriend to make sure she wasn't lying to see him at night when he didn't want her to. Not that that ever stopped her from seeing him anyway but...that involved a lot of sneaking out and isn't really important right now.

She didn't want to explain the situation to LaF and Perry. Two people kind of knowing is enough for now. And Danny, she would and could never ask her. Even if the situation was different from now, Danny wouldn't want to cover for the girl she likes dating someone else. So there's certainly no way in hell she would cover for her given the way things are.

She got in and started her car and gave it a minute to warm up. She was looking at the contacts in her phone, she got to Kirsch's name and her thumb hovered over it. Would he really be okay with doing this for her?

Before she gave herself much time to start over thinking she tapped his name and closed her eyes as she put her phone to her ear.

“Hey, Hollis.” He answered after a couple rings.

“Hey, Kirsch,” She smiled when she heard his voice, “Do you think we could hang out for a little bit?”

“Sure, what do you wanna do?” He asked.

“Maybe we could get something to eat?”

“Sounds good, Chiptole good? I've been craving it for days.” He said and she could practically see him dramatically rubbing his stomach.

She snorted, “Yeah that's good, meet you there in ten?”

“Sure thing, lil nerd.” He said happily.

“See you soon.” She chuckled and hung up. She immediately called Carmilla.

“What's up, cutie?” She answered.

“Hey um, I have a little problem.” She said.

Carmilla was silent for a moment, “What kind of problem?”

“My dad, he uh, he stopped me on my way out the door,” She said as she carefully backed out of her driveway and started driving, “He's kind of noticed how much I've been out of the house recently.”

“And?” Carmilla asked cautiously.

“ _And,_ he seems to think I'm seeing someone and although I have adamantly denied it, he's not buying it and he's a little pissy that I lied to him.” Laura explained.

“So...”

“So, in the short amount of time between then and now I have been thinking a lot,” She started, “And I need a story that can check out.”

“Yeah...”

“So, I'm not telling LaF and Perry. They'll be too curious. Danny would give me up in the blink of an eye...So, um I called Kirsch.” Laura said.

“And?”

“How would you feel about me asking him to...be my fake boyfriend?” Laura asked quickly.

“Laura...”

“Okay hear me out,” Laura said, “If you were actually my age I could just say I'm hanging out with you but you're not so that causes a problem. He's just about the only one I can ask to do this and since my dad thinks I'm straight and seeing someone, he's never gonna buy the story of us suddenly hanging out so much more than we already do while claiming we're not dating. I'm not gonna force him into it but if he's okay with it I wanna make sure you are first.”

Carmilla sighed, “Okay fine.”

Laura smiled, “Okay another question,” Laura said and Carmilla made a noise signaling for her to continue, “What if I have to tell him...who you are?”

“No,” Carmilla said immediately, “Why would you?”

“Because, he's smarter than everyone gives him credit for, Carm. He's not going to blindly agree to it. He's gonna know there's a reason I can't just say you're my friend and you've been who I'm hanging out with. And if he thinks its because I shouldn't be seeing you for whatever reason, he's not gonna do it.”

“You shouldn't be seeing me.” Carmilla pointed out.

“You know what I mean.” Laura sighed.

“So what on earth makes you think he's going to be okay with you dating your teacher?” Carmilla asked.

“Because,” Laura started, “He has said several times over the last few weeks that he can tell how happy I am because of you and that even though he doesn't know who you are he thinks you're pretty awesome. He's not gonna think you're awesome if he thinks I'm just trying to hide the fact that I have another shitty relationship by adamantly refusing to say who you are. He knows I trust him, I tell him a lot of things I don't tell anyone else and he never says a word to anyone. He'll think it's weird that I think he'd say anything to anyone when so far all he knows is that my girlfriend is in the closet.”

“This is absolutely ridiculous.” Carmilla said.

“I know, I know,” Laura sighed again, “I won't tell him if he doesn't ask but I might not have much of a choice. But if he does, I swear he won't say anything okay, he's probably not even gonna care. He's a teenage boy deep down inside, he'll probably think it's hot.”

Carmilla snorted at that, “You do know that if this doesn't go the way you're hoping, we're going to have to stop this for real, right?” She asked quietly.

Laura pulled into the parking lot and saw Kirsch's truck already there, “I know.” She said quietly as she pulled into the parking spot next to him.

“I suppose you're doing this before you come over then.” Carmilla said.

“Yeah.”

Carmilla sighed, “I'm only letting you do this because I trust you and your judgment. And I care about you enough to do whatever you think you need to do to make this work. Well, almost whatever.”

Laura chuckled, “Thank you, Carm. I'll see you later okay? I'll text you before I leave.”

“Okay, bye, Laura.”

“Bye, Carm.” She smiled and hung up as Kirsch opened her door for her to get out.

“Hey.” She smiled at him.

“Hey.” He smiled back and closed the door behind her before giving her a side hug as the walked to the door.

There was no line so they quickly ordered their food and got their drinks and Laura led them to a booth in the back corner and sat down across from him. They unwrapped their burritos and Kirsch took a bite of his before he finally said something, “You sounded like you needed to talk about something and you're not being very talkative, which is saying something, so I feel like maybe I was right about that.”

Laura nodded as she swallowed her first bite, “I kind of do have something I need to talk to you about.”

“Girl problems?” He asked.

Laura snorted, “No...well, not really. I mean...” She struggled to find her words, “I've been hanging out with her a lot recently and my dad is getting a little suspicious about what I've been up to.”

“What'd you tell him?” He asked curiously.

“Nothing yet...” She said, picking around at the pieces that fell out of her burrito with her fork.

“Yet?”

“I need to figure out what to say...that's what I wanted to talk to you about.” She said quietly.

“Why can't you just say it's a new friend you've been hanging out with?” He asked.

“It's...not that simple.” Laura said.

“Why not?” He asked.

“Because then he'd want to meet her. And that's not really in the cards right now.” Laura explained.

“Okay...” He gave her a confused look.

“I just...he thinks I'm seeing someone behind his back and I can see how he would think that considering how much time I spend with her. So there's not really a way to go about this without him thinking I'm in a relationship with whoever it is”, Laura said, “Right now it's not so much about the fact that she's a girl it's just...”

“Are you about to ask me what I think you're about to ask me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“What do you think I'm about to ask you?” She asked.

“To be your beard.” He smiled.

“My what?” She asked.

“You know when-”

“No, I know what a beard is I just...that's not what I was going to call it.” She interrupted him.

“But that's what it was right?” He asked.

She sighed, “Yeah.”

He laughed, “Never thought I'd see the day.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed, “So does that mean you'll do it?”

“Depends,” He said, “I'm not saying I don't trust you but there's a reason you're not asking Danny or LaF or Perry to collectively cover for you. Danny I understand, although I don't know why she doesn't like her so much. I guess the other two don't know at all?” He asked.

She shook her head, “Not really.”

“Why?” He asked.

“I told you.”

“They're your friends, Laura, why would they say anything if neither of you wanted them to? Especially considering how you never said anything about LaF until they were ready to say it on their own.” He pointed out. Well crap.

“I don't...know. It's really not a big deal.” Laura said.

He just gave her a look, “Do I know her? Does she go to our school?”

“Technically yes.” Laura sighed. She really didn't want to have to tell him but it was looking like she was.

“Sarah? Nicole...um...” He started naming names.

Laura gave him an offended look, “Why would I be dating either of them?”

“I'm getting the 'bad news' girls out of the way so I know that's not why you're not telling anyone.” He explained.

She just chuckled at him, “Well, now you know.”

“Okay not into bad girls, noted,” He chuckled and she just shook her head with a smile, “Amber? Emily? Um...”

“If you're really going through all the girls you can think of that is 'straight' we're gonna be here awhile.” She said before taking one of her last bites.

“Well, give me a hint!” He sighed.

“You know she's not 'bad news' isn't that enough?”

“You could be lying.” He said and she scoffed.

“Fine, think a little...older.”

He furrowed his brow, “You said she goes to our school,” She nodded, “We're seniors.”

“Yep.” She pushed around the pile of rice that ended up on her foil with her fork to have something to look at instead of him.

“That doesn't make sense.” He said.

She glanced up at him and shook her head before continuing to distract herself, “It does. Just think.”

“The only older people are teachers,” He said after a minute. She didn't move or say anything, “Oh my god, Laura is she a teacher?”

She just shrugged, “That's so gross they're all like in their forties.”

She sighed, “Not all of them.”

“Wh...” He started and stopped, “Wait...it's not, no way.”

She looked up at him and he had this dumb grin on his face, “Is it Miss Karnstein?” He leaned across the table and whispered. She gave him a tiny nod, “Dude!” He said much louder in her face, her eyes widening as she jumped back. He leaned back against the booth and laughed.

“What?” She hissed.

“Dude she's so hot!” He beamed at her.

She narrowed her eyes, “Obviously I know this.”

“How in the world-”

“It wasn't easy, trust me.” She sighed.

“Wait _you_ came on to _her?”_ He asked, “Dude! How did you pull that one off?”

“Like I said, it wasn't easy.” She repeated.

“I didn't even know she was into girls thats kind of a bummer,” He said. She raised her eyebrows at him, “I mean like, not for you obviously.” He smiled nervously.

“Yeah...” She said, “You have to swear you won't say a word to anyone. And not like the 'technically I didn't tell them, they figured it out' kind of thing like literally do not even think about letting anyone know, got it?”

“Okay okay, scouts honor.” He said nervously.

“So uh, you approve then?” She asked, sounding just as nervous.

“Yeah! I mean...yeah. You're happy with her and she treats you right, right?” He asked and she nodded, “Okay then, that's cool.”

“So...will you be my 'beard' then?” She asked.

“Of course!” He said happily.

“Thank you so much.” She sighed with relief.

She went through some of the details about what the problem with her dad was and what she needed him to do and he happily agreed to help out. He didn't really care that she's their teacher (he didn't even say anything about it being hot which kind of surprised her but then again he's not a huge douche bag like the other 99% of guys she knows) he gets why people would though but she explained how it came about and decided that she's obviously not in the wrong.

When they were walking to their cars she asked, “So um, if I call you when I leave her place can you meet me and mine at talk to my dad?”

He sighed, “I guess so. I can't believe I'm having the dad talk for a fake girlfriend. If he ends up killing me I hope you know you're responsible.”

“Kirsch.” She laughed.

She glanced at her phone, it was about 5pm, “Okay so...I probably shouldn't be out super late this time so...it'll probably be like around ten is that okay? If you have plans just tell me.”

“Nah, that's cool, I'll see you then?” He smiled as he opened her door for her.

“Yeah, thanks so much again, Kirsch.” She smiled as she climbed in.

“No problem.” He said as he closed the door for her and gave her a thumbs up before walking to the other side of his truck.

She texted Carmilla to let her know she'd be there soon and everything went okay.

* * *

 

Laura snuggled further into Carmilla's side and sighed.

“What's wrong?” Carmilla asked quietly as she traced random patterns on her arm.

Laura grinned at her concern, “Nothing, I just told Kirsch to meet me at my place at ten and it's,” She lifted her head just enough to look at the alarm clock next to the bed, “Nine-thirty.”

“Do you think your dad is going to expect you to hang out at your place more since he knows...well, will know?” Carmilla asked, “To keep an eye on you crazy kids?”

Laura snorted, “Probably,” She sighed, “The weekends are still definitely yours though, I don't care what he says.”

“Defiant.” Carmilla chuckled.

Laura propped herself up on her elbow and brushed Carmilla's bangs out of her face with her other hand, “We just have a couple of months to make it through.”

“And then what?” Carmilla asked.

Laura didn't know what. Was she going to bring Carmilla to her graduation party and “surprise! This is my girlfriend yes I know she was my teacher and no definitely nothing was going on prior to right now!” Plus she had college to think about. She never wanted to go too far away from home anyway, she was afraid to leave her dad by himself plus she's not sure she could go for such long periods of time without seeing him. Now she has another reason to think about staying nearby.

“We'll figure it out,” Laura promised her, “Speaking of which, I was wondering if you could maybe write me a recommendation letter for Buffalo State?”

“Laura you don't need to stay nearby just for me if that's not what you wanna do.”

“It is what I want to do, I've been looking into there since last year. They have a great journalism program and it's only like a half hour from here so I can still see my dad and you when I want to. And putting your narcissism aside, I never wanted to go to school very far away from him anyway.” Laura explained.

Carmilla snorted, “Okay, I'll give it to you Monday morning, is that okay?”

Laura smiled and nodded, “Thank you!” She exclaimed before leaning down and kissing her, “Now, I guess I should get going.” She frowned, climbing over Carmilla and sitting on the edge of the bed grabbing her clothes off the floor and throwing them back on.

Carmilla sat up and rested her chin on her shoulder, “Do you really have to do this tonight?”

“Better sooner than later.” Laura sighed.

“Not even like,” Carmilla started before placing a kiss on her neck, “A little bit later?”

Laura sighed again and stood up quickly, “I'm sorry, I'll let you know how it goes.” She said before giving her another kiss and walking towards the door.

“Wait! Let me walk you out.” Carmilla said, scrambling out of bed quickly grabbing random clothes to put on. Laura stood by the door watching her with a smile.

She finally caught up and walked her down the hallway to the door that led to the store underneath, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” She said and Laura rolled her eyes and grabbed her hands, pulling her closer.

“I'll see you Monday.” She said quietly, interlacing their fingers.

“And I'll have your very detailed letter of recommendation ready for you.” Carmilla smirked.

“Please stick to my academic work, nothing else.” Laura chuckled.

“I'll try,” Carmilla smiled, “Be careful on your way home.”

“Okay,” Laura smiled and reached up to give her a lingering kiss, “Goodnight, Carm.”

Carmilla pulled one of her hands away from Laura's and brushed her hair behind her ear before resting her hand on her cheek, “Goodnight, Laura.” She smiled and gave her another quick kiss.

Laura smiled and reluctantly pulled away from her to open the door. Thankfully she didn't see any customers in the store since it was closing soon and she quickly made her way down the spiral staircase giving Carmilla a quick wave when she reached the bottom. She shot Kirsch a quick text to let him know she was leaving Carmilla's as she walked to her car.

She _really_ hoped her dad would buy this and lay off. At least for a little bit. And if it meant sacrificing some time that she spent with Carmilla well, then that would just have to be okay. She'd rather save their relationship and spend a little time with her then ruin everything and never get to spend time with her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for reading and sorry for not sticking to an update schedule. trying to adult sucks


	6. Total Attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dad talks and brotps and bad porno lines oh my

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which i go hide in the trash again

“I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly,” Laura's dad started, “You're dating...Kirsch.”

“Nope, you heard right.” Laura smiled nervously as she sat next to Kirsch on the couch facing her dad in his chair.

Laura noticed Kirsch nervously fidgeting with his hands and she reached over and put her hand over his as her dad continued, “You two have known each other for as long as I can remember how is this just now happening?”

Kirsch cleared his throat, “Well I, I've sorta had a thing for her for awhile but she's like...my best friend and I didn't really wanna say anything you know? But I decided we're cool enough to make things work even if _this_ didn't work out so I went for it but...it did.” He smiled.

Her dad looked between them for what seemed like forever before he spoke again, “Laura do you think you could give us a minute.”

“Dad that's not necessary.” She said quickly.

“Do you think I don't know what you two have been doing being gone all hours of the day and night together?” He asked.

Laura glanced over at Kirsch nervously, “Dad it's really not necessary,” She repeated, “Like you said we've known each other for forever and we've only been dating for a little over a month. I'm not really... _there_ yet and he respects that.” She said trying not to cringe.

“It's true,” Kirsch said quickly, “And quite frankly I'm not either I mean you probably don't believe that but when you've been friends with someone for so long even if you were into them it's kinda hard to see them like that you know?”

He narrowed his eyes at them, “Then what _are_ you doing?”

“Just hanging out,” Laura said, “Mostly at his house...you know his mom is always home so we usually just chill there and watch movies...I try to play video games with him but...I'm not very good at it.”

Kirsch nodded, “It's true, she blows herself up more than she does the enemies.”

Laura snorted. It is true, she has tried to play his dumb video games and always dies within a few minutes whether by her own hand or someone else's.

After a moment he finally sighed, “Kirsch, I know you're a good kid,” He said and Kirsch beamed, “So I'm going to choose to trust you two. But if I find out you two are lying to me or that you do _anything_ to hurt her at all then we _are_ going to have that talk and trust me, it'll be way worse then than it would be now.”

“I'd never hurt her Mr. Hollis. I know that's like...a cliché response or whatever but like, I got suspended from school for two weeks for beating up that kid she was dating a couple years ago that hurt her.” Kirsch said.

“I remember.” He said, trying not to smile.

“I really care about her, I'm not gonna screw it up. I promise.” He said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She couldn't help but smile.

“Alright well, I hope you know you don't have to hoard her at your house anymore. You can hang out here too.” Her dad said.

Laura held in her sigh, she knew he was going to suggest that.

“Alright, its getting kinda late,” Laura said as she stood up, “You should get home before your mom starts to worry.”

“Right,” Kirsch said as he took Laura's hand that she was holding out for him and standing up, “Goodnight Mr. Hollis.” He nodded his head at him as she pulled him to the door.

She opened it and followed him out onto the porch, closing the door behind them, “You really didn't have to do this.”

“I know,” He smiled, “But what kind of friend would I be if I didn't?”

She chuckled and looked down, “I kinda thought he was gonna be a little worse than he was...I guess he really does like you.”

“Laura please, dads love me.” He said confidently.

She laughed again, “You know I wouldn't have asked you to do this if I thought there was any other way.”

“I know. And I also know you wouldn't have asked me to do this if you weren't totally serious about her. I also know she wouldn't have agreed to let you ask me if she wasn't serious about it either.”

Laura smiled, “Yeah.”

“Your dad is totally watching us from his chair through the window by the way.” He said quietly like he'd be able to hear him.

She snorted, “Thank you so much.” She said as she took a step forward and hugged him.

“Any time, lil nerd.” He said, hugging her back and ruffling her hair.

She swatted his hand away with another laugh, “I'll see you later, _nerd.”_ She said as she playfully pushed him away.

“Yeah yeah,” He said as he hopped off the porch and turned around and blew her a kiss, “Goodnight, my love.” He said clutching his chest dramatically.

She snorted and rolled her eyes, “Watch where you're going before you hurt yourself.” She said about the time he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk.

“Bye.” She said rolling her eyes again.

He scoffed as he opened his car door, “Bye!”

She waited until he drove away until she went back inside

“Kirsch, huh?” Her dad asked before she could make a break to her room.

She sighed, “Yeah.”

“Thanks for finally being honest with me...Although I don't know why you thought you needed to keep it from me,” He said and she raised her eyebrows at him, “Okay maybe I do.” He laughed.

She snorted, “I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning.” She said and kissed his cheek as she walked by.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He called after her as she made her way into her room.

Once she changed into her pjs and crawled under the covers she grabbed her phone and texted Carmilla.

_L: Everything went fine, he wasn't as tough as I thought he would be :)_

_C: That's good :) are you going to bed now?_

_L: Technically yes considering I'm laying in bed but I'm not super tired  
L: I just needed an excuse to not talk to my dad anymore tonight_

_C: I see...do you wanna talk about it?_

_L: No, everythings fine. I'll tell you about it later if you want_

_C: I'm sure you would even if I didn't want_

_L: Hey  
L: Although that may be true..._

_C: May be?_

_L: Whatever :P what are you doing?_

_C: Unexciting teacher things_

_L: This late?_

_C: Its only midnight, cupcake. I always put off grading and whatnot until I absolutely need to do it_

_L: Sounds like you have your priorities in order_

_C: Well I could've done it earlier but my priority then was doing you ;)_

Laura snorted. She has also learned over the course of the last month that her broody teacher girlfriend was also a huge _dork_ and she loved it. Not that she didn't figure that out before but she was more comfortable showing her that side ever since they became...official.

_L: Like I said, your priorities are in order_

_C: Mhmm, anyway, I need to finish this and you need your beauty sleep_

_L: Are you trying to say I'm ugly??_

_C: Nooo, cutie, you just need to stay not ugly I can't be seen with you otherwise_

_L: You can't be seen with me anyway...also rude._

_C: I'm kidding, you know I think you're beautiful_

Laura pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled, turning her face into her pillow for a moment.

_L: Yeah yeah_

_C: Get some sleep, cutie, I'll talk to you tomorrow_

_L: Fine, don't stay up too late_

_C: Ok, mom. Sweet dreams_

Laura continued smiling and snorted.

_L: You too :) goodnight <3_

She sat her phone on her nightstand and flicked her lamp off, snuggling further into her bed, still smiling.

* * *

 

Laura walked into Carmilla's classroom Wednesday during lunch arm in arm with Kirsch. Carmilla gave them a look as they made her way to stand in front of her desk, both of them with ridiculous smiles on their faces.

“Is there something I can help you two with?” She finally asked.

“I wanted to formally introduce you guys,” Laura smiled, “Kirsch this is my wonderful girlfriend Carmilla, Carmilla this is my amazing best friend Kirsch.”

Kirsch held his hand out to shake Carmilla's and she just looked at it for a moment before taking it in hers hesitantly.

“Nice to meet you.” He beamed.

“Likewise,” Carmilla said, “Do you wanna tell me what this is really about?” She asked, glancing towards the door.

Laura instinctively followed her line of sight just to make sure everything was okay, “I just thought this would be nice, you know,” She smiled, looking back at her, “Also he wants to talk to you.”

Carmilla raised her eyebrows, “Oh really.”

Kirsch nodded and cleared his throat, “As Laura's best friend...and beard...I just wanted to see for myself if you're as-”

“I'm gonna stop you right there, beefcake,” Carmilla interrupted him, “I care about Laura...a lot...otherwise we wouldn't be here right now. I can't promise I'm not going to hurt her because this is a very _very_ sensitive situation and she understands if even one thing goes wrong we might have to end it because as much as I care about her, I also care about not going to jail and losing my chance to ever teach again. But I'm going to do everything that I can to make sure that doesn't happen. Good enough, dad?”

Laura laughed at the expression on Kirsch's face. She knew Carmilla was being serious but the way she says things most of the time she sounds like a sarcastic asshole. He glanced down at her for a moment and she continued smiling up at him.

“Uh, yeah I guess.” He finally said.

“Great. Anything else, cupcake?” Carmilla asked, smiling at Laura.

Laura looked up at Kirsch who now seemed to be trying to look anywhere but at Carmilla. She laughed again, “I think we're good.”

“Okay. See you later?” Carmilla asked and Laura nodded.

“Can't wait,” She smiled and glanced at the door before leaning down and giving her a quick kiss, “Have a good day.”

Carmilla hummed, “You too, cutie.”

Laura bit her lip and smiled before shooing Kirsch out the door, “She's kind of intense.” He said once they were out of the room.

“She'd kill me ever she ever knew I told you this but it's all a facade,” Laura told him, “She's sweet.”

“I'd find that hard to believe but the hearts coming out of her eyes when she looked at you convinced me enough.” He said.

Laura snorted, “She'll warm up to you if necessary.”

“Kinda hoping its not necessary,” He admitted and she laughed, “Can we go eat now?”

“Of course, _sweetie._ ” She said and he just chuckled.

* * *

 

“Hey.” Laura said as she walked into Carmilla's classroom during lunch Friday, closing the door behind her.

“If you're here to have your fake boyfriend try to make friends with me again-”

“I'm alone,” Laura laughed and Carmilla turned to her and raised her eyebrow at her, “Guess what.” She said quietly as she reached Carmilla and sat across her lap.

“What?” Carmilla asked hesitantly.

“Danny isn't here today.” She said, placing a kiss at the corner of her lips.

“So that means...?”

“It means I don't have to worry about her following me here.” Laura explained quietly.

“Just because she's not here-”

“Okay,” Laura stood up, “I'm sorry, I know you said no more of anything at school-”

“No,” Carmilla stood up and grabbed her hand, interrupting her, “I mean, you do know she's not the only one we need to worry about right?”

Laura sighed and turned to her, “I know, that's what dark rooms and locking doors are for right?” Carmilla just snorted and shook her head, “Come on,” She said, lowering her voice and stepping into her space, “You can't tell me you haven't ever imagined fucking me on your desk.”

Carmilla let out a breathy laugh, “Believe me, I have.” She said, backing her up against it.

Laura smirked and reached up to cup the back of Carmilla's neck, pulling her in for a kiss, “Too bad that's not gonna happen.” She said against her lips.

Carmilla opened her mouth to question her but was quickly shut up when Laura turned them around, switching their positions, pinning her against the desk with another kiss. She shoved her leg between Carmilla's, earning a small whimper from her.

“I can't help but feel like this should be the other way around.” Carmilla said breathlessly when Laura moved her mouth to her neck.

“That's a little cliché, don't you think?” Laura asked, placing a final kiss to her pulse point before pulling back to look her in the eye, “I've been a bad girl, Miss Karnstein. Teach me a lesson,” She said in a mockingly seductive voice, “School me.” She smirked.

Carmilla laughed, “Don't say that ever again.”

“Why? It's practically the start of a bad porno.” Laura chuckled.

“That's why.” Carmilla said.

“You're the one who said it should be the other way around,” Laura pointed out as she started working on undoing Carmilla's jeans, “You know if you really want to we can do it your way...later at your place.”

“Always gotta have your way huh?” Carmilla asked and Laura just smirked at her as she yanked her jeans down her legs.

“Off.” Laura said when she got them piled around her ankles. Carmilla kicked them off to the side with a smirk of her own.

“Now what, boss?”

Laura rolled her eyes and tried not to laugh. She stepped forward and put her hands on her waist, running them up under her shirt, “Stop being a smartass.” She said, kissing her again.

“You know you love it.” Carmilla smirked.

Laura snorted and ran her hands down to her thighs, squatting down just a bit, “Up.” She said, grabbing the back of her legs, helping her up onto the desk.

“You're very bossy today.” Carmilla smirked, wrapping her legs around Laura's waist, pulling her back up against her.

“You know you love it.” She mocked.

“Can't really argue with you there.” Carmilla said, pulling her back in for another kiss. She tangled her fingers in Laura's hair while Laura's hands ran up and down her thighs.

“You know, honestly, most of these scenarios, it was the other way around.” Laura said, absently running her hands up under Carmilla's shirt, squeezing over her bra. She was looking at Carmilla but she wasn't really _looking_ at Carmilla. She was thinking about all the ways she imagined this before.

“Care to share with the rest of the class?” Carmilla teased.

Laura snorted and shook her head, “Maybe later.” She said, returning her attention to the girl in front of her.

Carmilla's breath hitched when Laura yanked her bra down and squeezed harder, rolling her nipples between thumb and index fingers, “Right now I just wanna _show_ you this one.” She added, pulling one of her hands out from under her shirt and grabbing the collar of it, yanking it to the side and attaching her lips to her shoulder. She bit hard and sucked on her skin, purposely leaving a mark knowing that no one _should_ see it there.

“We only have so much time during lunch,” Carmilla pointed out, “As fun as this is could you hurry it along?”

Laura huffed and pulled away from her, “Fine,” She said, grabbing the waistband of her panties, yanking them down her legs, “Anything you say, _Miss Karnstein.”_ Laura smirked as she sunk to her knees in front of her. She kissed along the inside of her thighs as she put her legs over her shoulders.

Carmilla grabbed a handful of Laura's hair and tried to pull her face where she wanted. Laura chuckled, “God you're so impatient.” She said before running her tongue flat against her.

“Oh god.” Carmilla moaned, her hips jerking forward at the sudden contact. Laura moaned against her in response as her tongue and lips continued working around her clit.

Laura could hear Carmilla's heavy breathing above her as she tried to keep her moans to a bare minimum, which she understood but...

She shoved to fingers in her without warning, causing her to cry out louder. As she was hoping it would, “Jesus christ.” Carmilla moaned again. Laura heard a thud as the older girl shifted on the desk and she had to throw her free hand over her waist to keep her hips under control. She opened her eyes and glanced up at Carmilla who had laid back on the desk and had the arm not attached to the hand tangled in Laura's hair thrown over her face.

“Fuck, Laura.” Carmilla drawled out. Laura moaned against her again at the sound of her name coming out of Carmilla's mouth as she continued licking and sucking and pumping her fingers in and out of her.

She felt her starting to tighten around her fingers and began thrusting harder, curling her fingers each time she flicked her tongue over her clit. Carmilla was becoming more restless and a little louder despite covering her mouth with her arm. Then suddenly the heels of Carmilla's feet were digging into her back and Carmilla's own back was arching off the desk as a string of explicits and Laura's name came pouring out of her mouth repeatedly.

Laura let her ride it out, slowing down and finally pulling out of her and standing up. Carmilla took a moment but moved her arm and opened her eyes to see the younger girl smirking at her before putting her fingers in her mouth, licking them clean.

Carmilla groaned as she watched her and sat up, starting to move to get off the desk.

Laura put her hand to her chest and stopped her, “We aren't done,” She said, “Scoot back.”

Carmilla glanced around her at the clock on the wall as she did what she was told, “We only have like ten minutes.”

“Then don't mess around.” Laura smirked as she climbed up on the desk, straddling her. She grabbed Carmilla's wrist and pulled her hand up under her skirt between her legs.

“Oh my god.” Carmilla groaned we she realized Laura wasn't even wearing underwear.

“I came prepared.” Laura smirked.

“Yeah.” Carmilla said, running her fingers through her folds before pushing two inside her.

Laura's jaw dropped in a silent moan and her eyes shut tight as she rocked her hips against Carmilla's hand. She rested her hands on Carmilla's shoulders to brace herself as she continued moving her hips in time with Carmilla's movements.

“Look at me.” Carmilla demanded.

Laura moaned and opened her eyes as she shoved Carmilla back down onto her back, moving her hips harder and faster. The desk started creaking under their weight and movement, “If you break my desk I swear to-”

“God,” Laura groaned both finishing her sentence and interrupting her, “Just fuck me and shut up.” She said, snapping her eyes shut again, her brows furrowing in concentration.

Carmilla began moving her fingers faster and curling them, “I'm not letting you come unless you open your eyes and look at me.” Laura made an incoherent sound but didn't listen to her so she slowed down threatening to stop.

Laura squeezed harder at her shoulders and opened her eyes as she slammed her hips back down onto Carmilla's hand so she'd keep going.

She stared into Carmilla's eyes which was alarmingly intimate, not that it hasn't happened before but the way she was looking at her was intense. She almost wanted to close her eyes or look away again but she also _really_ wanted to come before the stupid bell rang and she was _so_ close, “God, right there.” She moaned when her fingers hit a particularly delightful spot and Carmilla curled her fingers right there a few thrusts later, swiping her thumb across her clit at the same time and sent Laura tumbling over the edge.

She dropped her forehead to the hand on Carmilla's shoulder as she rode out her orgasm, muffling her loud moans the best that she could, “Oh my god.” She whispered when they both finally stopped their movements. She crawled off of her and the desk on shaky legs, guiding herself into Carmilla's chair as Carmilla sat up and smirked at her.

“Someone doesn't like being told what to do.” She finally said as she hopped off the desk, putting her clothes back on.

“Shut up,” Laura rolled her eyes, “I was trying to concentrate. Plus you rushed me and-”

“You should be thanking me instead of being a little shit head.” Carmilla teased, interrupting her as she brought her hand to her chin so she'd look up at her.

“ _Thank you.”_ Laura said with just a hint of a smile on her face.

“That's my girl.” Carmilla snorted and gave her a lingering kiss as the bell rang.

“I think I deserve a thank you too.” Laura said.

Carmilla scoffed, “That _was_ your thank you. Now get out, we have classes soon.”

Laura tried to look offended, “Fine.”

Carmilla smiled at her, “I'll see you later, cutie.” She said as she followed her to the door.

“Please don't follow me to the bathroom.” Laura chuckled.

“I'm going to the other one,” Carmilla smiled, “Now go.” She said, opening the door.

Laura made a kissy face at her before she walked away down the hall. Thank god Danny wasn't at school today.

* * *

Sunday she was “hanging out” with Kirsch at her place. Apparently hanging out meant coming over to watch some baseball game with her dad. Spring training? First of all it's not even spring, second of all they don't show football training do they? Why is it a thing for baseball...or is it like their preseason...

“He was out!!” Kirsch yelled as he almost jumped off the couch, his arm flying from around Laura's shoulder, almost taking her with him, “Tell me you saw that!” He exclaimed, looking at Laura who was still leaning forward with a look of annoyance on her face.

“I saw it!” Her dad said.

“Dear god.” She mumbled under her breath as she leaned back against the couch. She almost snuggled back into Kirsch's side when he sat back but then decided she didn't want to go flying across the room next time he freaked out over something.

She pulled her phone from her sweatshirt pocket and texted Carmilla.

_L: Save me_  
L: SOS  
L: Carm pls  
L: Help

_C: Stop blowing up my phone, what's wrong?_

Laura scoffed to herself. So concerned.

_L: Boys_

_C: Gross_

_L: I know save me I said_

_C: How?_

_L: Distract me?_

_C: What are you wearing?_

_L: …..really?  
L: Shorts and Kirsch's sweatshirt..._

_C: Ew_

_L: What?? I always wear this one, it's so big and cozy :)_

_C: I'm sure you look adorable_

_L: You're a bad sexter_

_C: Who said I was sexting you?_

_L: You asked me what I was wearing??_

_C: And?? Don't you wanna know what I'm wearing?  
C: A tank top and your fave Miami U sweatpants :)_

_L: Cozy..._

_C: I think so_

_L: Yeah...  
L: What are you doing?_

_C: Talking to a cutie  
C: Oh and talking to you_

Laura snorted and shook her head.

_L: Wow you're so charming_

_C: Says the girl who fell for me like 3 seconds after seeing me ;)_

_L: SAYS THE GIRL THAT WHINED ABOUT IT FOR 5 MONTHS_

_C: Calm down, cutie. You still got what you wanted_

_L: YEAH. And I'm still stuck here with my dad and Kirsch_

_C: What would you be doing here that you're not doing there?_

_L: Probably cuddling with you. It's my favorite part of spending time with you_

_C: Talk about being bad at sexting_

_L: CARM._

_C: I'M KIDDING. Man, you'd think after a couple months you'd be able so sense my sarcasm through texts_

_L: ANYWAY  
L: I miss you_

_C: You just saw me a few hours ago_

_L: Honestly._

“Stop smiling at your phone so much before your dad notices.” Kirsch whispered in her ear.

_L: Stop making me smile before I get caught_

_C: No can do, I love your smile_

_L: You can't even see me :P_

_C: Doesn't matter_

_L: You're such a sap_

“Laura,” Her dad interrupted, “I asked if you and Kirsch wanted to run and get some pizza before the next game starts.”

“Oh,” Laura smiled nervously at him, “Yeah that's fine.”

“I'll call and order, you guys go ahead and go.” He said and Kirsch stood up and helped her up off the couch.

“I'll drive since my truck is behind your car,” Kirsch smiled as they walked out the door, “Then you can keep texting your bae.”

“Shut up.” Laura smiled as she climbed in the passenger side.

“It's cute,” Kirsch said, “I still can't believe she actually has a soft side.”

“She's not even that bad in class.” Laura scoffed.

“She's very intimidating.” Kirsch said.

Laura laughed, “That's hilarious.”

“Its true!” He exclaimed.

Laura smiled and shook her head, checking the last message Carmilla sent her.

_C: Don't tell anyone :*_

_L: Don't worry_

_C: Mmkay  
C: Can I text you later? I'm about to eat and grade some quizzes_

_L: Of course :)_

_C: Sorry I couldn't distract you more_

_L: It's fine, thanks. Have a good evening, Carm <3_

_C: You too, cupcake_

Laura sighed and put her phone in her pocket and Kirsch looked over at her, “I'm glad you found someone that deserves to be with you.”

Laura turned to him, still smiling, “Yeah?”

He nodded, “Yeah.” He said, reaching over and ruffling her hair.

She batted his arm away, “I told you to stop doing that!”

“I forgot.” He shrugged.

Laura scoffed, “Yeah right.” She said, doing the same to him.

“Hey! Don't distract the driver!” He exclaimed, dramatically batting her hand away.

“Dork.” She laughed.

* * *

 

Laura left for school a little bit early with the intention of having a chance to see Carmilla for a few minutes before class started. However when she walked into the room she wasn't expecting to see Danny sitting in a chair across from her. Her stride faulted a little bit which caused her shoe to squeak against the floor causing both of their heads to turn to the door upon the interruption.

She smiled nervously and gave them a little wave as she made her way to her own desk, “Thought I'd come in to finish the assignment from Thursday before class starts.” She said as she sat down.

Carmilla shook her head with a tiny smile before she started speaking again so Danny would turn her attention back to her. Laura did have a little bit left of the homework to do. LaFontaine had dragged her into a discussion with Perry about something she didn't even know much about just to prove a point to her and pretty much distracted her for the rest of the class.

So she pulled the book out from under her desk and found the homework in her notebook and began working while simultaneously trying to hear what Carmilla was saying to Danny. She was showing her some papers and pointing things out on it but talking too quietly for her to make out anything more than quiet mumbles.

“Sorry if I interrupted a private moment for you two,” Danny said when she finally came to her seat. Laura just closed her eyes and took in a slow, deep breath, ignoring her and continuing on her work, “The French and Spanish Clubs are going to an international festival in the city tomorrow so we won't be in class. I was getting the homework from her. Got some stuff due Thursday and a paper to write about the chapter due Monday.”

“Sounds fun.” Laura said.

“The trip or the homework?” Danny asked.

“The homework,” Laura said sarcastically, “The trip.”

“Oh, yeah it is. We go every year in case you forgot.” Danny reminded her.

“I'm aware.” Laura refrained from rolling her eyes.

“I think you've been hanging out with your girlfriend too much.” Danny mumbled.

Laura _did_ roll her eyes this time. Danny hasn't bothered her as much ever since that day in the library but it was obvious she was still firmly under the belief that Laura was lying to her. But Laura hasn't been with Carmilla like, at all during school ever since Valentine's day...well minus Friday but that didn't count because the only reason that happened was because Danny was absent. But there wasn't really much of a reason for Laura to continue telling Danny she was even seeing someone. She's pretty sure Kirsch would cover for her with Danny as well if need be.

“I don't even have a girlfriend anymore.” Laura said and Danny's head whipped towards her.

“What?” She asked.

“We broke up not too long ago.” Laura shrugged.

“Why?” Danny asked.

“Her family situation isn't the greatest and her not being out yet didn't help much...not that being out would make anything better...It would actually make it worse. So, she's just not ready yet you know?” Laura said, literally off the top of her head.

Danny nodded, “Yeah I guess. I'm sorry.”

“It's fine.” Laura waved her off.

“So...” Danny started off hesitantly, “You weren't lying about...her.”

Laura snorted, “I only told you that like nine hundred times.”

Danny chuckled, “Yeah...I guess I just...I don't know. I'm sorry.”

“It's fine. Can we just not talk about it ever again?” Laura asked.

“Yeah.” Danny nodded.

“Great.” Laura said.

“So...Since you're single again...” Danny said.

“Please don't.” Laura sighed.

“Just testing the waters.” Danny said quickly.

Laura sighed and turned to her, “I used to kinda like you like that...I mean you kinda know that but, at this point I'm not willing to risk our friendship over it you know?”

“I get it.” Danny nodded.

“Okay.” Laura said slowly before turning back to her homework.

“Why so glum?” LaF asked when they walked in the room behind Perry.

“I um, Laura told me she broke up with her girlfriend.” Danny said.

“Aw, damn, L. Sorry to hear that.” LaF said as they sat down on her other side.

Laura shook her head, “It's fine I swear, it wasn't super serious so...It's fine. I'm fine.” She reassured both of them.

“Alright, cool.” LaF said, not pressing any further. Laura hadn't even noticed everyone else filing into the room before the bell rang and Carmilla started class.

She was glad there wasn't more time for Danny to keep talking to her. And she was glad she seemed to have gotten her off her back about seeing someone...specifically the fact that she thought she was seeing Carmilla. Which was obviously true but she needed her to not think that. Which she hopes she accomplished. It kinda seemed like it was too easy though.

* * *

 

Laura went to Carmilla's Wednesday, just for dinner, since she had a lot of homework to do (partly because of her class) and she had just left and was walking down the stairs in the corner of the shop when she looked up and saw an unmistakably tall red haired girl browsing the store. Her eyes widened and she stopped, immediately running back up the stairs and nearly into the door as she struggled to push it open.

“Carm!” She hissed down the hallway at Carmilla who was about to reach her door.

Her head whipped around with a confused look on her face, “What?” She asked, slowly making her way back towards the younger girl that was freaking out.

“Danny is down there!” She whispered loudly as if Danny would actually hear her.

“Then I'll walk you down out back.” Carmilla shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

“My car is at the side of the building and you can clearly see it through the window of the store!” Laura whined, “She probably saw it when she got here. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one within a five thousand mile radius with a piece of crap like that so it's hard to mistake it for someone else's.”

Carmilla snorted, “Calm down, cutie. First of all your car is not a piece of crap,” She said and Laura scoffed quietly, “Second of all just because your car is there doesn't mean you need to be in this building, there are shops all the way down this street you could've walked to the others since it's finally starting to be nice out.”

“But I am in this building. That's the problem.” Laura pointed out.

“I'm almost one hundred percent positive she has no idea I live here so why would it matter?” Carmilla asked.

Laura's face scrunched up and she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Carmilla's waist and resting her forehead on her shoulder, “What would I say if I just appeared out of nowhere. I have no family members I can fake living here.”

Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura and sighed, “Then come back and wait a few minutes, I'm sure we can find something to pass the time.” She said suggestively.

“I can't have sex with you when the person hellbent on ruining our lives is downstairs!” Laura exclaimed.

“I thought you said you took care of that.” Carmilla reminded her.

“I did!” Laura reassured her, “But I'm still not completely sure she totally buys it.”

Carmilla sighed, “Okay.” She said, pulling her back towards her place.

“I'm sorry,” Laura sighed too, “I'm just trying really hard not to mess this up and it's not even really for the sake of our relationship but because I don't want anything to happen to you.”

Carmilla smiled, “I know, cutie.”

Laura stopped walking though, “I need to go, if I stay longer I won't wanna leave,” She smiled a little, “I'll figure something out if she sees me.”

“Are you sure?” Carmilla asked.

Laura nodded, “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Carmilla said cautiously, “I'm sure you'll be fine.” She the assured her.

Laura smiled and gave her a quick kiss, “I'll see you in the morning.” She said before starting back towards the exit.

“Have a good night, cupcake.” Carmilla said after her.

Laura took a deep breath and shot her another smile before opening the door and nearly darting down the stairs. She spotted Danny, looking the other way, and she began making her way down another aisle towards the door. Danny turned around and Laura almost fell trying to duck down behind the shelf. She faked looking at tiny dog figurines when an older lady gave her a look of annoyance.

She was about to stand up when Danny turned down her aisle, “I thought I saw you over here!” She smiled.

Laura looked up at her, faking her surprise, “Oh hey! I didn't even see you!”

“I'm here looking for a birthday present for my grandma,” She told her, “Not having much luck.”

“Oh yeah,” Laura said, “Not much in here.”

“What are you doing here?” Danny asked curiously.

“Uh,” Laura started nervously, “Perry's birthday is coming up you know...just trying to find something for her. She's always hardest to buy for.”

Danny nodded, “Very true. I don't really know if she'd be very into a figurine of a dog though.”

“I was just looking at them,” Laura said, “They're cute.”

“Gonna start collecting them?” Danny laughed.

“ _No.”_ Laura said as her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and it was Carmilla asking if she made it okay. She immediately hit the power button so the screen would turn off again and shoved it back into her pocket.

“Everything okay?” Danny asked, giving her a curious look.

“Yeah, yeah, just my dad,” Laura said, “He wants me to come back soon. So I should probably get going.”

“Okay...see you at school then?” Danny asked.

“Yeah!” Laura said, “See ya then.” She smiled and turned around to leave.

“Hey!” Danny called after her and she turned around, “Are you doing anything Friday?”

“I'm hanging out with Kirsch, actually.” Laura said. Which actually wasn't untrue.

“Oh,” Danny sighed, “I just...I feel really bad about everything that happened and-”

“It's fine, Danny. Really.” Laura reassured her. Anything to get her off the topic.

“Okay,” Danny said, “I'll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah.” Laura smiled and exited the store uninterrupted. She sent Carmilla a quick text telling her it went okay and she got in her car and headed home.

* * *

 

“I bet Miss K would like Mario Kart you should take it to her place sometime.” Kirsch said as he sat on his couch playing one of his shooting games.

Laura was laying down with her legs across his lap watching. She was trying to think of things for her and Carmilla to do the next time they were together and she didn't feel like dying every five seconds from being distracted.

“I'm pretty sure that would end up being a disaster.” Laura laughed just thinking about it.

“Everyone loves Mario Kart.” Kirsch said.

“We'll see,” Laura laughed again, “I just, I wanna do something that's like...not cooped up in her apartment and that's out of the question. Like she won't even consider it.”

“Can you really blame her?” He asked.

“Well no,” Laura sighed, “But...she won't even try like going to the city or anything like that. How likely is it that we'd run into someone we know there? Or anywhere that's not here?”

He shrugged, “There is the possibility that someone could see you before you get out of town.”

Laura sighed again, “I just want to take her to a nice restaurant or a movie or both or just on a walk and holding hands and just having a nice time out together like the sort of relationship she deserves. Not cooped up at her place having dinner and watching TV or movies or whatever all the time like we're on repeat or something.”

“At least you do that. She could have just chosen to not be with you.” Kirsch pointed out.

“You're not helping at all.” Laura rolled her eyes.

“I don't know what you want me to say!” He exclaimed. His eyes were still trained on the TV. She was impressed at his ability to hold a somewhat interactive conversation and still remain unscathed on the game, “Maybe you could like...meet her out of town somewhere or something?”

“I don't wanna drive too far though because I hate driving at night by myself and I don't want her to have to do it either.” Laura explained.

“Make her hide in the backseat or something then.” He said.

“That's a little dramatic don't you think?”

“Well if it's the only way you can get her to go somewhere with you then...”

“Why don't you drive?” Laura asked, “My dad likes when you pick me up for our 'dates' anyway and it's a good way to convince him we're actually together and-”

“I'm not gonna be a third wheel, Laura. I'll happily cover for you when need be but-”

“Aren't you friends with some of the guys that go to school there? You can hang out with them or something.” Laura suggested.

“Laura-”

“Come on, Kirsch, please?” Laura sat up and gave him a pouty look.

“She'd still have to hide,” He pointed out as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, “How do you even know she's going to approve of this?”

“I have my ways,” Laura said, “Don't worry about it.”

“I wanna know what that means but at the same time I feel like I'd regret ever hearing it.” Kirsch mumbled.

Laura snorted, “Please, Kirsch.”

“Ugh fine,” He gave in and Laura squealed quietly, “I better not regret this.”

“You won't, I promise!” She lunged forward to hug him.

“Whoa!” He exclaimed, leaning away from her, practically laying down, “You're gonna make me mess up!”

“Good! Stop playing and plan my date with me!” She laughed as he tried to lean further away as she reached for the controller.

“Ew no,” He said trying to push her off him, “I'm just a chauffeur.”

“Kirsch.” Laura whined, bracing herself with one hand on his chest as she leaned forward to try to get the controller out of his hand. She heard an awful noise come from the TV and she glanced over just as Kirsch sighed.

“See you made me get shot!” He exclaimed with another sigh, setting the controller on the coffee table.

“Oops.” Laura smiled and patted his chest.

“ _Kids.”_ Kirsch's mom said from the doorway to the kitchen and Laura sat back quickly and smiled at her.

“Hi, Mrs. Kirsch.” She said.

“Hi, Laura,” She eyed them as she scooted away from Kirsch as he sat back up as well, “Are you going to be staying for dinner?”

“I'd love to,” Laura smiled, “But I promised my dad I'd be home in time for dinner.”

“Alright then,” She said, “Ours will be ready soon.” She said, looking at Kirsch pointedly before walking away.

“I don't know how, she literally just got home.” Kirsch said.

Laura snorted, “I think she probably just wants me to leave.”

“Well I do too, you made me die.” He said with a pout.

“Oh please,” Laura laughed as she stood up, “But I am going to. I'm gonna call Carm and talk to her about this and I'll let you know okay?”

He stood up and followed her to the door, “Sounds like a plan...I guess.”

“You're the best.” She smiled and opened the door.

“I know.” He smiled.

She rolled her eyes, “I'll see you later.”

“Later.” He said as she walked out the door. She turned and gave him a little wave when she hopped off the porch and pulled out her phone as she got into her car.

“Hey.” Carmilla said when she answered.

“Hey,” Laura smiled upon hearing her voice, “I have a plan I'd like you to hear out.”

“What kind of plan?” Carmilla asked hesitantly.

“The kind that gets you and me out of your apartment and on a real date.” Laura explained.

“Laura we've talked about this.”

“Yes and you absolutely refuse to actually talk about it and give it a chance.” Laura pointed out.

“Fine, talk.” Carmilla sighed.

And Laura told her the plan, about going out of town and Kirsch and everything. Now it was just a matter of convincing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the "school me" i had to do it lmao. also is danny getting her shit together??? will carmilla actually agree to go on this date????? find out in the next installment. probably not the same bat time but definitely the same bat channel.
> 
> my tumblr is grumpycatmilla for those who were wondering, ask anything you'd like but please for the love of god don't ask me when im updating thanks xoxo


	7. Lost In Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one that includes an actual date, a mario kart date, and some tissues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not joking grab some tissues

“Oh my god.” Carmilla groaned as she laid across Laura's backseat with her feet propped up next to the window as Laura and Kirsch got _way_ to into 'Uptown Funk' in the front seats.

“Girls hit your hallelujah,” Laura sang pointing to Kirsch who added the “Woo!” every time.

“'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to ya!” Laura sang.

“'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to ya!” Kirsch jumped in.

“Holy shit.” Carmilla said as she planted her hand over her face as they continued.

“Saturday night and we in the spot!” Kirsch sang.

“Don't believe me just watch!” They both yelled at the same time, “Come on!”

They both danced in their seats, singing the words as they came along.

Carmilla finally gave up as the next verse started and she sat up, leaning between them to turn the radio down, “Sometimes you painfully remind me what a teenager you are, tell me again why I agreed to this?” She asked as she sat back, not bothering to lay back down as she noticed they were out of the main part of town.

Laura rolled her eyes, “You agreed to do this because I think you kinda like me and dislike being cooped up in your apartment all the time.”

“I don't like you anymore.” Carmilla said.

“Oh please.” Laura scoffed.

“Also remind me again why the beefcake had to tag along?” Carmilla said.

“He's driving so we can make out in the backseat on the way home.” Laura said.

“Please don't.” Kirsch's face bunched up.

Laura laughed, “He's driving because....okay I don't really have a good reason. Other than I don't like driving at night,” She said, “And because we can't cuddle if one of us is driving.” Laura said as she took her seat belt off and began climbing in the backseat.

“What the hell!?” Kirsch exclaimed leaning away from her, “Get your ass out of my face!”

“Give me a sec!” Laura said as she struggled. She fell back, half on Carmilla and shuffled up next to her, “Hey.” She smiled, hooking her arm with hers and leaning against her.

Carmilla rolled her eyes and shook her head but smiled a little, “Hey.”

“So I was thinking we could see a movie or something,” Laura said as she ran her hand down Carmilla's arm to hold her hand, “I suppose I understand your weariness of sitting in one well lit spot for a long time so I'm not upset at you anymore for not wanting to go to dinner. But I was thinking like maybe ice cream or something after? It's kinda nice out and we could go for a walk or something.” She suggested.

“Sounds good, cutie.” Carmilla said, interlocking their fingers and giving her hand a squeeze.

“Can I get ice cream with you?” Kirsch asked.

“Kirsch.” Laura sighed.

“Fine.” He sighed too.

Laura chuckled and leaned her head against Carmilla's shoulder.

* * *

 

“I'll text you when we're ready to head home, okay?” Laura said before they got out of the car.

“Alright,” Kirsch said, “You kids behave yourselves.”

Laura snorted, “You too.”

She climbed out of the car and smiled at Carmilla who was already standing a few feet from the car waiting for her, “After you.” Carmilla said as she held the door open for her when they reached it.

Laura's smiled widened as she walked through the door and towards the front desk, getting their tickets as Carmilla wandered cautiously behind her. They made their way to the right theater and Laura led her up to the top row, right in the center.

“Carm would you hurry.” Laura said after she sat down and noticed she was about halfway up the stairs.

Carmilla picked up her pace and finally sat next to her, “I'm sorry I'm just a little nervous.”

“I know,” Laura sighed, “But please stop being weird.” She said and grabbed Carmilla's hand and wrapped her arm around her shoulders, leaning into her.

Carmilla adjusted her arm more comfortably and sighed.

“I wish these dumb arm rests went up.” Laura said.

“I don't because I know how handsy you like to get.” Carmilla said.

Laura scoffed, “I do not get handsy. And if I really wanted to I'm sure I could find a way to work around it.”

The lights dimmed and the previews before the movie started playing, “Please control yourself.” Carmilla said.

Laura snorted and tried to get herself comfortable against the arm rest of her seat. She felt Carmilla tense up a little whenever they heard more people walk in. She reached over and grabbed her free hand, “Calm down.” She whispered. Carmilla squeezed her arm in a silent response.

“I can't believe I let you talk me into seeing Cinderella.” Carmilla sighed when the movie finally started.

“Shut up, you know you wanted to see it too.” Laura said.

“Definitely not.” Carmilla said.

“Mhm.” Laura mumbled.

Carmilla chuckled quietly and kissed the side of her head as they both stayed quiet to actually watch it.

Laura _did_ control herself. Mostly. She did start trying to kiss her but Carmilla quickly shut that down. But once the movie was over they sat through the creditswaiting for everyone else to file out before they left.

“You have to admit it was pretty good.” Laura said.

“It was okay.” Carmilla shrugged.

Laura snorted and rolled her eyes, “You ready?” She asked, noticing they were the only ones left.

Carmilla nodded and stood up, making her way down the aisle and stairs. Once they were outside the sun was down but the sky was still colored slightly across the horizon.

“It's weird that its not totally dark yet and its like after eight o'clock,” Laura said as she caught up to Carmilla who was walking briskly across the parking lot, “Seems like not long ago it was pitch black out by six.”

“Well that's what happens when the time changes and the Earth's axis tilts us back towards the sun, cutie” Carmilla said.

“Carm,” Laura rolled her eyes and grabbed her hand, forcing her to slow down, “Quit acting like that, no one we know is going to see us. And you don't even look that much older than me so it's not like we're going to be throwing up any red flags to everyone who walks by us.”

“I'm sure you can understand how stressful this is for me.” Carmilla mumbled.

“I know, and I do. Okay I'm a little nervous too but we're like a half hour away from everyone who knows us. It's very unlikely that if anyone even wandered over here that they would see us. I wanted to do this because I wanted us to have a _real_ date and I can't help but feel like it's a crappy date if the entire time you're walking ahead of me barely talking to me and not even holding my hand. Right now, you are not my teacher and I am not your student. We're two girls that wanted to go on a date with a change of scenery and-”

“I know,” Carmilla stopped walking and turned to her, “I'm sorry. I'm not, I'm not good at these things in the first place but this added pressure isn't making it easier _at all._ I'm sorry.”

Laura gave her a small smile, “It's okay,” She said, giving Carmilla a lingering kiss that she felt her nearly immediately relax into, “Let's find that ice cream place.”

“Okay.” Carmilla agreed with her own small smile, allowing Laura tostart leading her across a few restaurant parking lots to reach the ice cream place a few buildings down. Once they reached it Laura offered to go get them so Carmilla could “linger in the shadows”.

“Keep it,” Laura said, swatting Carmilla's hand with a couple of dollars in it away from her, “I'll be back.” She smiled and skipped over to the window. After a couple of minutes she skipped back over and handed Carmilla her hot fudge sundae.

“What'd you get?” Carmilla asked before she took her first bite.

“Chocolate chip cookie dough flurry.” Laura smiled.

“Why am I not surprised?” Carmilla laughed.

Laura just smiled, “There's a park down that way,” She said, pointing behind Carmilla, “Wanna go there?”

“As long as we'll make it in one piece.” Carmilla said, eyeing the area between there and where they were wearily.

“We'll be fine.” Laura reassured her.

“Coming from the girl who's afraid to park in the ally behind my building.” Carmilla said.

“Come on.” Laura sighed, pushing her to start walking.

After a few minutes of walking and eating Laura spoke up, “So, I'm expecting to hear back from colleges soon.”

“Yeah?”

Laura nodded, “I applied to quite a few around here but I'm really hoping for Buffalo State. I know it's not like the 'dream school' or whatever, everyone else wants to get into NYU or out of state but...I don't wanna leave my dad,” She shrugged, “I still can't believe you left here for...Ohio.”

Carmilla snorted, “I needed to get away.”

“But you came back.” Laura pointed out.

“ _Get_ away, not stay away,” Carmilla said, “And I could never leave Will behind forever. He's all I have- _had_ for a long time. And I'm not the best at making and keeping friends if you haven't noticed.”

“Gee I have no idea why.” Laura teased.

Carmilla nudged her with her elbow, “And I had to resort to dating a teenager so there's that too.”

“Hey.” Laura warned.

Carmilla tossed her trash away at the trash can in the park's entrance, “But continue with what you were saying.”

Laura shook her head, “They needed me to send in another recommendation for some reason. That's why I asked you. I can't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing.”

“I think it would be incredibly stupid of them to not want an amazing student like you.” Carmilla said.

“Thanks.” Laura smiled bashfully.

“I'd say it's a good thing.” Carmilla shrugged.

“I hope so,” Laura said, “You know my dad thinks I should be a sports journalist. On the off chance that I'd be able to get him into games and such.” She chuckled.

“He is aware that you barely know a baseball from a basketball right?” Carmilla laughed.

“He thinks I'm pretty enough for them to make an exception for me.” Laura explained.

“I see,” Carmilla hummed, “Can't say I disagree with him. However I hope you're considering something you're actually interested in.”

“I am,” Laura said, “I'm really interested in investigative journalism. Getting the real dirt on all the juicy gossip going on behind the scenes you know? Particularly within the law.”

“You're certainly nosy and stubborn enough.” Carmilla smiled.

“Thanks...I guess.” Laura chuckled.

“It's good that you know what you wanna do though.” Carmilla added.

“I always have...it's what my mom did, she got me into it.” Laura said.

“Really?”

Laura nodded as she picked around at the rest of her ice cream, “She had a job at the local newspaper,” She said and Carmilla nodded silently, “You don't need to be weird every time I bring her up.”

“I just- my mother was hardly a part of my life but I still can't imagine...being close to her and losing her like you did. So I don't really know how to go about these kinds of conversations.” Carmilla explained quietly.

Laura smiled softly, “So anyway, yeah...”

“How do you think your dad would feel if he knew you weren't 'going away' for school because of him?” Carmilla asked.

“I kinda think he knows...and he knows that if he said anything it wouldn't change anything,” Laura shrugged, “I don't think he minds. He worries about me too much to actually want me to go too far away anyway.” She chuckled.

“I kinda think you worry about him too.” Carmilla said.

Laura walked over and threw her trash in the trash can, walking back over and hooking her arm with Carmilla's, grabbing her hand too, “I do.”

“That's sweet.” Carmilla said and Laura just shrugged.

They walked silently a little further until they reached a tiny lake, “He's not the only reason anymore you know.” Laura finally broke the silence as she led Carmilla to the short little dock.

Carmilla just looked at her, “I don't wanna be far from you.” Laura added.

Carmilla shook her head, “What if you meet someone else.” She didn't really ask.

Laura sighed and sat down at the end of the dock, her legs hanging over the edge. Carmilla did the same, “I'm sure I'm going to meet a lot of people,” Laura said, “But I don't wanna be with anyone but you so...It doesn't matter.”

“You're ridiculous.” Carmilla said.

“There are worse things to be, remember?” Laura responded.

“I can't tell if you feel like that because you're young and naive and blindly believe that we're always going to be together or if you're genuinely capable of seeing a future for us,” Carmilla said. Laura turned to her and just gave her a both confused and offended look, “I mean...Like earlier when you were singing with Kirsch or some things you say or the way you act sometimes it just so painfully reminds me of how old you are and our age difference and...and I don't know. But then you're capable of making me feel better with just a few words and a kiss and carry intelligent somewhat adult conversations with me and know what you want to do with your life and have been capable of having a, generally speaking, healthy relationship with me and...it's times like that when it's just us, I feel like it's not so ridiculous to be with you despite all the reasons I shouldn't be.”

Laura was watching Carmilla but she was looking out towards the lake, “I am aware of the issues our age difference causes,” She finally said, “I always worry about if I sound or act too immature for you, if I'm smart enough to date someone as educated as you are or like how you judge my taste in music or movies or TV and like so many more things but I lo- despite all of them...I still care about you and want to be with you. And you obviously do too. We're making it work despite how painfully _grown up_ you are compared to me...And I'm genuinely capable of seeing a future for us. It's not gonna be long before I do a lot of growing up being away from home. And I don't know the circumstances of the future or anything like that and maybe it won't be easy or perfect...I just know I see you in mine. I _want_ you in mine.”

Carmilla finally turned to look at her...for what seemed like a very long time. And Laura was starting to worry she caught that 'L' word she almost let slip out, “Me too.” She finally said quietly.

“Yeah?” Laura smiled, relieved. Carmilla nodded with her own small smile. Laura leaned over, cupping her face with her hand, bringing her in for a sweet kiss. She wanted to say it. So badly. Last time she was...in love with someone...it didn't go over well. However that wasn't what was stopping her.

They've been dating for, roughly, two months. The thing is...they spent a lot of time getting to know each other in the months prior to that and Laura has been into her since the moment she first saw her on the first day of school. Initially it was lust but the more she talked to her the more it turned into being genuinely attracted to her like, all the way around. Physically, mentally, etc. Laura doesn't know exactly how Carmilla felt that entire time.

She allowed her behavior but on the same hand pushed her away. And when they 'made up' they actually got to know each other much better which is when Laura _really_ fell for her. She would assume Carmilla had feelings for her to some degree considering she didn't let Laura walk out the door that day. She just wasn't aware to what degree.

And she assumes now that they've actually been together, her feelings have increased. But again, she doesn't know how much. Carmilla is older and has more experience with these things and she's not exactly sure how she would react to being told that after officially being together for just over two months. Especially considering the her not being good with feelings thing. But you know what they say about assuming things.

She's happy with the message their conversation delivered though.

“Have any more plans for the evening?” Carmilla asked when she pulled back. Laura shook her head and leaned into her side, resting her head on her shoulder.

“Let's just sit here for awhile.” She said.

“Okay.” Carmilla said, wrapping her arm around her and leaning her head against the top of Laura's.

* * *

 

“You two are so gross.” Kirsch said when Laura hopped back into the passenger seat after walking Carmilla to her door.

“What why?” Laura asked.

“Do you not see how different she acts around you compared to what she lets everyone else see?” Kirsch laughed, “And you can't keep your hands off each other and say gross things. You're so in love its...just gross.”

“Really?” Laura asked.

Kirsch glanced over at her, “Really what?”

“I um, we haven't said that yet so...” Laura started, “You think she does?”

“ _Really?”_ Kirsch asked, mocking her, “Dude, if she didn't she wouldn't even be with you let alone chance going out on a public date with you. Or if she doesn't yet then she knows she could.”

Laura looked at him for a moment, “I suppose that's a valid point.”

Kirsch snorted, “If you're not ready to say it then don't but...I'm just saying.”

“I am though,” Laura said, “I mean I'm not...ready to tell her but...”

“Who knows, maybe she'll say it first.” Kirsch said.

Laura chuckled, “I kinda doubt that.”

“Why?”

Laura shrugged, “She's...she's not afraid to show and tell me that she cares about me but like actually discussing it she just...she's not good with that stuff so.”

“Never know.” Kirsch said again.

“Thanks so much again for doing this tonight. And this whole thing in general.” Laura said when they pulled into her driveway.

“It's cool I had a good time.” Kirsch said, turning the car off and handing her the keys.

They got out of the car and met each other at the front of it and she hugged him, “Love you.” She mumbled into his chest.

“Love you too, lil nerd.” He replied, giving her a squeeze.

“I'll see you later.” She said as she pulled away from him and gave him a smile that he returned.

“'Night.” He said as they moved around each other.

“Have a good night?” Her dad asked when she finally walked through the door.

She sighed and smiled, “It was amazing.”

“That's good,” He eyed her kind of cautiously, “Going to bed?” He asked.

“Um, I'll watch some TV with you if you promise not to ask me a million questions about tonight or him in general.” She smiled.

He sighed, “Deal. As long as you get us some snacks and drinks.”

“Fine.” She said and wandered into the kitchen still smiling.

* * *

 

“Laura, I am not playing Mario Kart with you.” Carmilla said _again._

“Come on, Carm!” Laura begged, “You have a Wii U for a reason.”

“Yeah, for Netflix.” Carmilla said.

“You paid three hundred dollars just to watch Netflix.” Laura said flatly.

“Yep.”

“You're telling me you have no video games.”

“Nope.”

“Okay we've been dating for like two months and I will say I haven't seen any but I don't believe you.” Laura said.

“Two and a half.” Carmilla corrected her.

Laura rolled her eyes, “We are playing this.” She said, getting up and walking over to the TV and placing the disc in the Wii.

She walked back over and handed Carmilla the regular controller and she took the Wii U pad.

Carmilla sighed, “I don't even know how to play.”

“That's why you play...to learn,” Laura rolled her eyes again, “It's easy. Hold it sideways and press two to go. Tilt it to turn. Use B to shoot things at people.”

“Shoot things at people?” Carmilla asked, her eyes trained on the TV watching Laura get through all the title screens and menu.

“Oh, got your attention now?” Laura laughed, “Yeah, you can throw shells and bananas and bombs and stuff at people. Sometimes you get mushrooms that help you go faster. And other things.”

“Hmm,” Carmilla hummed, “Now what's this?” She asked when the prompt to choose a character came up.

“Use the control pad thing to pick which character you wanna race as!” Laura exclaimed as she immediately chose Baby Daisy.

Carmilla made a face as her eyes scanned over the screen over and over, “This guy is cool I guess.”

“Bowser? Really?” Laura snorted, “You're so predictable.”

Carmilla scoffed, “Whatever.”

“Now you get to pick which kart you wanna drive!” Laura said. Picking the “Quacker”.

“Talk about predictable.” Carmilla mumbled, choosing a random one to move things along.

“Alright so we're racing online which means it's against real people so it's a little difficult,” Laura said, “Try not to break anything.”

“Why would I break anything?” Carmilla asked and Laura just gave her a sly grin.

About 10 minutes later she had already found out.

“All of these people are assholes,” She said as she got hit with _another_ red shell and had several people fly by her, “Are you fucking kidding me?” She yelled as she started to drive and got hit by someone flying by her as the bullet.

Laura was next to her biting her lip trying not to laugh _._

_A few minutes later._

“Why do these lackwits keep choosing to go to Rainbow Road?” She said as she fell off for the third time.

“Some people like it.” Laura said as she desperately tried not to fall off the curve that got her _every time._

“Oh my _god!”_ Carmilla yelled when someone with a star purposely ran into her, flipping her off the edge into oblivion again, “I am going to kill _all of you!”_

Laura snorted trying to stay concentrated. She was in third and the other two weren't far ahead of her, “Oh no,” Laura said as the warning of a red shell approaching her started, “No no nonononono, no! Damn it!” She sighed when it finally hit her after all the effort she made to avoid it.

“Asshole.” She grumbled when she finally started moving again, the finish line not far away now finishing 8th.

A moment later the race was over and Carmilla was last and hadn't even crossed the finish line, “Are you freakin- oh my god.”

_A few more minutes later._

Carmilla threw all 3 green shells at once at the player ahead of her. Every single one of them missed. And one bounced off the wall and came back to hit _her._

“Did you really just hit yourself with that green shell?” Laura laughed.

“At least I didn't blow myself up with a bomb a minute ago.” Carmilla said.

Laura just scoffed. She threw it ahead of her and it took for _ever_ to blow up. She tried to drive around it but...

“I hate this game. I'm never going to win. I haven't finished passed eighth place this whole time.” Carmilla sighed.

_Several minutes later._

“I swear to god if anyone hits me with anything...” Carmilla warned. She was actually in _1_ _st_ _place._ Laura was in last due to an unfortunate incident with a lightning strike. And banana. And red shell.

And Laura just got a blue shell from the block. She glanced over at Carmilla. And threw it. She snickered and a few seconds later the warning started on Carmilla's screen.

“What the-did you do that?” Carmilla exclaimed as she blew up, “I freakin saw it fly out of your hand you little asshole I can't believe you just blue shelled me!” She said, punching Laura's shoulder.

“Ow!” Laura laughed, “You take this way too seriously!”

“You've won like five times! Jerk,” Carmilla sighed, “The finish line was like ten seconds away.”

“I'm sorry.” Laura said, leaning over trying to kiss her cheek. Carmilla leaned away and pushed her away with her elbow as she tried to finish the race.

“No, get away from me.” Carmilla said as she crossed the finish line.

“Come on, let's take a break,” Laura said, “I'll make up for blue shelling you.” She said, kissing her neck.

“Get off.” Carmilla said, choosing the next course.

“I'm trying.” Laura said, resting her hand on her thigh, scooting closer.

“We'll take a break after I win.” Carmilla said, determined.

Laura sighed, “Whatever.”

A few minutes later Laura was in first with Carmilla hot on her tail. The finish line wasn't far away and she really wanted to take that “break”. Luckily there was a banana right in front of the finish line.

“Oh my gosh, I can't believe that just happened!” Laura said as she blatantly drove over it, spinning out, allowing Carmilla to pass her and finish first, “What terrible luck, who puts a banana there?”

“You did. During the last lap,” Carmilla said, not at all excited about winning, “You let me win!”

“I did not!” Laura said, sounding offended.

“Yes you did! There was a whole finish line untainted by bananas that you could've driven through.” Carmilla sighed.

“Well, you won, I think it's time for that break,” Laura smirked, “I'll make _that_ up to you too.”

Carmilla turned to her and grabbed her chin, “I appreciate you failing on purpose to make me feel better,” She said, giving her a kiss, “But not 'til I win for real.”

“Carm.” Laura groaned, putting her hand on her cheek to turn her face back to her, “Please.” She said, kissing her again as her phone rang. She groaned again, it was her dad.

Laura stood up and walked across the room, “Hello, dad.”

“Where are you?” He asked.

“Uh, I'm with Kirsch. Like I told you.” She said.

Carmilla sighed, the race had started but it's going to disconnect them since Laura wasn't doing anything. So she sat the controller on the table and made eye contact with her.

“Can I talk to him?” Her dad asked.

“What, why?” Laura asked, her eyes widening a little, “He's in the bathroom.”

“Really?” He asked.

“Yeah,” She said cautiously, “What's going on?”

“So he walked all the way across town to use the bathroom?”

Laura's brows furrowed and she turned away from Carmilla, “What are you talking about?”

“I saw him, Laura. Walking around town with a few of his buddies. You, nowhere in sight,” He explained, “Now where are you?”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “Daddy I-”

“Actually, you can tell me when you get home. Which better be ASAP, do you hear me?” He said sternly.

She sighed, “Yeah.”

“See you shortly.” He said and hung up.

She took another deep breath and turned back to Carmilla, “I gotta go, my dad wants me home.”

“Why is everything okay?” Carmilla asked, getting up and walking over to her, concern written all over her face.

“I um,” Laura started nervously. She was going to lie but..., “I don't know. He saw Kirsch which is obviously who I said I was with so...”

“Oh.” Carmilla said.

“Yeah,” Laura said, “I'll take care of it, okay? I'll talk to you later.” She gave her a small, reassuring smile before kissing her.

“Okay.” Carmilla said, following her to the door to give her another kiss.

Laura hesitated a moment before smiling again and walking out the door. She quickly made her way to her car and let out a shaky breath. She didn't like where this was going.

She tapped her hands against the steering wheel the whole time until a bang on her window startled her at a stop sign not far from her house. She looked over and saw Danny signaling for her to unlock the door. So she did.

“What are you doing?” Laura hissed when she climbed in, “You scared the crap out of me.”

“Sorry,” Danny said, “Kirsch called me...He said you had a problem.”

“I might.” Laura said, finally pulling forward.

“He told me about it. Well he didn't really have to he just said you needed my help so I kind of assumed what it was about.” She explained.

“You still knew?” Laura asked hesitantly.

Danny shrugged, “I didn't _know._ I don't know. She obviously makes you happy and I...I still think it's weird and maybe I was a little jealous you didn't like me like that anymore. I thought maybe you were telling me the truth but after Kirsch called me...”

“Wait since when does Kirsch call you? And since when do you do favors for him?” Laura interrupted her.

“Don't worry about it.” Danny said.

Laura gave her a look out of the corner of her eye as she pulled into her driveway.

She braced herself when she got out of her car and walked towards the porch, “Are you sure you wanna try this?”

“Yeah.” Danny nodded.

Laura nodded and took a deep breath as she opened the door, her dad sitting on the couch waiting for her. Looking a little surprised to see Danny with her.

“Hi.” She said nervously.

“Where have you been?” He asked.

“Um, I was with Danny,” Laura said, “That's why I brought her with me.”

“Why did you lie about hanging out with Danny?” He asked, looking confused.

Laura stepped further into the house, grabbing Danny's hand to pull her with her, “Because...” She said, looking down at their hands that were still together, “Because.” She said again, looking back up at him.

He glanced down at their hands, “Wait, are you two _together_?” He asked. Laura just nodded, “Why didn't you just tell me?”

“I don't know,” Laura sighed, fidgeting a little. She was finally coming out to her dad. It was in a lie...but it was still happening, “I guess I was just a little worried.”

“Worried about what?” He asked, “That I wouldn't approve or something?”

“Well yeah, I guess.” She said.

“Honey,” He stood up and walked over to them, “You know I love you no matter what, don't you?”

He put his hand on her shoulder and she looked down, “I know but...”

“Wait,” He said, “Why didn't you just tell me you were hanging out with her then? Why did you have to lie about dating Kirsch if you were just with her?”

“Uh,” Laura struggled to find an answer, “You assumed I was dating someone so I guess I panicked when you asked me about it before, I don't know.”

A look she couldn't read flashed across his face, “I still don't believe you.”

“Dad I-”

“Who's Carm?” He interrupted her.

“I-” Her stomach dropped as she dropped Danny's hand, “What?”

“Who. Is. Carm?” He repeated.

“I don't-”

“Don't lie to me again, Laura. Is she your actual girlfriend?” He asked.

She sighed and nodded, “But how do you-”

“Know?” He finished, “I've seen your phone on the coffee table when it rings and Carm with a little heart next to it flashes on the screen. I know you have a heart next to Kirsch's name too, the little blue one so I didn't really think much of it before you told me you were dating him. But now thinking about it...it all kind of adds up now. Why don't I know who she is?”

“I told you I wasn't ready to come out and...” Laura said, trailing off.

“Laura.” He warned again.

Laura shrugged, she reallyyy did not like where this was going, “I don't know, dad. But now you know the truth. Are we done?”

“Yeah, I know the truth now...so why are you still acting like that?” He asked her.

“Like what?” She asked.

“Defensive? Why don't you want me to know who she is?” He asked.

Danny awkwardly shuffled by them to sit on the couch.

“I wanna meet her,” He spoke again, “If someone is dating my little girl I want to know who they are.”

“I'm not a little girl, daddy,” Laura sighed, “Look, this isn't necessary okay, when I'm ready for her to meet you, you will okay?”

“You're still hiding something from me.” He said.

“Dad.”

“Laura,” He mocked her, “Why don't you want me to meet her? Is she a troublemaker?”

Laura shook her head.

“Older?”

She hesitated, “You could say that.”

“How much older?”

“A few years...” She said quietly.

He laughed humorlessly, “You do realize that's borderline illegal right?”

“Dad I-”

“So if you still expect me to not want to meet her after finding _this_ out...”

She sighed. There was no way out of this. And Danny was not helping. At all.

“What is Carm even short for?” He asked, “Carmen?”

“Carmilla.” She immediately corrected him and her eyes widened. Shit. She's never even heard the name Carmilla before she met her, there's no way he has either.

“Karnstein?” He gaped at her. Well..., “Your history teacher?”

Laura scoffed and shook her head, “Why would I be dating my teacher that's-”

“Stupid?” He interrupted her, “Ridiculous? _Actually illegal?_ Laura what the hell are you thinking?” He blew up.

“Dad-”

“What did she do to you? Is she forcing you to do this? Did she-”

“Dad will you let me speak!?” She interrupted him, “ _She_ did not do anything okay it was all me.”

“ _What?”_

“I really liked her okay, she's not that much older than me.” Laura said.

“Oh my god,” He turned away from her and ran his hand through his hair, “You're kidding.”

“No.” Laura said quietly since he couldn't see her shake her head.

“Lots of kids have crushes on their teachers, Laura, that doesn't mean you can _date them._ You do realize how much trouble she's going to get in don't you?” He asked.

“She doesn't have to get in trouble, daddy!” Laura sighed, “I told you, this is on me not her!”

He sighed and rolled his eyes, “I don't care what it is, do something so I can talk to her or so help me I will show up at school and _everyone_ will know what's going on and she'll get what's coming to her.” He threatened.

“Dad!”

“Laura, I am not playing around. Right now.” He said.

“There is nothing wrong with this, dad! She cares about me, she didn't even want to do this but I convinced her to because I just...” She struggled to find her words as her voice grew shakier, “I love her.” She said quietly with a small shrug.

“You love her.” He scoffed.

“Don't say that like that.” She said.

“What?” He asked, “Disgusted? Because I am.”

“Daddy.” Laura sighed, tears now falling from her eyes.

“I'm not arguing about this anymore.” He said.

He turned to walk over to his chair and she mouthed 'watch him' to Danny, holding up her hand mocking a phone, to make sure he doesn't call anyone while she steps outside. She nodded.

When she closed the door behind her she took a deep breath and dialed Carmilla's number, “Are you okay?” She answered.

“Not exactly,” Laura mustered, “He um, yeah...He knows.”

“What?” Carmilla asked.

“I don't, he just...he pieced things together and things just...he wants to talk to you.”

“No.” Carmilla said.

“What?”

“I said no, Laura,” Carmilla sighed, “I-”

“He just wants to talk, Carm, please.”

“You're crying, Laura, you were crying when you called me which means you were crying before you called me. He doesn't want to just talk, he's mad, or you wouldn't be crying,” Carmilla said, “I can't do this. We agreed if anything like this happened then we'd break things off and that's exactly what needs to happen.”

“Carm, please. He said if he doesn't get to talk to you he's gonna do it at school.” Laura begged with a small sob.

“Laura, I'm sorry,” Carmilla said quietly, “Tell him he doesn't have anything to worry about anymore. If I don't say anything there's nothing he can do.”

“This isn't fair.” Laura said.

“I know, sweetheart,” Carmilla said. Laura could've sworn she heard her voice cracking as well, “I'm sorry it had to be like this.”

Laura let out another choked sob, “Me too.”

“Goodbye, Laura.”

“Bye.” Laura said, sitting down on the porch as she hung up the phone and slammed it on the cement next to her before burying her face in her hands. There was no use in arguing with her. They did agree to this. As much as it sucked, this is what they agreed to do if anyone threatening found out about them. It was for the best.

And now, Laura never got to tell her what she told her dad just a few minutes ago. She would probably never see or talk to her outside of class anymore. Even if they do talk, it'll just be about school. Having to pretend she's not in love with her. Having to pretend she didn't used to spend all the time she possibly could with her. Having to pretend she still didn't want to.

Having to pretend that _everything_ that happened never happened.

She let out a shaky sigh and ran her hands from her face through her hair as she hunched over her legs, resting her forehead on her knees.

“I'm guessing she didn't take the news well.” She heard Danny say when the door opened and closed behind her.

Laura just shook her head.

“Maybe it's for the best.” Danny said.

Laura laughed humorlessly and sat up to look at her with puffy eyes, “Right.”

“You don't...you didn't really think this would end in happily ever after did you?” She asked.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Laura asked, getting irritated, “This is not what I need to be hearing from you right now! Maybe it was stupid of me to think everything would be okay but I love her! Love is supposed to conquer all right? I know it's childish to think that but it was all I had to hold onto knowing that every single day that went by could've been the last day I spent with her because of some stupid little slip up like today. I know it was stupid, okay, I don't need to hear it from you. Especially right now.”

“I know, Laura, I'm sorry,” Danny said, “I just, I said it before, you deserve someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

Laura scoffed, “Oh, like you? Is that why you came here? So you could be here when you knew everything would inevitably fall apart and you could be here to pick up the pieces like my white knight or something?” Danny opened her mouth to respond but Laura cut her off, “I cannot believe you right now! You're supposed to be one of my best friends and help me get through all this stupid shit and the only thing you're trying to do _still_ is get me to be with you literally five minutes after I broke up with the woman I am _in love with.”_

“That's not why I came here!” Danny defended.

“I don't even fucking care because that's definitely not what what you just said sounded like,” Laura said, standing up, “Just go.”

“Laura-”

“Go, Danny!” She said, pointing down the sidewalk.

Danny stood up, “I'm sorry.”

“Yeah well that's what you should've said a few minutes ago before you opened your stupid mouth.” Laura said.

Laura flopped back down on the porch and burst into tears again as she walked away. First her girlfriend and now one of her best friends.

Maybe she'll give Danny a chance to say whatever she was going to say later. Right now, she just really doesn't want to hear anything else from anyone.

* * *

 

Laura was lying in bed, curled up under blankets still crying when she heard a knock at her window causing her to jump and sit up. She looked over and saw Kirsch giving her a small smile and wave. She shook her head and climbed out of bed to walk over and open it up so he could crawl in.

“How?” Was all she asked when he nearly fell to the floor.

“I spider monkeyed the right side of the porch, assuming your dad was in his chair which is facing the other side of the porch,” He smiled until he saw her wiping at her face, “I guess things didn't go well.”

She shook her head and walked back over to her bed, “Dad's uncanny ability to read me like a book and his ability to piece things together like he's on a damn crime show proved to outdo my poorly thrown together lies.”

“So I guess she didn't take that news well either.” He said.

Laura just shook her head.

“I'm sorry.” He said, sitting next to her.

She shrugged and looked down, “I don't know why I expected this to go better than it did.”

“Because you love her.” He said.

“That didn't help much did it?” She said, looking up at him again.

“If you're really meant to be together you'll be together. Maybe not now but...” Laura just looked at him, “What?”

“I don't know if that makes me feel any better,” He gave her a confused look, “What if we don't and I've been wrong this whole time?”

“Then you'll be with someone who makes you feel even better than she did.” He said.

“I don't think that's possible,” Laura sighed, “And I'm not sure I want it to be.”

Kirsch just gave her a small smile.

“I think Danny and I are officially done as well.” She said again as she scooted to the middle of the bed to lay down.

“Why?” He asked.

Laura chuckled, “She just really needs to work on how she tries to pick up girls.”

“Oh,” He said, “That's...not cool.” He said, scooting next to her.

She cuddled up against him, “Do you mind if I cry myself to sleep on you?”

“You know I hate seeing you cry, lil nerd.” He said, wrapping his arms around her.

“Please take that up with my dad, Danny and Carm then.” She mumbled.

“Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut off?” Kirsch asked.

“What!?” Laura lifted her head to look at him with concern.

“Don't worry, he's all right now.” He said trying not to smile.

She just looked at him, “You are so...oh my god,” She rolled her eyes with a small laugh, “Go to sleep.”

“I can do that. In fact, I'm so good at it I could do it with my eyes closed.” He said, closing his eyes.

“I hate you.” She said, resting her head back against his chest.

“Love you too, nerd.” He chuckled.

They laid silently for a few minutes. She tried listening to the beat of his heart to relax a little bit. But she can't help feeling like she ruined the relationship she has with her dad and completely lost her girlfriend and one of her best friends just in the matter of a few minutes. And it was killing her.

“Kirsch,” She whispered, trying not to let the tears slip out of her eyes again. He hummed his acknowledgment, “Please don't leave me.” She couldn't lose anyone else.

He was silent for a moment, wrapping his arms tighter around her, “I'm not going anywhere, Laura.” He finally said quietly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont hate me ily alll


	8. Moonlight Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one in which carm and laura have to spend a terrible two months apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first parts are in laura's pov and the rest is in carm's, it's pretty clear when it changes but just fyi :)

_C: I've been thinking and I'm afraid if I don't say anything to your dad he'll end up showing up at school anyway...  
C: I should figure out how to take care of this myself instead of texting you because I'm sure you're not very happy with me at the moment_

Laura woke up to the sound of her phone going off next to her. She pulled herself away from Kirsch who was still laying with her.

_L: I am too...don't worry about it. We made the decision together weeks ago. You can text me what you wanna tell him and I'll show him?_

_C: I feel like I should actually speak with him...but if that'll suffice_

_L: It's something  
L: I won't read it if you don't want me to_

_C: I'll send it in a few minutes. You can read it but, let him read it first please?_

_L: Whatever you want, Carm_

She sighed and rubbed at her eyes. She felt exhausted despite sleeping for...two hours now.

_C:Also please delete our prior conversations in case he decides to get nosy_

Laura snorted. So she did.

“What time is it?” Kirsch mumbled as he woke up.

“Like eight thirty.” She said.

“Oh.” He rubbed at his eyes.

“Did you walk? You should get going before it gets completely dark.” She suggested.

“You don't want me to stay?” He asked.

She shrugged, “I do...but if for some reason my dad came up here and saw that you snuck in I'm sure he'd hate me even more.”

He nodded and stood up, “Call me if you need anything. Comfort, food...comfort food. I'll even spend the entire day with you tomorrow if you let me watch baseball.”

She snorted and followed him to the window, “I'll keep you posted.” She said, giving him a hug.

“You can even call me if you just wanna talk more...or anything. I don't care, Laura.” He said.

“Thank you.” She smiled against his chest and he kissed the top of her head.

“I'll let you know when I get home.” He said and pulled away to open the window.

“Okay, be careful.” She said.

He gave her another small smile and climbed out the window and tip toed across the porch, giving her a small wave before he climbed down.

She heard her phone again, a text prefacing “here it is” so she grabbed her phone and made her way downstairs.

“Daddy?” She asked, he was sitting in his chair watching some car show, “I know Carm said to tell you there wasn't anything to worry about anymore and that she didn't feel the need to talk to you but she's kind of afraid you'd show up at school anyway...so um, she sent this text for you. I haven't read it.” She said, opening the text and handing him her phone.

He looked at her briefly before taking the phone from her and looking at it, “If the screen dims just poke it so it doesn't turn off.” She said, sitting on the couch nervously. She didn't look at him the whole time.

“Here.” He said after a minute, handing her the phone back.

“...So?” She asked nervously.

“As long as you don't see her anymore I'm not going to say anything.” Was all he said.

“Really?” She asked.

“I don't think I would anyway,” He admitted, “I couldn't do that to you. I'm sure you'd hate me and I don't think I could live with myself just to...I don't think she was in the wrong okay? That's all I'm going to say.”

Laura just looked at him, “If...if that's the case then why-”

“Don't go there, Laura, you should never have been with her in the first place. If you really cared about her at all you would've respected that. It's illegal and she could go to jail if anyone else finds out that it happened. It's for the best. For both of you.”

She sighed but he was right, “Thanks.” She said. He just nodded.

She hesitated a moment before getting up and walking into the kitchen, grabbing a snack and sitting down at the table to read it:

_Mr. Hollis, I know you're probably not my biggest fan right now but I need to clarify a few things about my relationship with your daughter. You're probably thinking that I threatened to fail her or that I offered her extra credit or anything else like those assholes you see on the news being involved with their students do so that she would be with me but that is NOT what happened. I also want to clarify that I am NOT blaming Laura for what happened before I say this. She came on to me from the very start of the school year. After I realized that's what she was actually doing I tried to push her away, I told her several times that we couldn't be together. After a bit, she got a little upset and stopped communicating with me. Then a few weeks later she decided that's not how she wanted things to be so she wanted to be “friends” and against my better judgment, I agreed. And after getting to know her better I started falling for her and I knew I should've cut off the personal side of our relationship and kept it strictly “professional”. Then she confronted me about everything and I couldn't let her go. I can't explain it, my brain was screaming to let her go. I KNEW that it was a bad idea and I never should have agreed to starting an actual relationship with her but...you know Laura, you know how special she is. She has that ridiculous smile and she's so stubborn and driven and just everything about her draws you in. But anyway here we are now, I apologize profusely for encouraging her lies. I'm sorry if you can't trust her, I'm sorry if this negatively effects your relationship in the long run but I can't apologize for choosing to make this mistake with her. To the point where I can't really even consider referring to it as a mistake. When I met her I never expected this to happen. I never expected to fall in love with her. But it did and I have and the last few months have been some of the best of my life and I'm thankful to have had the chance to know and love her. But I understand why you're angry and I respect the fact that you don't want me to see her anymore so I promise you I'll keep the rest of our time in class together strictly between a teacher and her student. You have an amazing daughter, Mr. Hollis, please don't let this make you second guess that. Its just as much my fault as it is hers. Have a good night._

“Oh my god.” Laura whispered as she sat her phone down and covered her face with her hands, tears flowing again. As if on cue, her phone started ringing, it was Kirsch.

“I'm home.” He said when she answered.

“She loves me.” Laura said quietly.

“What?” He asked.

“She sent this like year long text to show my dad because she was afraid he'd end up going to the school like he said he would and she said that she fell in love with me.” She said, trying not to sound like she was about to start sobbing again.

“I don't know if that's supposed to be good or bad.” He admitted.

She just sighed, “Do I text her and tell her I love her too or no?” She asked frantically.

“I don't...you wanted to know if she loved you right? Maybe she wants to know too.” Kirsch said.

“That...doesn't help.” Laura rubbed at her eyes.

“Whatever you want to do, Laura.” Kirsch said.

“Okay...” Laura sighed, “Um, I'm gonna get off here and make actual food. This snack did nothing for me and I'll think about it.”

“Alright, I'll talk to you later then.” Kirsch said.

“Bye.” Laura said and they hung up.

She opened the message again and stared at it. Actually her appetite was rapidly decreasing. No matter what she does or how Carmilla reacts...if she even does, it's not going to change anything. And she hates that. She typed it out. “I love you too.” And stared at it for an even longer amount of time, her thumb hovering over _send._

She finally just took a deep breath and sent it, dropping her phone on the table, letting out the breath she sucked in. She didn't know whether or not she should expect a response. How would she even respond in this situation? She didn't know. So she wasn't really expecting anything. She did kind of feel better knowing that she got to tell her though. And knowing she felt the same.

* * *

 

Laura reluctantly walked into the classroom Monday morning and walked right by Danny and over to Perry, “Hey, Perr, do you mind maybe switching me seats?”

“Oh, not at all!” Perry said, already gathering her things, “Do you mind telling me why though?”

Laura shrugged, “Danny and I just...had a small falling out,” Perry just nodded and made her way over to LaF's other side, “Thanks.” Laura smiled and sat down.

She opened her book to finish her homework, trying to do everything she can to not look up at Carmilla sitting at her desk. Which was a little harder now that she was more directly in front of her.

“Alright, guys,” Carmilla sighed after the bell rang, “I wrote the assignment on the board, you can work with partners or groups or by yourself I don't care. It's more like a project so you'll have until next Monday to turn it in, probably all day in class to work on it this week.” She explained, Laura reluctantly looked up when she started talking.

She looked beautiful. As always. And she glanced over at Laura before she returned to her seat and turned to her computer.

“You wanna work with me and Perry?” LaF asked her.

“Um, no thanks, I think I'll just do this one on my own.” She offered them a thankful smile as everyone around her was scooting their desks together, their voices beginning to fill the room.

Also getting very distracting. Her thoughts were distracting enough. She looked up at Carmilla again, clicking around on the computer. She tapped her pencil against her book nervously before finally standing up and walking over to her, “Miss Karnstein?” She said quietly.

Carmilla took in a noticeably deeper breath before turning to her, “Yeah?”

“Um, I decided to work by myself and they're all a little distracting,” Laura said, gesturing back to the class, “I was wondering if it would be okay for me to listen to some music on my phone?”

“Of course.” Carmilla said.

“Thanks.” Laura offered her a small smile that she returned. She turned around and walked back to her desk before she reached across hers to grab her face and kiss her and tell her she loves her a million times to forget all of this even happened and go back to the way things were before.

She let out a shaky breath and pulled her phone and headphones out of her bag, plugging them in and hitting shuffle on her music.

_They Don't Know About Us_ by 1D started playing. She rolled her eyes, of course one of the songs that always made her think about her and Carmilla. She scrolled through her playlist trying to find another song to listen to. She gave up and went to Spotify to listen to the Top 50 Chart. Try not to ruin more songs for her to listen to along the way.

She got lost in the music and her thoughts and her work and was only torn out of them when LaF tapped on her desk. She pulled out her headphones, “What?”

“The bell rang.” LaF chuckled a little.

“Oh,” Laura said, seeing everyone begin to shuffle out of the room, “Thanks.”

“No problem.” LaF said.

Laura sighed and gathered her things quietly, of course being the last one left in the room.

She glanced over at Carmilla before she walked to the door. She was scribbling something on a piece of paper, possibly doodling something if the look of concentration on her face was any indication. Laura smiled a little.

_I Love You._

* * *

 

Carmilla was literally doing anything she could to get Laura off her mind, especially during class. Playing stupid games on the computer, doodling...failing at it. When the bell rang she was working on drawing _another_ stupid panther. She noticed Laura being the last to leave and she noticed her looking at her before she left the room. But she didn't look at her.

She can't look at her.

Well she _can_ but it makes her feel sick. She loves her and Laura loves her too and their relationship was going so well but they can't be together. For now. She thinks. After she graduates she's going to college and she's going to find someone else there. She just needs to accept that. Maybe if they didn't have to break up that's not how things would go. But she didn't even know how things were going to end up between now and graduation.

Later that day when she had Kirsch in class, he came up to her desk, “I'm really sorry about what happened,” He said. She tried to wave him off, “No listen, I should've been more careful. I should've just stayed home or something. I fucked up your relationship and I feel like crap about it. Laura has been crying like all the time and I don't know what to do.”

Carmilla sighed and looked down at her desk. She doesn't need to think about Laura crying right now. Especially because of her, “It's not your fault, beefcake,” She finally said, “Just, be a good friend okay? That's all you can do.”

“I'm not sure I'm being a good enough friend,” He admitted, “Like, I'm good with the bro stuff and comforting her with other things but...this is way different and I feel useless just sitting there trying to comfort her about something that was my fault.”

“I literally just told you it wasn't your fault.” She said.

“You're just trying to make me feel better.” He said.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “You're her best friend. She loves you, you being there for her is more than enough I'm sure. She knows you're trying. Now can we not talk about this anymore because I really don't want to think about this right now. Or ever.”

“Right. Sorry,” He smiled nervously, “Um, thanks...And I'm sorry again.”

“Okay.” She finally gave in and he smiled again before going to his seat.

She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, resting her head in them for a moment waiting for the bell to ring. She really just wanted to go home.

* * *

 

By the time the next week rolled around, Carmilla noticed Laura was still purposely not sitting next to the giant ginger. She's starting to wonder what's going on there. It had to have happened over _that_ weekend as well and whatever it was kinda makes her want to punch Danny for making her mad over the same weekend that she reluctantly broke her heart.

But she figures that's none of her business anymore.

She notices Laura barely speaking in class anymore. At all. Not even when everyone else is talking. Not even when LaF and Perry are trying to pull her into a conversation. She'll listen, but she doesn't really participate. She just looks sad. And tired.

It breaks her heart every day that she sees her knowing that she's part of why she's like this.

Her own personal feelings aren't going much better. She kind of has that feeling that you feel when you're about ready to cry, when your throat feels kind of tight and your eyes are burning a little but you never actually start crying, all the time. She can't stop thinking about her, even at home.

The kitchen/dining room reminds her of all the dinners they had together.

The couch reminds her of watching Laura's stupid shows, watching new episodes of their favorite shows, making out, their last date with Mario Kart (that she still has and doesn't really know what to do with), cuddling...a lot of stuff happened there.

Her art area reminds her of their first date and few dates after that.

Her bed...well.

The piano reminds her of the times Laura asked her to play songs for her. And the times she tried to teach her to play but she couldn't ever do anything but Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

And she still has the flower painting Laura painted on their first date hanging up by the door.

She decided to go to Will's this weekend in hopes of distracting herself a little bit.

She barely made it through the week when she got there.

“You look like shit.” He said when he opened the door.

“Wow, thanks.” She rolled her eyes and pushed by him through the door.

“Is it because of that girl?” He asked.

She nodded, “And she's not just a 'that girl'.” She clarified.

“My bad,” He said, “You wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head, “I came here to stop thinking about it.”

“Alright, what do you wanna do?” He asked.

She sighed, “You mind if I just sleep for a little bit right now?”

“Nah, make yourself at home,” He said, gesturing towards the hallway to the bedrooms, “You wanna order in and just chill later?”

“That's fine.” She nodded.

“The usual?” He asked and she just smiled and nodded. He gave her a thumbs up and flopped down on the couch. She took that as her cue to make her way to the guest room.

She threw her bag and purse on the floor next to the bed that she fell face first onto. She reached down and grabbed a bottle of Aleve out of her purse, popping them in her mouth to try to help the stupid headache she's had for the past week go away. She adjusted herself better on the bed and closed her eyes, thinking about eating takeout and probably watching some shitty horror movie with Will later just like they did when they were kids.

She woke up much later than she expected to. She wandered out into the living room after she left the bathroom and saw Will on his laptop.

“Watching porn?” She asked, coming up behind him.

“ _No,”_ He scoffed, “Just writing.”

“Writing porn then?”

“Get outta here.” He scoffed and tried to reach back and push her away.

She just chuckled, “Did you get the food yet?”

“Yeah like an hour ago, sleepyhead,” He said, “Yours is on the counter.”

She went into the kitchen to get it and a drink and came back in to sit next to him on the couch, “What are you writing?”

He shrugged, “I'm...I don't actually know yet. These are just ideas.”

Carmilla looked over at his screen, “Bad ones,” She said and he rolled his eyes, “No for real, these have been done a million times. Try something different. Write one where the girl's life doesn't change because of some mysterious boy she meets. Write one where she falls for his hot sister or something. Or changes because she kills him.”

“You saw that on tumblr.” He chuckled.

“Tumblr is ridiculous I clearly made that up myself.” She said.

“Yeah okay,” He said, “That's not really my genre though.”

“And what is?” She scoffed, “Romance? Comedy? Will, please, change it up a little.”

“Whatever.” He said.

“Anything good on?” She asked, stealing the remote and flipping through the channels.

“Probably not,” He said, “So, I was thinking we could go out tomorrow night. You know they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

“That's not gonna happen.” She rolled her eyes.

“Why not?” He asked.

“First of all I don't get under people,” She said and he rolled his eyes, “Second of all, Laura isn't someone I can just _get over._ Especially by sleeping with some sleazy girl in a bar or club.”

“Who said she has to be sleazy?”

“God, shut up. I'll go with you but I'm not hooking up with anyone.”

“ _Fine.”_ He sighed.

“Now can we find some stupid movie to watch or something?” She asked.

He closed his laptop and took the remote from her, “I already got one picked out!” He exclaimed and went to it. He pressed play and she leaned further back into the couch, still eating her food. She hoped this would be a good weekend.

* * *

 

Monday in school she was still feeling the effects of Saturday night. She got absolutely _wasted_ and she's pretty sure she threw up everything she's eaten all year that night on into Sunday morning. She also thinks she may have thrown up on some girl trying to hook up with her. But she can't remember. She does know for a fact that she won't be going back to that place anytime soon.

She's also pretty sure she's going to kill Will if he mentions how “hilarious” the entire thing was one more time. He, unfortunately, remembers every detail.

Meanwhile her head was still pounding and she had barely been able to eat since Sunday morning. She supposes that's what she gets for drinking so much after nearly a year of barely drinking at all.

She also unfortunately noticed Laura walking into the room talking to Danny again, therefore sitting next to her again. It was nice to see her kind of smiling again though. However, it was irritating to see what was causing it.

“Miss Karnstein?” She was interrupted from her thoughts by an unfamiliar voice. She turned to the door to see who was walking in and was greeted by a blonde girl who was definitely not one of her students. She kind of looked like the girl in that “scary” movie Laura made her watch about a girl in a psych ward. Amber...Heard?

“That would be me,” She said, pulling herself out of her thoughts, “And you are?”

The girl reached her and smiled, “I'm Ell,” She held out her hand for Carmilla to shake, “I've been hopping around from room to room as sort of a TA, studying all the different teaching methods and stuff. I um, I hope you don't mind if I come in during your first class every day? I'll help you with anything you want.”

“Um, yeah,” Carmilla said, a little confused. She didn't know anything about this, “I'm not feeling very well today though so I was just going to give them a little assignment to work on since it's a Monday class period.”

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that!” Ell said, giving her a sad look, “I'll come back tomorrow if you'd like.”

“You can stay,” Carmilla said, “We can talk about...you or whatever.”

Ell snorted, “Has anyone ever told you how charming you are?”

She automatically glanced over at Laura, “A few times actually.”

Ell laughed and pulled up a chair to Carmilla's desk, “So are you coming down with something or what?”

Carmilla snorted, “No, I um, drank a little too much Saturday.”

“Party girl?” Ell smiled.

“Not exactly,” Carmilla said, “That's the problem.”

“Getting over someone?” Ell asked.

Carmilla tilted her head a little, “Maybe.”

She gave her a sympathetic look, “Did it work?”

Carmilla laughed, “Not at all,” She admitted, “Enough about that, what's your major?”

“English!” Ell answered, “Exciting right?”

“You're talking to a history major.” Carmilla chuckled.

“Right,” She smiled, “So, do you have any specific method to teaching or...”

“Not really?” Carmilla said, “In my experience as a high school student I found that the more strict a teacher is, the less likely it is that they're going to have a class that's willing to behave and actually listen to and respect them. So I'm pretty lenient about things, I give them time to talk at the end of class if the lesson ends on time, they're allowed to work on homework together. I mean you know they're probably gonna copy off each other anyway right? Some days like today I just give them free time to work on a short assignment and then do whatever. Or I have the kind of respect from them where I can write what to do on the board and they'll read the assignment and work on the homework from it and I won't even have to do anything. But I always try to make sure I give a lesson with notes when we start a new chapter or a significant section within the chapter.”

“This is your first year teaching right?” She asked and Carmilla nodded, “And that's worked pretty good for you?”

“They're working aren't they?” Carmilla gestured to them.

Ell nodded, “That's cool. I know a lot of teachers who tell me their first year was a _nightmare.”_

“It was in the sense of getting in the habit of getting here so early and planning lessons and homework and quizzes and tests and then grading all of that at the end of the day but, my students haven't really given me many problems.” Carmilla said.

“I noticed with some of the older teachers that they're kinda strict like they have seating charts and stricter rules and the students are less willing to participate and are actually kind of rude to them. Especially if they get in trouble for talking during time to do homework and stuff. So I'm definitely going to try your 'method' or maybe lack thereof.” She teased.

“When do you graduate?” Carmilla asked.

“Next year, I'm a junior,” Ell said, “This semester I'm just kind of sitting in on some classes as the year closes out. Next semester I'll be participating a little more. Doing some lessons here and there and stuff. Maybe I'll be put back in here with you.” She smiled.

“Maybe.” Carmilla said.

So the girl wasn't as bad as Carmilla thought she would be. Maybe that's why she needs to stop judging books by their covers. Despite her blonde college girl appearance she was actually very intelligent and easy to talk to and not very annoying.

The only thing annoying her was seeing Laura with Danny every class period. It's only been a few weeks and she said she didn't like Danny like that anymore...There's no way they can actually be together right? She will admit it doesn't seem like Laura is really back to herself yet, especially when she laughs or smiles but...if she really did love her it's not like she'd be over her so fast right?

But thinking about that kills her.

She also knows she should probably just accept it just like everything else. Laura deserves to be happy. She deserves to be with someone capable of being in a relationship she deserves. Everything Carmilla couldn't do while being cooped up in her apartment all the damn time. Danny isn't a bad person, she was just looking out for Laura. In her own annoying way.

So if Danny happens to be the person that brings the happiness back into Laura's life then she's just going to have to get over it. No matter how much it hurts her.

But on the same hand, she doesn't know what to expect to happen. She loves her and wants to be with her and she doesn't know what to do.

Does she actually try to get over her?

Does she wait and see what happens a little bit down the road?

Is it ridiculous to be hung up on a teenager? No matter how much she loves her?

Especially when she has a very attractive girl only a couple of years younger than her flirting with her?

All the time.

She sees so many similarities between them though, it's a little off putting.

Her personality, her _shameless flirting,_ helping her grade homework, bringing her snacks, everything really. And the problem is because of that she can't stop comparing them. And the problem with that is; Laura will always win. Compare anything with Laura and Laura will always win.

She thinks maybe if they knew each other in a different situation then maybe something could happen.

She also thought that with Laura though. And here she is now. Trying to get over Laura.

“You okay, Miss K?” Kirsch asked when he handed in his assignment.

“Oh,” Carmilla said as she broke away from her thoughts, “Yeah, I'm fine.”

He looked at her for a second, “Okay...” He said and started to turn away.

“Wait,” She stopped him, “This is probably none of my business anymore but...I was wondering how she's doing.” She said quietly.

He gave her a sad smile, “A lot better. She's still, you know, upset obviously but...” He shrugged, “Yeah.”

She nodded, “She's not...”

“Seeing anyone?” Kirsch said like he was waiting for the question, “Nah.”

“Oh...”

“Why'd you say that like that?” He asked curiously.

“I just, she and Danny-”

Kirsch laughed, interrupting her, “She's not dating Danny.”

“You say that like it was ridiculous for me to think that.” She said.

“It kind of was,” He chuckled, “She's seeing someone else now.”

“Oh.” Carmilla said again.

“Laura thought she was trying to pick her up after you broke up with her but like...she's just really bad with words sometimes. She said something about maybe it being for the best I guess and Laura...you know Laura,” He laughed again, “She flipped out. Wouldn't let her explain or even finish what she was trying to say...But they're good now. She explained everything. We were trying to keep it a secret.”

Carmilla nodded slowly, “Wait 'we'? As in...?”

“Oh yeah.” Kirsch smiled.

“I thought Laura said you two hated each other.” Carmilla narrowed her eyes.

“'Hate' is a strong word you know?” He said, “Also it makes for an...interesting relationship.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Carmilla closed her eyes and sighed, “I didn't need to know that.”

“Right,” He said, “She's been wondering about you too, you know.”

“I'm fine.” Was all she said.

He nodded, “Alright well...we good now?”

She nodded, “Thanks.”

He smiled, “No problem.”

She sighed and sat back in her chair. She's relieved. As ridiculous as that is.

* * *

 

“Fancy meeting you here.” She heard Ell's voice approaching her as she graded some papers in a coffee shop.

“Hey.” She said, looking up at her.

“Mind if I join you?” She asked.

“Have a seat.” Carmilla said.

“You know I've been meaning to ask if you'd ever wanna do anything outside of school but...I can't ever bring myself to do it. So, I'm glad I just ran into you instead.” She smiled.

Carmilla just chuckled and shook her head, turning back to her papers.

“I mean, you're kind of intimidating,” Ell spoke again, “But also very intriguing so...”

“That's kinda what I'm going for.” Carmilla said.

Ell laughed, “It's working.”

Carmilla shook her head again and she let her finish grading in silence. Once she was done they started talking. And she shoved everything into her bag and they went for a little walk around the area with each other.

“I really like talking to you,” Ell said after a few moments of silence, “You're very wise for your age.” She smiled.

“I get that a lot.” Carmilla shrugged.

“No, I'm serious,” Ell said, “You really kinda have your shit together and I don't know a lot of people just out of college that are kind of already _there_ with their life you know? You're also smart and kinda funny and very snarky and I like that about you...I kinda just like _you_ actually.”

“Really.” She said and stopped walking to turn to her. This was driving her crazy. She has no idea what's going to happen in a few weeks after Laura graduates, she has no idea if getting back together would even be a good idea. She's pretty sure nothing could happen to her _then_ but...it would still be super frowned upon. And probably have people asking a lot of questions.

“Yeah,” Ell said sounding a little nervous, “You're also kinda hot in a broody, mysterious way that I'm like _way_ into so...there's that too.”

Carmilla chuckled, “I get that a lot too.”

Ell rolled her eyes, “You're also _very_ humble,” She said as she reached into her back pocket and pulled out her phone, looking at it and sighing, “My roommate needs me back for some reason, I'll um, see you later I guess?”

“Uh, yeah.” Carmilla said. She hesitated a moment, not missing the fact that Ell was making no move to start walking away and also not missing the way her eyes flickered down.

_Stop thinking about Laura, Carmilla. You can't be with her just get over it already._

She internally rolled her eyes at herself and stepped forward, pulling Ell in for a kiss. She was surprised but didn't hesitate to kiss her back. Carmilla shut her eyes tight in an attempt to shut Laura out of her thoughts.

But she just couldn't do it.

She pulled back and took a step back, keeping her eyes closed and her right hand still in the air, “I'm sorry,” She said, “I can't-I can't do this.” She said, finally opening her eyes.

“It's about your ex isn't it?” Ell asked.

Carmilla sighed, “I'm honestly trying so hard and that's why I did that because I thought-I mean...I do like you...I think but...I still love her.” She said, she had no idea why she was telling her this it was just kind of coming out of her mouth and she couldn't stop it, “It's been like a month.”

Ell gave her a small smile and stepped forward and grabbed her hand, “I know, that's why I wasn't trying to push you into doing anything which is why it surprised me that you did that,” She said, “Which is also why I'm gonna back off. You can't force yourself to get over someone. And you especially can't do it by forcing yourself into another relationship. I like you, Carmilla, I really do. And I'm flattered that you kinda feel the same but...I'm not her. I'm never going to be her. And I don't know what that means to you but I know that right now that's not what you want so...give yourself some time. Maybe you'll get over her sooner rather than later. Maybe she still feels the same and you'll end up working things out...You never know.”

Carmilla sighed and blinked back the tears, “Yeah, you never know.”

“I'll see you later,” Ell smiled again, “Let me know if you wanna talk about anything okay? I've gathered that's kinda not your thing but sometimes it helps.”

Carmilla just nodded and Ell gave her another sympathetic look before walking away.

Carmilla sighed again and leaned back against the building she was next to and closed her eyes.

_Fuckin' Laura._

* * *

 

So it's been a couple of weeks since...the kiss. Carmilla was thankful Ell didn't just _say_ she'd back down to make her feel better but actually _did._ She never mentioned it and she never acted like it changed anything between them. She didn't act like she _liked_ her and she didn't act like Carmilla ever admitted she might have kind of _liked_ her too.

It's also been approximately 48 days since she and Laura had broken up. Not that she had been keeping count or anything.

She likes to think she's accepted the way things are going to be. That doesn't change the fact that she still loves her and still maybe has a tiny bit of hope that things might change soon since it's the last day of school and she's graduating next Saturday. There's a bigger part of her knowing that maybe it's best things stay the way they are. For now. Maybe.

She's pretty sure if she was ever ready to actually try to move on, Ell would be more than willing to be the one she does it with. She also _knows_ Ell is more than willing to just be her friend, that she's not just hanging out her in the hopes that maybe Carmilla will change her mind soon. She knows this because she told her...and because she won't stop talking about this girl she met a few days after the kiss.

That was always fun to hear about.

Except she's been thinking about changing her mind.

“Ell is going to be handing back your final tests while I turn in all your final grades into the system,” Carmilla said, handing her the stack of papers, “Nobody failed so good job.” She smiled and turned to her computer and let them talk amongst themselves.

After about 15 minutes she finished and turned in her seat to see Ell reading some book and everyone else still talking.

“Guys,” She said as she stood up, “ _Kids.”_ She said louder, finally getting their attention.

She sighed, “I'm not trying to get sentimental here but, you guys were the very first class I've ever had. And I'll admit I was nervous as hell to come in here and do this but...you're all great students and I want to thank you all for not making things _too_ difficult for me. I'm probably not going to get a chance to talk to many, if any, of you after class today and I want all of you to know I wish you guys the best in whatever you're doing after graduation.”

“It's hard to be bad students when you have an awesome teacher.” LaF said with a smile.

She glanced over at them, seeing Laura in her peripheral looking down at her desk rubbing the eraser of her pencil across it, “Thanks,” She said, “So, you guys can continue talking now I suppose.”

“Thanks Miss Karnstein.” They said almost in unison back at her, making her smile as she sat back down.

“Your broody and somewhat off putting disposition didn't seem to effect them much in the long run.” Ell said quietly.

“Doesn't seem to effect anyone who willingly puts up with me.” Carmilla said, raising her eyebrow at her.

“True,” Ell smiled, “Are you helping with graduation at all?”

Carmilla shook her head, “Just gracing everyone with my presence.”

Ell snorted, “Are you allowed to bring anyone?”

“I think so yeah,” Carmilla said, “Why, do you wanna go?”

“I was hoping you'd ask!” Ell said and Carmilla rolled her eyes, “No for real, I know you're not like...besties with any of the other teachers or anything, I thought you might like some company.”

“I mean...I guess I don't care, if you wanna go with me I guess you can.” Carmilla shrugged.

“Still so charming.” Ell laughed.

Carmilla gave her a mocking grin.

Carmilla managed to make it through the next week until graduation without over thinking anything.

Mostly.

“You look hot.” Ell said when she hopped in the passenger seat of Carmilla's car.

“It's a dress.” Carmilla scoffed.

“A hot, black one.” Ell pointed out.

“Shut up.”

“Aren't you going to compliment me now?”

“I'm sorry, I wasn't aware this was a date?” Carmilla looked over at her.

“ _It's not,”_ Ell sighed, “I'm trying to break the ice, you're obviously being a little uptight today. If our conversation on the phone earlier was any indication.”

“That's just me being me.” Carmilla said.

“I don't believe you,” Ell said, “But I won't bother you about it anymore.”

They sat silently for a few moments, “But it wouldn't hurt you to repay-”

“Oh my god,” Carmilla interrupted her, “You look...great.”

“I can feel the sincerity.” Ell sighed.

They were silent again until Carmilla parked the car and walked into the school's gymnasium. It was supposed to be outside on the football field but a big storm was on the way.

“Wow, this place is huge,” Ell said, “I've never been in here before.”

The place was already filling up, she ran a little late trying to get ready, “Teachers are over here.” Carmilla said, putting her hand on her back to push her in the right direction, pulling her attention away from all the things hanging around them in the gym. Of course the teachers sat in the section that was right in front of where all the students walk off the stage once receiving their diploma.

“Are you sure you're okay?” Ell asked, “You're being very fidgety.”

“I'm fine.” Carmilla reassured her.

“Okay...” Ell sighed.

A few minutes later the students were piling into the gym in some ridiculous pattern. She spotted Laura almost immediately. A few minutes after they all got seated, the principal was at the podium speaking. He introduced some other guy from the school board to speak. Then introduced the students giving speeches. Boring speeches. The choir sang, the band played...it seemed like it took forever to get to the actual reason they were there.

The closer they got to the H's the more nervous she got. But she had no idea why. She's spoken to Laura maybe like 3 times in class since they broke up. There's nothing to even be anxious about. She's just walking on stage to get her diploma and going back to her seat.

But she's graduating.

_Laura Hollis._

Hearing her name snapped her out of her thoughts and she looked up to the stage and saw her bright, beaming smile as she walked across it and shook hands with the superintendent as he handed her the diploma. Once she received it she turned to the crowd and did her excited bouncy walk as she waved it in the air and smiled impossibly bigger.

She turned once she reached the other side of the stage and glanced down at the stairs as she walked down them. She looked up when she reached the bottom and immediately made eye contact with Carmilla. And smiled.

Carmilla couldn't help but smile back.

She was so proud of her. She graduated with honors despite her problems with her math class. And the issues in her class. The issues because of her. She overcame all of that and still kept her grades up.

Or maybe Carmilla was overestimating how upset Laura actually was the whole time.

She sat through the rest of the students and participated in the round of applause that was to be saved until after all the names were called. She looked down a the students and found where Laura was seated as they all stood up and threw their caps in the air. And she couldn't help but smile again.

The crowd started flooding out, eager parents and other family members excited to greet their new graduate. She stayed seated for a few minutes, waiting for the crowd to disperse a little to make their exit easier.

When they finally left they were stopped in the hall by the principal, “Miss Karnstein.” He greeted her.

“Hello.” She said, shaking his hand.

“So, your first year as a teacher is officially over,” He pointed out, “How do you think it went?”

“Um, great actually!” She admitted, “I can't say I really had many problems with anything.”

“Well, you certainly did great. A lot of students mentioned how great you were doing and all of your classes finished with a B average, which goes to show you must be an excellent teacher.” He said.

She smiled and shrugged, “I wouldn't say excellent.”

“Well, whatever you'd like to call it, keep it up. I hope next year is even better for you.” He said.

“Thank you.” She smiled and he nodded and walked away. She turned back to Ell who was smiling at her.

“Looks like you've officially gotten the blessing from the school!” She exclaimed.

“I guess so.” Carmilla smiled until someone came up behind her.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” The owner of the voice her hand on Carmilla's forearm, encouraging her to turn around.

“Give me a minute.” She said to Ell who nodded as she turned around.

“Hey.” Laura smiled.

“Uh, hey.” Carmilla said, shaking her hand off her arm.

Laura glanced down and clasped her hands together behind her back. She wasn't wearing her gown anymore but was in a cute white sundress, “I um, if I can find them I'm going around and talking to some of my favorite teachers. To thank them and say goodbye and stuff.” She shrugged.

“I'm still one of your favorites?” Carmilla asked.

Laura shrugged, “You'll always be my favorite,” She said quietly, looking down for a second, “Anyway, I wanted to thank you for being such an amazing teacher. I'm sure I didn't make things easy on you from the get go but...You didn't give up on me when I tried to transfer out of your class and you didn't give up on me over the last few weeks. And you never made things easy for me in class either and...Just, thank you. I hope your future classes realize how lucky they are to have you for a teacher.” She smiled.

Carmilla nodded, “I hope your teachers realize the same about you.”

“Oh! About that,” Laura said, “I got into Buffalo State! That's where I'm gonna be going!” She beamed.

“That's great, Laura,” Carmilla smiled, “I know how much you wanted to go there.”

Laura nodded, “I'm excited.”

“Carm, if you wanna leave before it starts raining too hard we should probably get going.” Ell leaned in and said to her.

Carmilla sighed, “I'll be there in a sec.”

“Oh, you-did you come with her?” Laura asked when she walked away.

Carmilla nodded, “Uh, yeah...I thought the company amongst all the other teachers who ignore my existence would be nice.”

Laura nodded, “Right. Well, I guess I'll let you get going then.”

Laura's tone immediately changed when she saw that she was with her. She wanted to tell her she wasn't _with_ her but...something else told her maybe it was for the best that she thought she was. Laura should take a chance to 'live her life' in college and not worry about her girlfriend back at home. If she decides she still wants to be with her after being there for a little bit then...maybe things can go back to the way they were.

So Carmilla just nodded as well, “Good luck and congratulations.”

Laura just nodded again and looked over to see if she could find her dad again, “Yeah, thanks. Bye, Miss Karnstein.” She said.

“Bye.” Carmilla said as Laura started to walk away. She sighed and walked to the door, her phone vibrated. It was Ell telling her she was already in the car because it started sprinkling so she made her way across the parking lot, trying to hold in the tears.

She saw the look on Laura's face and heard the tone in her voice change when she saw Ell. And she's apparently back to 'Miss Karnstein' in “private” moments.

She got in the car practically slamming the door behind her, “Haven't I told you I don't like being called 'Carm'?” She asked as she started the car.

“Oh, right,” Ell said, “Sorry, it kinda just happens sometimes. It's easier to get your attention with it than 'Carmilla' is. Sorry.” She said again.

“It's fine.” Carmilla said, turning around to check if it was safe to pull out.

“That was her wasn't it?” Ell asked after a moment.

Carmilla gave her a confused look, “What?”

“Your ex is Laura.” She clarified.

“Why would you think that?” Carmilla asked.

Ell shrugged, “Um, I kinda noticed her giving me these looks in class sometimes, especially when I'm talking to you. I didn't really think anything of it but I also noticed how you sometimes glance specifically at her when you're talking about something or when you're talking to the class,” She explained, “Also that would explain why you were so nervous today. She's also the only student you gave more than a second glance to today. I'm not judging you and I'm not gonna say anything but...”

Carmilla sighed and shrugged, “Fine, you got me.” She said, her voice not sounding as harsh as she meant it to be. She put the car back in park. It looked like it would be a few minutes anyway.

Ell gave her a sympathetic look, “That's why you couldn't get over her, you had to see her almost every day. You guys didn't _want_ to break up did you?”

Carmilla shook her head, “Her dad found out.”

“You're lucky he didn't say anything.” Ell said.

“Gee thanks,” Carmilla rolled her eyes, “I'm more than aware.”

“Do you think you'll get back together now that she's not your student anymore?” Ell asked.

Carmilla shrugged, “I think it's best she figures out what she really wants in college before we jump right back into things. If that's even what she would want at this point.”

“I think maybe she was trying to see what _you_ wanted.” Ell said.

“Maybe you're right,” Carmilla said, “But I don't wanna get back together with her just for her to go to college and find someone else she wants to be with that she can actually be with for more than a weekend at a time and have her break up with me again anyway.”

“Maybe that's not what she wants.”

“There are a lot of maybes here, Ell,” Carmilla sighed, “But we're just gonna have to wait and see what happens.” She finally got to back her car up to head out of the parking lot.

Ell nodded, “I get it,” She said, “But I think maybe it was just the right person at the wrong time.”

Carmilla nodded, “I guess we'll find out eventually...But what do I do until then?” It seemed ridiculous to sit by and wait for her when that might not even be what she herself is doing.

Ell shrugged, “Whatever you want I guess.”

Carmilla looked over at her for a moment, “What about _who_ ever?”

Ell gave her a somewhat confused look, “That works too.”

“I mean,” Carmilla quickly said, “I'm not jumping back into a relationship with her so she can have a chance to figure things out you know...so why should I sit and wait when I could do the same?”

“A few weeks ago you could barely kiss me because you're so sure of how you feel about her.” Ell pointed out.

Carmilla shrugged, “Things are different now.”

"How?" Ell asked.

"Because I know we're not getting back together...right now or like... _soon_ I guess...so." Carmilla tried to explain. She feels kind of crappy asking her to do this, whether she's willing to do it or not. She's not looking for a relationship she just...wants a distraction, "I just wanna make sure you know that...this isn't like-"

"Serious?" Ell finished for her, "I'm aware. Wait, to be clear I'm the 'whoever' right? Because I'm totally down if I am but like if I'm not then things are about to get kinda awkward.”

“I was...referring to you. But only if you want. I know you've been talking to-”

“Nothing is official.” She interrupted her.

Carmilla started to smirk, “You sound kind of eager.”

“I-” Ell scoffed, “Don't flatter yourself. I'm doing this for you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“ _Yes._ You're obviously having a difficult time getting over this girl and/or you're afraid she _will_ and it's obviously stressing you out so like...yeah.” She explained.

“So your place or mine?” Carmilla asked.

“Yours,” Ell said quickly, “I have a roommate remember?”

Carmilla nodded, “Alright,” She took in a slow breath, “I hope you're ready.”

Or more like, she better hope _she's_ ready.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> carm and ell 5ever <3
> 
> jk
> 
> also dont hate ell she's just a sweetie and carm is a babe u cant blame her


	9. Endless Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "long" awaited conclusion to the forbidden love story between an annoyingly persistent teenager and her super hot new history teacher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first i'd like to thank all of you who made it this far with me, hope i don't disappoint!! <3

Carmilla was flipping through the channels on her TV on a Saturday night, sighing because nothing was on. Like usual. Ell was visiting her family this weekend so that left Carmilla with pretty much no plans. She almost wishes her social life extended outside of her and Will. Because it's only been a few weeks since school ended and not having things to do to occupy her has been driving her a little crazy already.

It was nearing 1am so she figured she could probably just go to bed instead of staying up and suffering. Just as she turned the TV off, a loud, obnoxious knock broke through the silence. She jumped a little, wondering who the fuck was knocking on her door at one in the morning.

She quietly walked over to it to peek through the peep hole just as they knocked again, startling her again, “God dammit.” She hissed as she collected herself and looked through it. She didn't see anyone though. She narrowed her eyes is weary confusion just as another knock rang through the air.

“Carm!?” She recognized the voice immediately, “Are you home!?”

Carmilla took a deep breath, wondering what the hell she was doing here so late...or at all. She opened the door, “Oh hey!” Laura said, barely catching herself from falling over since she was leaning against the door.

“What are you doing here?” Carmilla asked.

“Nice to see you too.” Laura scoffed.

Carmilla looked at her for a moment and then it clicked, “Have you been drinking?” She asked.

“Maybe a little.” Laura giggled.

“How did you get here then?” Carmilla asked, trying not to panic.

“I walked! Like I would drive, silly.” Laura said.

“You walked? By yourself? From where?” Carmilla asked.

“From Kirsch's, _mom,”_ Laura sighed, “He was having another party but I got bored.”

“So you walked _here_. At night. Drunk and alone.” Carmilla said.

Laura shrugged, “I missed you.”

Carmilla blinked at her, “Right,” She said, “Okay well, I'm gonna give you a ride home.”

“No!” Laura nearly yelled, “I told my dad I'm staying with Danny, he'll kill me if I come home!”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “He won't kill you for coming home, he'll kill you for being wasted,” She said, “Just like I'm gonna kill you if you don't quiet down.”

“Oh sorry,” Laura smiled, “Can I come in?” She nearly whispered.

“I just said I'm taking you home.” Carmilla said.

“Carm, please,” Laura begged, “I'm tired and I don't feel good and I don't wanna get in trouble!”

“I feel like you should've considered that before you made the ridiculous decision to walk across town by yourself at night, while drunk, in the first place.” Carmilla said.

“Why are you being such a bitch?” Laura asked.

“Excuse me?” Carmilla's eyebrows nearly flew to her hairline.

Laura shrugged, “I mean like, I told you I came here because I miss you and you- you completely ignored me and are trying to get rid of me.”

“I can't imagine you'd be too happy if I showed up drunk on your doorstep.” Carmilla said.

“I told you I'm not drunk,” Laura said and Carmilla just rolled her eyes again, “If your new little girlfriend or whatever is in there and that's why you don't want me here then you can tell me.”

“Ell?” Carmilla clarified.

Laura nodded, “So she is your girlfriend.”

“No,” Carmilla sighed, “And no she's not here so-”

“So let me in, please!” Laura begged again.

Carmilla sighed and rolled her eyes again, stepping aside and allowing her to walk through the door.

Laura tried her best not to stumble to the couch and flopped down with a sigh, “Your couch is always so comfy.” She said. Carmilla just looked at her before closing and locking the door and walking to the kitchen to get her a glass of water.

“Drink this.” She said, putting the glass in front of her face to get her attention.

“Oh thanks.” Laura smiled and took it from her, almost chugging the whole thing. Carmilla just grimaced hoping and praying she doesn't end up throwing up everywhere.

“I think you should probably get some sleep.” Carmilla said.

“I don't wanna sleep.” Laura whined.

“ _Too bad,”_ Carmilla said, “I'll get you a blanket...and trash can.” She said as she walked over to her bed.

“I wanna sleep with you.” Laura said, coming from out of nowhere and hugging her from behind as she reached across her bed for her spare blanket. Carmilla froze for a moment and straightened up with a sigh, prying Laura's arms from around her. She turned them around, Laura falling back on the bed when her knees hit it.

“Scoot back and get under the blanket okay?” Carmilla instructed her, “Lay down and make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back I'm just gonna go to the bathroom real fast.” Laura smiled and struggled to do as she said.

She shook her head when she turned around and only got back to the couch when she heard a “Carm, wait!” In a slightly panicked voice. She turned around to see Laura struggling to get out from under the covers, looking like she was about to throw up.

“Shit,” Carmilla sighed and rushed over to her, grabbing the small trash can from by her dresser, “Hey hey hey, lay back down and lean over the edge, you'll be fine.” She said, placing the trash can by the edge of the bed just in time.

Carmilla reached forward to pull her hair back and turned her face away trying not to listen to her. But failing and gagging all the while. After a few moments, Laura stopped and she felt her relax a little so she peeked at her through the corner of her eye, “You done?”

Laura just groaned in response and turned back over onto her back, “Can I have some more water?” She asked in a raspy voice.

Carmilla just nodded and grabbed the empty glass off the coffee table to fill up again, “Here.” She said, handing her the glass. She took a smaller drink and handed it back. Carmilla handed her a napkin to wipe off her mouth.

She flopped back down with a sigh and pushed her hair away from her face. She looked like she was about ready to start crying.

“Hey,” Carmilla said quietly, “What's wrong?”

Laura just shook her head, “I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

And then Laura started crying, “For coming here,” She clarified, “I just...I still love you.”

Carmilla sighed and closed her eyes, “Get some sleep, Laura.”

“Why won't you say it back?” Laura asked.

“I'll say it back when I'm ready to.” Carmilla said.

“What does that even mean?” Laura asked, “You said it before...Kind of.”

“Just get to sleep, Laura.” Carmilla sighed again.

Laura just pursed her lips but closed her eyes. She had been struggling to keep them open anyway. Carmilla pulled the blanket back up over her before she walked over to the couch. Apparently she was sleeping there tonight. She can't believe this is actually happening.

Once she woke up the next morning around 10:30 she glanced over at her bed where Laura was still a sleeping lump under the blanket. She got up quietly and got some coffee started before she went to the bathroom to get herself woken up.

She grabbed a cup when she came back out and sat on the couch, turning the TV on the news. Quietly. After about an hour she heard a small groan from the other side of the room. She glanced over to see Laura struggling to get untangled from the blankets as she sat up. They made eye contact and Carmilla just raised her eyebrows at her.

Laura blinked a few times before she stood up and silently walked to the bathroom. She was in there for a few minutes before walking back out and sitting at the table. Carmilla glanced over at her.

“I'll leave in a minute just give me a sec,” She groaned, “Also I stole some of your Excedrin.”

Carmilla snorted, “I can give you a ride home if you want.”

“I can walk.” Laura said.

“It's raining.” Carmilla informed her.

Laura sighed, “I'm so sorry. I don't-I kind of don't even remember how I got here let alone anything else so I really hope I didn't do anything stupid.”

“Well, besides walking here alone and drunk across town you didn't.”

“Yeah um, that probably wasn't a smart idea,” Laura chuckled, “But um...we didn't...you know-”

“Oh...um, no.” Carmilla said.

“Oh okay,” Laura said, almost sounding relieved, “I just...I was in your bed so...”

“Yeah, I slept on the couch.” Carmilla said.

“Okay,” Laura said, “I mean I'm not trying to say you'd do that considering how um...intoxicated I was but I mean-”

“I get it, Laura,” Carmilla said, “You don't have anything to worry about.”

“I'm just...more worried about messing up another relationship I guess.” Laura admitted.

“What?” Carmilla turned on the couch to face her better.

“You and...Ell. You're together aren't you?” Laura asked, looking down at the table.

“Oh,” Carmilla said, “Um...not exactly.”

Laura gave her a confused look, “What does that mean?”

“Probably what you think it means.” Carmilla said.

Laura gave her an unreadable look and just nodded, “Right.”

Carmilla continued looking at her as she tried to look at anything but her, “You look like you want to say something. So just say it.”

Laura shook her head and sighed. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, debating on whether or not she should say it. Finally she just did, “You didn't even wait to see what happened after I graduated.”

Carmilla let out a breath, “Laura-”

“No listen, Carm, please,” Laura interrupted her, “I kinda thought everything would get better and we could get back together and then I had to see you with her every day and now knowing that you guys have been... _you know._ Did you actually ever love me or were you just kissing my dad's ass so he wouldn't say anything about us? Because I feel like if you did you could've waited a little less than two months for me.”

“You're kidding right?” Carmilla asked, “Of course I loved you, Laura. I still do, that's the problem.”

Laura narrowed her eyes at her, “You love me so you're fucking some other girl? That makes  _so_ much sense wow. You're doing it for me! I can't believe I didn't see that before.” She said, her voice literally dripping with sarcasm.

“Yes, Laura, I'm fucking Ell for you,” She rolled her eyes, “I don't-I don't think we should get back together right now.”

“Oh gee, I wonder why.” Laura said.

“Oh grow up, Laura,” Carmilla sighed, “What makes you think your dad is going to approve? What makes you think if anyone sees us it won't make them ask a ton of questions? What makes you think we'll even last after you go off to college?”

“One, I don't care what my dad has to say about this. I'm a big girl and can be with whoever I want to be with. Two, who cares? There's nothing they can do now. Three, what makes you think we _won't?”_

“You're barely going to see me after you leave, you're going to meet a lot of people there-”

“It's literally a half hour away,” Laura interrupted her, “Who said we won't ever see each other. Who said we even have to limit when we see each other to just the weekend?”

“I don't-”

“Yeah, you don't know. You don't know anything about what's going to happen,” Laura interrupted her again, “You're probably doing this so I can 'live my life' and be happy right? What makes you think I'm going to be happy without you? Even though I had high hopes for after graduation I was still miserable without you. Why do you think my first thought last night was to come here? Why do you think I even drank that much in the first place?”

“Because you miss me,” Carmilla said and she just gave her a look, “That's what you said.” She pointed out, trying to ignore the possibility that Laura has been drinking because of her.

Laura sighed and rolled her eyes, “You're being selfish, you're just afraid you're gonna get hurt again.”

Carmilla gaped at her, “Why wouldn't I be? You're an amazing person, Laura, someone up there is going to realize that and I'm sure it's not gonna be that hard to take you away from your girlfriend that you barely get to see.”

“Have you considered the fact that I don't care about anyone there?” Laura said, “Don't even try to argue with me, Carmilla. I have told you so many times that I _know_ we are meant to be together, I can _feel_ it every time I'm with you or even think about you. I know you've felt it too because you never denied it before. You're being absolutely ridiculous.”

“Laura-”

“If you don't want to be with me then just save both of us the trouble and just say it.” Laura said.

“Don't even try to act like I don't want to be with you.” Carmilla scoffed.

“Then don't act like I'm going to change my mind about wanting to be with you,” Laura retorted, “You took the chance on us when the stakes were a hundred times higher than they are now, why can't you do it now?”

Carmilla just sighed and flailed her hands a little. Laura looked at her for a moment before she spoke again.

“I'm gonna call Kirsch, he can give me a ride home. Because I'm done talking about this unless you come up with a better reason. Which you won't,” Laura said as she stood up and walked to the door, “You have a week to get your shit together and fuck your little girlfriend as many more times as you want and let me know if you're going to act like a big girl and try to make this work again. Because if you decide not to, I'm not waiting around for you to get bored with Ell and realize you were wrong about me because that's not fair to me. So it's either now or never. Your decision.”

“Laura-”

“I'm not kidding, Carmilla,” Laura interrupted her again, “I'm not playing this stupid little game with you again.”

Carmilla just sighed and Laura walked out the door. She ran her hands through her hair. Of course she wants to be with Laura, of course she's still in love with Laura. But Ell mentioned her being the right person at the wrong time and she still just can't help but think that its still not the right time. Laura should at least give herself a chance to live her life at college and see how she feels after a couple of months or so. Give herself a chance to see if it will ever be the right time.

* * *

 

“I think she's right, you are being ridiculous.” Ell said.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “I can't believe you of all people are siding with her.”

Ell shrugged and grabbed another piece of candy out of the bag next to her on the couch, “Just because we've been fucking means I have to disagree with her?”

Carmilla blinked at her, “I just find it very...odd that you think we should be together.”

“You don't think you should be together?”

“That's not what I said,” Carmilla sighed, “I just...you're weird.”

Ell snorted, “Look, she had a point. Her first thought while being completely wasted wouldn't have been to come here otherwise. Also judging by the way it sounded, the party wasn't fun. For her anyway. Teens drink to have fun. To me it sounded like she wanted to have fun but her inability to not think about you was prohibiting that and that's how she ended up so fucked up when she got here. She was drinking to have fun but it ended up being a 'drinking to forget about you' thing.”

Carmilla sighed, “Please don't make me think about being the reason why she was drinking especially when I've already been thinking about all of the things that could've happened to her when she was walking here. By herself. At night. Drunk.”

“Don't worry about that anymore, she made it here safely didn't she?”

“That's not the point.” Carmilla sighed again.

“If you would listen to her this won't happen again.” Ell pointed out.

“What makes you think I'm not going to listen to her?”

“You're stubborn. And kinda dumb in the sense that you're too blinded by what _you think_ is best to see what actually is best.” Ell explained.

Carmilla rolled her eyes.

Ell just smiled, “I mean I've a _blast_ with you over the last few weeks but...I know where your heart lies and its with her. And I kinda think it always will be. You're being ridiculous.”

“This entire thing is ridiculous.” Carmilla said.

“Only because you're making it that way,” Ell rolled her eyes, “You're being a big scaredy cat. How do you think she felt when she realized what we've been doing? And the fact that she still wants to be with you even knowing that you've been with me tells me she loves you and trusts you enough to be in a relationship with you even knowing she's going to have to leave you behind where I still am. And where other girls still are. Literally what you're worrying about, she could be worrying about too. But like I said, she loves you and trusts you enough to believe that regardless of the _possible_ obstacles you could face, you'll make it through anyway.”

“Ugh, why are you like this?” Carmilla rolled her eyes.

“Like what? So beautiful and smart?” Ell smiled, “I hear I get it from my mom.”

Carmilla just scoffed.

“You know I'm right you fuckin' loser,” Ell pushed her playfully, “Stop being so afraid and stubborn and just go be with your girl.”

“You're both driving me crazy.”

“You're driving _us_ crazy. But I mean...I can understand your hesitation,” Ell said, “Getting back together with her means you can't bang me anymore. That's probably upsetting for you.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “But I get to be with her again. Sounds like you're the loser here.”

“Which makes you the winner.” Ell pointed out.

“Stop doing that.” Carmilla said.

Ell just laughed, “I don't even have to try. That's how right Laura and I are.”

“If I end up being right I'm killing you.” Carmilla said.

Ell snorted, “That's not going to happen. But if it does then I give you permission to punch me in the face a few times. Killing is a little extreme.”

Carmilla just sighed.

“So...does that mean you're gonna do it?” Ell asked excitedly.

“I think so, yeah.” Carmilla said.

“Yay!” Ell exclaimed, “Go get your girl!”

“Um, I'll call her later.” Carmilla said.

“Wha-what's that right there?” Ell said pointing at Carmilla's face, “Is that a smile I see you trying to hold back?”

Carmilla shrugged and looked down.

“It is! See, you're happy you big dummie!” Ell smiled, “You know this is really what you want to happen.”

“Of course it is,” Carmilla said, “I wanted to get back together after graduation too but I just-”

“Carmilla,” Ell interrupted her, “You're afraid. It's okay. But Laura is very mature for her age and I think she really knows what she wants and she wants you. Everyone her age is expected to make huge career decisions that will effect them for the rest of their life and if she knows what she wants to do for the rest of her life without giving anything else another shot, why is she not allowed to know _who_ she wants to be with for the rest of her life without giving anyone else a shot?”

“That's-actually a very good point.” Carmilla admitted.

“See?” Ell said, “You two will be fine.”

Carmilla kind of smiled, “I hope she's not mad like...you know...I mean I understand why she is but...she was kind of an asshole when she told me that a few days ago so I hope she doesn't keep acting like that, you know?”

Ell nodded, “I think she'll be happy and I think she was probably just being like that because you are one thousand percent infuriating sometimes.”

“Thanks.” Carmilla laughed.

“Anytime.” Ell smiled.

“But, actually thanks, for being so cool about all of this,” Carmilla said, “For everything.”

“ _Anytime.”_ Ell repeated herself.

Carmilla just smiled.

* * *

 

“Would you freakin' sit still, goddamn.” Ell said, sitting next to her in the booth at the coffee shop Carmilla agreed to meet Laura at.

“I brought you for support, not your crappy 'calm down' attitude.” Carmilla said.

“How else am I supposed to support you when every time I try to talk you tell me to shut up?” Ell rolled her eyes.

“Just be here?” Carmilla suggested.

Ell sighed, “Everything is going to be fine, I don't know why you're freaking out. If anyone you know sees you, what are they gonna do? She's eighteen and out of school and there is zero proof you were together before now. And if you're worried about _her_ then that's ridiculous because if you think she's just gonna not take you back even after you were being the biggest idiot on the planet then...”

Carmilla shrugged, “I'm just nervous okay, there's really no specific reason its just...her.”

“Aw,” Ell smiled, “I think its hilarious that she has this sort of effect on you. I mean I know how you are in general and then seeing how you are because of her-”

“Yeah yeah, I get it.” Carmilla cut her off.

Ell smiled and turned her attention to her phone on the table, unlocking it and scrolling through one of her social media websites. Carmilla sighed, her leg started to bob up and down again. Laura should've been there by now.

“I'm going to rip it off and beat you over the head with it.” Ell said through gritted teeth, keeping her eyes on her phone as she reached down and put her hand on Carmilla's knee, pushing down on it to keep her still.

“I didn't know we were gonna be having a guest.” The familiar voice tore Carmilla's attention away from the table and up to where Laura was standing next to the booth across from them, obviously eyeing where Ell's hand was. Ell quickly looked up when she heard her voice too.

“I don't think we've ever really met,” Ell said, “I'm Ell.” She smiled at her and took the hand on Carmilla's leg to hold out for Laura to shake. Laura just looked at it and slowly sat down across from them.

“I know.” She said, not shaking it.

Ell frowned a little before turning to Carmilla, “I'll leave you guys alone now,” She smiled at her, “Good luck!” She said, smiling at Carmilla again as she slid out of the booth and giving Laura a tiny nod before walking away.

Carmilla watched after her and took a deep breath before turning her attention to Laura who was staring at her with raised eyebrows, “You know if you just wanted to meet up so I could see you guys together and have you tell me you don't wanna get back together with me, I feel like you could've saved me the trouble and just told me that over the phone instead.”

Carmilla just snorted and shook her head.

“It's not funny, Carmilla. How-”

“That's not why she's here...maybe I should've thought that through a little better but,” Carmilla sighed, “I-”

“Sometime today, please.” Laura sighed.

Carmilla closed her eyes to refrain from rolling them and took another deep breath, “Just because she was here doesn't mean you need to get a shitty attitude because if that's how you're going to be I think I should change my mind and leave and give you a chance to grow up a little.”

“Excuse me?” Laura gaped at her, “I don't know how-wait...change your mind and leave?”

Carmilla just raised her eyebrows at her.

“So...if you don't change your mind and stay then that means...you wanna do it?” She asked cautiously.

“Seems so.” Carmilla shrugged nonchalantly.

Laura narrowed her eyes but smiled, “So you want to get back together?”

“Isn't that what I just said?” Carmilla chuckled.

Laura shook her head quickly, “I just...before you seemed so sure that what you wanted to do was for the best and... _her_ and-”

“Laura, you told me it was now or never,” Carmilla said, “I don't-I don't really know how serious or certain you were about that but it would be stupid of me to let you slip away, regardless of how things end up in the future. I believe you once said, if you learned one thing from your mom's passing it was that you never know what's going to happen tomorrow or next week or whenever so you should cherish what you have while you can...So that's what I'm gonna do. Maybe everything works out okay. Maybe it doesn't. But at least I won't be wondering for the rest of my life all the 'what if's and regretting it. And at least I'll be happy with you in the meantime.”

“You're such- you fuckin' nerd,” Laura lightly kicked her shin under the table with a teary chuckle, “Why couldn't you have just realized that before and saved us both the trouble?”

Carmilla shrugged, “I don't-I don't know? I was never really faced with the possibility of losing you _for good_ until you said that and...even after all of what I was trying to do like...I still was hoping I was wrong and we'd end up together eventually. Ell told me it was like a 'right person wrong time' thing and I just...wasn't sure it was still the right time you know? But since you told me I didn't have a choice I talked about it more with her and just...kinda got my shit together I guess. Like you told me to.”

“Wait you...you talked to her about this? And that's what she told you?” Laura asked, sounding confused.

“Yeah,” Carmilla said, “She's like...an actual friend so...”

“That you slept with several times.” Laura pointed out.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “You act like people don't have sex with their friends.”

Laura gaped at her, “Because most people don't and if they do they probably end up actually being together.”

“ _Anyway,”_ Carmilla said, “She's very smart and was very helpful so I think you should be thankful for her.”

“I should be thankful for her fucking you while at the same time trying to get you to get back together with me that makes so much sense? Is something wrong with her? Why would she-”

“It doesn't matter, Laura, we've discussed it,” Carmilla said, “And this is how things are.”

Laura just nodded, “And I suppose you expect me to be okay with you guys remaining friends.”

“She is very well aware of how I feel about you which we've discussed a lot and basically called me an idiot for considering not getting back together with you yet so I can't imagine she would try anything,” Carmilla explained, “And regardless of what we did while you and I weren't together, it doesn't matter because I love _you._ I never cared about that part of our 'friendship' passed the sex and being a distraction from you because it was _killing_ me thinking about the possibility of me being right in the end so...yeah.”

“So what was that when I got here? With her hand on your leg? And that smile?” Laura asked.

“I was...nervous I guess and was bobbing my leg a lot and it was annoying her so she was trying to keep it still. The smile was because she smiles all the damn time and was excited for this to happen.” Carmilla explained.

Laura just chuckled, “Oh my god, this is nuts.”

“I'm also a little upset with you,” Carmilla said, trying to lighten her mood but Laura's eyebrows shot up, “I mean...youtook away my dramatic and romantic love confession. The one where I stop you at the train station or show up unannounced at your door or whatever and beg for your forgiveness and tell you I can't live without you because that's how much I love you and I didn't know what I was thinking 'please forgive me and take me back, Laura!' You know, that sorta thing.”

Laura snorted and shook her head, “You're a loser.”

Carmilla shrugged, “I don't know, I was kinda looking forward to it.”

“Isn't it a little cliché?” Laura asked.

Carmila shrugged again, “Isn't that usually about the way all good love stories end?”

“You mean all the boring heterosexual romance chick flicks, right?” Laura chuckled.

Carmilla laughed quietly, “Seriously though, I love you _so much,_ Laura,” She said, “I'm sorry I was being so selfish and just...being afraid to get hurt again. I was hurting you by pushing you away thinking I was doing what was best for you...for us. You're a very smart girl and its not like I'm your first girlfriend that you blindly believe you'll be with forever...you've been with other people and have still told me you believe we're meant to be together and that you want to be with me and see a future with me. I was your age before and I know that then, there was no way I could've imagined having met the person I was willing to settle down with for the rest of my life at such a young age but it was ridiculous of me to assume that just because that's how I felt at your age that that's how you feel deep down inside and that that's being covered by how you feel about me _now._ We're two completely different people, I shouldn't base things about you off of my own completely different experience.”

Laura nodded, “I mean I understand,” She admitted, “It's just frustrating because I know I'm just a teenager and sometimes I'm too dramatic or overzealous and just...a typical teenage girl and that makes people think that what I feel about certain things, or people, is temporary and that my thoughts and feelings over time are going to change but...when I care about something or someone it doesn't...that's not how things go for me. I love you, I'm _in love_ with you. And I _know_ that nothing is going to change that. And I just wish that you and my dad and whoever could've just realized that before any problems were caused.”

“I believe you, Laura, I do,” Carmilla said, “But...I'm always going to be afraid of losing you. That's just how it is.”

Laura nodded, “I know, I feel the same.”

Carmilla gave her a small smile, “So, do you accept my apology?”

“Of course I do.” Laura smiled back.

“Thanks.” Carmilla said.

“Thank _you,”_ Laura said, “I know you're not good with all of this stuff which is why we're here in the first place but...You're taking another chance anyway and I just-Thank you.”

Carmilla just shrugged, “I love you, the way I was trying to show it was doing more harm than good.”

“I love you too.” Laura smiled.

“Also one of the things I love about you most is how freaking stubborn you are...I'm not entirely sure you would've given up if I had made a different decision today.” Carmilla grinned.

Laura shrugged, “I might've lasted a couple weeks.”

Carmilla smiled and shook her head, “So...do you wanna get out of here or actually order something?”

“I'm not really feeling anything from here,” Laura admitted, “So...why don't we just walk around and hold hands and stuff and be the couple I always wished we could be in the first place?”

“Okay,” Carmilla smiled, “Um, I'll meet you outside okay? Ell is still over there so I'm gonna let her know what we're doing.”

Laura's eyes narrowed slightly, “Okay, don't take forever.” She said and slid out of the booth and walked to the door.

Carmilla walked over to Ell sitting in the corner booth, “So everything went fine.” She smiled.

“I knew it would!” Ell smiled too, “So are you guys gonna go hang out?”

Carmilla nodded, “Yeah, do you need a ride or anything?”

“Nah I'm good,” Ell said, “I'll probably chill here for a little bit more and finish this coffee and see if any of my friends wanna meet up somewhere or something.”

“Okay,” Carmilla said, “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Don't worry about me,” Ell said, “Just go be with your girl.”

“Alright alright,” Carmilla smiled, “Thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

Carmilla gave her another smile and walked out the door. Laura was leaning against the wall next to the building waiting for her, “Ready?” Carmilla asked, holding out her hand for Laura to take.

“Almost,” Laura said, stepping forward and grabbing her face, pulling her in for a long kiss. She put her arms around Laura's waist, pulling her closer and after a moment, Laura's hands fell from her face in favor of wrapping her arms around her neck. They finally pulled apart and Carmilla rested her forehead on Laura's while Laura looked up at her, biting her lip, “I missed that.” She said quietly.

“I missed you.” Carmilla smiled and gave her another kiss. Laura smiled pulled away from her, grabbing one of her hands off her waist to hold.

“I'm ready now.” She said, starting to walk and pulling Carmilla along with her.

“Me too.” Carmilla smiled. She knows they still have a lot to talk about, especially about Ell and trying to explain what exactly the deal was with them. But that’s for another time.

So maybe she ends up being wrong about Laura going off to college. That's not going to erase the chance of literally anything else happening that could break up their relationship. That's just the way it is. But maybe that feeling Laura has about them being meant to be together isn't just... _a feeling._ She feels it too, she's acknowledged that she feels it too but that's never going to be enough for her to just...hold on to and hope for the best.

Maybe Laura breaking her heart is inevitable. Maybe them being together for the rest of their lives is inevitable. Whatever their inevitable is...she's going to cherish the time they have before it gets there. Because she loves Laura and Laura loves her and they both deserve to be together and be happy while they can be. No matter what the future holds for them.

She hopes their future is happy and together.

And she _feels_ like she might be right.

She looked over at the younger girl walking next to her until she felt her gaze on the side of her face and turned to her with a curious look. Carmilla just smiled at her. And Laura squeezed her hand and returned the smile before leaning into her side and resting her head on her shoulder.

She's also pretty sure that whatever happens, this girl is definitely going to be the end of her.

* * *

 

“Man, this is taking forever. Why haven't they let us leave yet?” Kirsch asked, fidgeting in his seat as he fanned himself with his program..

“Calm down,” Carmilla rolled her eyes, “They all have to get to whatever that hall was called and presumably take off their gowns and whatever.”

Carmilla was poking through her phone in the meantime, trying to ignore the influx of texts she was getting from Ell asking how things were going. And ignoring the fact that the possibility of her passing out from the heat soon was a very real even though she's drank like 3 bottles of water.

_C: It's over now, I took a video of her walking on stage and all that good stuff I'll show you when we get back home please leave me alone now._

_E: No need to be rude, I just wish I could've came!_

_C: We know. We'll see you later_

_E: Have fun!_

Kirsch sighed for the 500th time and leaned over to rest his head on Carmilla's shoulder.

“Ew, get off me,” She said, pushing him away, “It's already a million degrees out here, I don't need you touching me. Pretty sure that's what your girlfriend sitting on your other side is for.”

“If you think I want his clammy hands anywhere near me right now, you're crazy.” Danny leaned forward to tell her.

“Why do you guys always gang up on me?” He pouted.

“Sorry, babe.” Danny kissed his cheek. Carmilla mimed gagging and turned her attention back to her phone.

“So,” Laura's dad broke the silence from her other side, “Laura's gonna move in with you when she gets back home, huh.” He didn't really ask.

“That's the plan...for now.” Carmilla said.

He just nodded, “She mentioned she wants to live in the city.”

Carmilla mirrored his nod, “Yeah...I've been looking into jobs there. I don't really wanna teach at one of those bigger schools but I've been looking into like...teaching art classes and stuff.”

“But for now you guys are gonna stick around.” He said.

“Yeah. Until she finds a job anyway,” Carmilla said, “I'll figure something out if she does before I do.” She brought her hands up to move her hair around to one side of her neck and started fanning herself like Kirsch was.

“Is that the ring she got you?” He asked, eyeing her left hand moving back in forth in front of her.

“Oh yeah!” Carmilla smiled and held out her hand for him to see, “Those losers helped her pick it out.” She said, gesturing to Kirsch and Danny.

“I still can't believe you're marrying my little girl.” He said.

“Oh come on,” Carmilla elbowed him playfully, “If you really disapproved you would've told me no when I asked you for her hand.”

“Yeah well, I don't think you're going anywhere regardless.” He said, she didn't miss the way the corner of his lips twitched up a little.

“I think you'd miss me if I did.” She teased.

He scoffed, “Yeah right.”

She just smiled at him as they were released to join the graduates inside. Laura sent her a text telling her where she was so they could find her so it didn't take them long to.

She immediately ran over to Carmilla, beaming, and threw her arms around her in a big hug. Carmilla wrapped her arms around her tightly, “I'm so proud of you.” She whispered in her ear.

Laura pulled back just enough to look at her face and just smiled at her before giving her a kiss. After a moment her dad cleared his throat and she chuckled as she pulled away from her and went to hug him. After a moment she stepped back and smiled at all of them, “Thank you guys for coming!”

“Where else would we be, cutie?” Carmilla asked.

“Well then where is Ell?” She asked.

“She couldn't make it,” Carmilla said, “She had something this morning and she didn't get out of there in time to make it here.”

“Oh,” Laura frowned for a second, “Well at least you guys made it!” She said, turning to Kirsch and Danny and giving them a double hug.

“Your dad here was trying to tell me he doesn't actually want us to get married.” Carmilla said when they released her, giving him a look.

“Daddy!” Laura exclaimed, “This is why I worry about leaving you two alone.”

He just smiled, “Come on, you two know I love you guys.” He said, wrapping his arms around their shoulders.

They both smiled too, “Well, do you guys wanna stick around or do you wanna head home?” Laura asked.

“I'm kinda hungry.” Kirsch said.

“I don't think that's what she asked.” Carmilla said. He just stuck his tongue out at her. Which she mocked of course.

“We could get something to eat and then head home.” Her dad suggested.

They didn't know when they'd end up getting back so they were having a little graduation party for her next weekend. That way LaF and Perry and Ell and her family and whoever else could celebrate with her.

_And yes, Ell._ It took awhile but Laura finally warmed up to her. They're not the best of friends but...She's kind of one of Carmilla's two best friends so...She put up with her.

They went out to eat all together and headed home. They all piled into the same car to save gas and thank  _god_ the air conditioning worked because she was stuck in the back seat of Danny's car (her's was the “biggest”) with Laura pressed against her side and her dad on Laura's other side and Kirsch wouldn't shut up so all of his hot air was being released into the already hot air that still hasn't been cooled down yet. She kind of wanted to die.

But once they got home, Kirsch and Danny left and they hung around Laura's house...Well, her dad's house now.

Laura wasn't really taking a lot with her to Carmilla's. Just another dresser for her clothes and some of her other things. So most of it was already there and they could relax for a little bit. Talk about the day and further discuss her plans for the future and whatnot.

Once it got a little later they decided it was probably time to head home.  _Home. Together._

They were mostly silent as Carmilla drove.

When they got there and Carmilla unlocked the door, she allowed Laura to walk through first and followed shortly behind. Laura just kind of stood there looking around before turning to Carmilla.

“Welcome home.” Carmilla smiled at her.

“Welcome home,” Laura repeated with a smile of her own. She stepped forward and put her hands on Carmilla's shoulders, leaning up to give her a quick kiss before just looking at her for a moment. And then down at the ring on her left hand, “I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Neither can I.” Carmilla smiled and kissed her again.

And to think a few years ago she almost fucked up all of this. She has _never_ been more happy to be wrong about something. It definitely wasn't easy but they made it through. And the more hurdles they made it over, the more Carmilla believed maybe they were _really_ meant to be together. Not just because they were in love and getting married and all that stuff but because they were literally just meant to be.

Kind of like soulmates.

If Carmilla had heard herself think that a few years ago she would've just laughed and called herself ridiculous. But it doesn't matter what she or anyone calls it. They're together and they're always going to be.

And she couldn't be happier.

“I love you.” She whispered against Laura's lips. Laura broke into a huge smile like she does every other time she hears Carmilla tell her that.

“I love you too.” She whispered back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when carm tells laura she took away her big romantic gesture that is 100000% me talking to laura because i was so down with her standing up to carmilla and telling her how its gonna be and so the end really couldn't have gone much differently lol sorry if it was lame.
> 
> headcanon away about what happened between when college started and when she graduated because they definitely had some rough patches they had to work through, it's not like they were disgustingly happy the whole time. or ask me on tumblr (grumpycatmilla.tumblr.com) because i have a pretty good idea about things and just didn't want to write anymore about it lol. or ask about anything else if you'd like!
> 
> but really thank you guys for reading and leaving (sometimes crazy) comments and kudos. this story was 1000% never supposed to go this way or be this long but you know what they say about your characters doing one thing while you intended for them to do another :p stupid feelings. but i'm glad people still like it even though a majority of the time i was writing i wanted to punch myself in the face. you guys are the real mvps <3


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